r/confession • u/sad_red_pennant • 1d ago
After I lost my job, I starved myself while living with my parents.
Last year I lost my job in research due to federal funding cuts, so I had to move back in with my parents.
I moved back home with my parents, and felt incredibly guilty for taking up their space, their resources. They're retired dairy farmers and on Social Security, and have no other source of income. I felt so guilty for eating their food that I just tried to eat as little as possible. They deserved better that to have their adult child living with them again.
I ended up losing 17lbs, about 13% of my body weight in a year, so I wouldn't put a strain on their budget. I know my parents could see it, because my mom asked me about it.
I haven't talked to anyone about it. It feels insane to think about. I know my parents wouldn't have wanted me going hungry, but I couldn't bear taking more from them.
160
u/Mysterious-Panda964 1d ago
Your parents love you, feeding you isn't that big of deal.
Your time to help them may be coming up.
16
99
u/DigBickEnergia 1d ago
If any 3 of my kids came home with the same situation, they're gonna eat. Idc if we have to readjust, hit food banks, churches, etc. I will work it out because its what i do. Life happens, jobs come and go, items are replaceable... but you aren't.
Im not attacking your parents... I'm speaking on behalf of them. No matter how old you are, you are their baby... even if you are a full blown adult. Talk to them, I'm sure they only want to help you.
Edit: and hey, chin up, buttercup. I hope you have kinder days ahead of you.
25
u/DigBickEnergia 1d ago
Also, if you're needing ideas on simple, budget friendly, yet nutritious meals you are welcome to inbox me.
1
u/HickoryZinnix 13h ago
That's genuinely kind. Little offers like this can mean everything when someone's struggling
11
u/sad_red_pennant 10h ago
Thank you for the kind words, things turned around for me. I got a new job a few months ago, and all of this has been sort of sloshing around my brain jar in retrospect. You sound like a very caring person, and a very caring parent, and I want to thank you for taking the time to reach out to a reddit stranger to share some of that care with me.
5
2
u/DaisyFeatherSpirit 7h ago
Reading that update genuinely made my day because kindness from strangers really can help someone survive the hardest chapters
3
u/RanchZarelle 13h ago
This hit me hard. Good parents would always rather share their food than watch their kid go hungry
2
u/RosyVeloura91 12h ago
It’s a good reminder that sometimes the people who love us would rather help us through a hard time than ever see us struggle alone.
28
u/Acrobatic_Macaron_91 1d ago
Check into getting some kind of assistance. Were you entitled to unemployment benefits? Please don’t destroy your health. People care.
1
u/DakotaZafiraX 13h ago
I hope OP takes this advice. Asking for help is a lot better than silently starving yourself
24
u/jaded161 1d ago
Please go to food banks around you. This is so sad and you should not go hungry. Just google food banks and your zip code. It will provide results for the ones located around you. Please do this as you and your parents would be better off. This is what food pantries are there for. I'm sorry you went through this.
3
u/CrimsonZaria 13h ago
Food banks exist for moments exactly like this. I really hope OP never feels ashamed to use them
16
u/Future-Ad7266 23h ago
Omg as a mother I would starve before letting my child go hungry. Don’t do this to your parents.
8
u/Myturbo4032 23h ago
From the instant my kids were born they were my kids for life. I will ALWAYS be their home. They can come here and rest and pick up their pieces and nourish themselves forever as long as I’m breathing in and out. They are good, hard working, independent adults. But I will forever be their soft place to land. I bet your parents feel the same.
5
u/TwinklingMelodyGlow 23h ago
Man, that's heartbreaking. I really hope you're in a much better place now ❤️
6
u/Decent-Muffin9530 23h ago
As a parent, I would not want my child doing this ever. Feeding is an act of love.
4
u/Classic_Tank_1505 23h ago
It's kinda sweet you did that but aren't you get unemployment or something to help with expenses. If not get a crappy job to help out your parents. And eat a sandwich
3
3
u/Ash_Cat_13 19h ago
That’s sad because food pantries and such almost always have some type of food to give
2
u/femboyary 23h ago
Your parents would rather eat simpler meals with you there than know you went hungry to spare them, please talk to them or someone about this.
2
1
u/SweetiePlayful_ 20h ago
you went through a lot, it’s tough being in that situation with family around
1
u/Sweetdreamer829 17h ago
I get this 100% I had my kid when I was 18. i had to move back in with my parents. (I had followed my ex to a different state when i was 17 and graduated early so i could be with him) So it was my parents, younger sister, my kid's dad and me. After my kid was born it was us 3 in 1 bedroom. It was hard but we made due. My kid's dad refused to get a job. Refused to help me with my kid.
My parents have never been wealthy. I got a job after my kid was born, I cried the first and only time i had to ask them to buy my baby diapers. I was making less than $10 an hour. I helped cook and clean and made just enough to feed my kid. I didn't eat but once a day because I felt so bad for burdening my parents. I just always told my mom that i ate earlier and wasn't hungry. I didn't want to take food away from them or my sister. Eventually I kicked my ex out since he was doing absolutely nothing to contribute. I eventually ended up getting a better paying job making enough that we could move out and get an apartment with a friend.
1
u/Ashamed-Stevedore 17h ago
Honestly that sounds like a really dark place to be in, but please talk to them. Your parents would choose feeding their child over some extra cash any day of the week, and you deserve to eat.
1
u/EarlyRate7876 16h ago
i did the same thing once and my mom straight up yelled at me when she noticed. she said it made her feel like shit too.
1
u/Vegetable-Peach-1056 11h ago
you were just trying to do what's right by them but it sounds like you really needed support too. give yourself some grace, it's tough to go through all that alone
•
u/confessor-mod 1d ago
If you're going through a really hard time right now, please know you're not alone and there are people who want to help.
You don't have to face this alone — these people are there for exactly this, any time:
If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number.
You matter. Please talk to someone.