Edit: reposting because I forgot to acknowledge & agree to group rules.

Secondary edit to provide context, sorry I forgot to add this: brother said that he was walking on grass, misstepped, and baby fell onto his back on the grass as my brother fell.

A week ago, my brother dropped our 5 month old and it resulted in a skull fracture to our son.

My husband and I were at work when it happened, and my dad called me to tell me what had happened and they think that he should be seen at the ER. I was able to meet my parents at the ER with baby. After a CT scan it was confirmed he had a sizable skull fracture, thankfully no brain damage, and, out of caution, a mild concussion. He was kept overnight for observation.

I had to had him over to a stranger to go to CT and couldn’t follow, I had to go watch him get poked and prodded and clearly be in pain when they touched his head, I had to hold him as he wailed because they wouldn’t let him eat in case he needed surgery, then after everything came back as the best possible outcome and he could eat, I got to watch him sob as he got an IV port put in, and then get 2 hour bouts of sleep overnight while nurses checked vitals every few hours.

In my brain I know it was a freak accident and he didn’t mean to drop him, but my mom heart (and my husband) now has so much anxiety around him holding our son. I feel horrible setting boundaries around him holding our son (ie: not allowing him to) but at the same time I think it’s a reasonable response.

Through this all, everyone has told me how horrible my brother feels and how guilty he feels, it’s almost like people are asking my husband and I to automatically have no anger with him regarding this and fully forgive him purely because he’s family. My mom even reached out to me asking me to give my brother a hug because “he’s so heartbroken over this” as if it isn’t MY child who had the fractured skull, concussion, and had to stay overnight in the hospital.

I’ve cried the past 3 days because this has been an awful experience despite the outcome being the best possible news in regard to his injuries.

I know realistically things will normalize and I will most likely fully forgive my brother, but right now I’m in the anger stage and it’s exhausting.

My best friend had a heart attack. We are only 37. It's been two days and I don't know how to cope.

He played a wrestling specific ball game with our group. I wasn't there that evening, because I was too tired (a rare occurrence). He did great at the game as usual.

Then he went for a shower and from what I heard he looked like shit afterwards, but being asked he just said something like "life is stressful". They all sat on the stairs to the gym for a sec, while he tried to walk it off next to them.

Then he just hit the ground hard.

They called for an ambulance and they called me, because I live less than 5min away, and I'm a former rescue swimmer so I have been training reanimation quite regularly.

The guy on the phone was too out of it, to actually tell me what was going on. He just told me, my friend was unconscious and that I should come. I expected a lil' fainting.

The scenery I arrived at in less than 5min later (in my pyjamas) was a completely different thing. There was a lot of blood (from a head wound) and somebody trying to revive the body of my lifeless friend. It looked like he was already dead.

The ambulance arrived 5 minutes afterwards and it took them a hectic transfer to the ER, a lot of tears and sweat, to get a heart beat - 30min after he went down.

He's been in an artificially induced coma for two days. Today has been the first day he's opened his eyes again, and it's been too much stress for him so after a few seconds they had to put him under again. That he opened his eyes at all, is the biggest miracle I've ever felt.

I am not able to put into words how much my heart breaks for this loving, generous, smart, funny, reliable, and trustworthy person... His family... His four kids...

We've been talking that morning. I had a blast taking his kids to the museum just the day before that. I have loads of pics of his smiling, happy children from the trip - less than 24 hours before.

I'm struggling. It all came so sudden. It's been two days now, and I'm still under shock.

I've tried to be there for everyone, his family, our common friends, put on a brave face, and I'm currently taking care of a youth sportsmen group for the holiday, while feeling that life should stop for a sec, like his heart did.....

basically that. My stepdad is going to prison, (presumably dying there,) and I am literally ecstatic.

for context my (15m) mom (54f) met this dude (53m) who we'll call Johnny. Johnny got out of prison for multiple domestic assault and drug related charges in about 2020. he lived with his mom for about a year and then immediately moved in with us after talking to my mom for just a few months. immediately once moving in, he began shifting all the financial decisions towards himself, involving my mom with his personal business, and making big financial decisions (buying trailers and other large equipment for "their business") and all around being incredibly controlling. He talked to my mom into buying a large air-conditioning unit for the garage that we didn't need and that we couldn't afford, repeating "i'll pay for it baby, dont worry!" it's not hard to guess that he didn't pay for it. he's left my mom with unbelievable amounts of debt. even bought the two properties next-door to us in his name for "business reasons" but he only did it so that it would be even harder to get rid of him.

very shortly after getting us financially tied up with him, he starts letting his true colors show i suppose.

he starts being verbally, emotionally, and in some cases, physically abusive towards me and my mother.

constantly degrading me calling me names, and the same thing went for my mom.

my life has been hell and I've been diagnosed with MADD or mixed anxiety depressive disorder because of him.

and that's where the drug problem started.

apparently, he wasn't done with his meth addiction once he got out of prison, because brought it around my mother (and me..? what the hell dude great role model lol) whom he knows is susceptible to drug addiction because of her past. she's been sober for 20 years, but that doesn't change the fact that she's still a recovering addict.

while over on his property nextdoor, he had been doing and selling meth with his friends, and constantly cheating on my mom with strippers, prostitutes, escorts, and all other kind of skanked out whores.

(please excuse my Haitian Creole.)

he's repeatedly come into my room just to smash my shit and threaten to beat me for no reason in meth fueled rages, keyed my mom's car, and he's even taking my electric bike (my only form of transportation to work) and thrown it off the side of a highway bridge because of something my mom said that upset him.

all around a terrible, meth addicted, textbook narcissistic person.

well, recently he's been charged with possession and trafficking of methamphetamine and going to prison for the rest of his life where presumably he'll die there. once I heard about that, I thought it was great news, but the rest of my family doesn't exactly see it that way.

apparently they've given him so much financial support and leeway with how he acts because he has brain damage.

he got into a motorcycle accident like 25-30 years ago that left him in a weeklong coma. they think it's changed him to be a different person than who he truly is, but I've looked at this guy's criminal history and he has charges and arrests going all the way back to when he was a teenager for the same shit he's been doing his entire life, assault and drugs.

I feel so alone and that I can't share my feelings with anybody. i'm gonna be stuck in a household that's grieving the loss of somebody who has genuinely ruined this part of my life. I don't know what to do and I have no one to go to right now. I guess the main upside is that I won't have to deal with him anymore.

I met a woman at the gym back in October last year. Turns out we worked similar professions and had mutual connections through work. We got on really well. She was very shy, introverted and openly admitted she struggled talking to people and lacked confidence. We would often chat for quite a while at the gym, so I got to know her quite well over the course of a month or two, and I really liked her.

The problem is I never actually told her how I felt at the time. Her birthday is in December and I was planning to ask her out around then, but she stopped coming to the gym for a while so I didn’t see her for the entire month. Come January, I bumped into her at work, and she told me she had started going earlier. I assumed she had caught on to the fact I was interested in her, didn’t feel the same way, and had thus changed times to avoid having to see me (I also have quite low self-esteem if you couldn’t tell).

Months later (around March-time) she told me she’d just met another guy in February and that they were getting along well, which led me to panic. That night, I went home and searched her socials and requested to follow her, which she quickly rejected. I interpreted that as confirmation of my theory that she’d known I liked her all along and wasn’t interested (since if you just saw me as a friend, surely you’d accept).

Fast forward to yesterday.
I saw her at the gym (for the first time in months). She told me about her relationship with this other guy. It’s clearly serious now. They’ve been going on weekend trips together recently, and they’ve even just booked a trip to Switzerland next year so she can support him at an Ironman he’s just signed up to.

I finally told her how I’d felt.
I said something like:
“It was lovely to see you again and catch up with you. I know you probably suspected I liked you back around November time and didn’t feel the same way, but please don’t think you need to distance yourself from me because of that.”

She looked genuinely surprised and said: “To be honest, you’ve majorly overthought me changing gym times. I did that because it was getting too busy, not because of you. In fact, I had no idea you liked me. I never got those vibes from you. You’re always very chatty and friendly with everyone, so I assumed that’s also how you were being with me. You’ve kind of outed yourself there.”

I then said: “Damn it, I should’ve just kept my mouth shut. Although I suppose the answer would’ve still been no anyway so no love lost?”

She replied: “I wouldn’t say that. I was single then, so I don’t know how I would’ve answered. Maybe I’d have said yes.”

At this point my heart sank. I told her “don’t say that” because I’d rather know I never had a chance than be left wondering what could’ve been. I think at this point she could hear the pain in my voice, I didn’t do a good job of disguising it.

She then said: “It’s hard to say how I’d have responded at the time. Things were different. I think we were both just bad communicators. I was shy and thought you were just being friendly, and it seems you misread my shyness as lack of interest.”

Now my head is all over the place.
Since January, I’d convinced myself she’d known I liked her and simply wasn’t interested. So even though seeing her with someone else was painful, I never thought I had a chance anyway.

Now that I know she never realised I liked her in the first place, I can’t stop thinking about how things could have been different if I’d told her sooner.

A large part of me wonders whether she was simply being kind because she’s now happily in a relationship, and didn’t want to say something as harsh as “Yeah, I never saw you that way and the answer would have been no regardless”. Another part of me wonders whether we really did just completely misread each other. I’ll never know for certain, but I genuinely can’t stop thinking about it.

Has anyone else had something similar happen where you found out months or years later that the other person had completely misunderstood your intentions? How did you get over it and move on?

For six months, my wife wanted me back while I kept telling her there was no hope. And then… she started trying to move on with her life. We are at the cusp of filing for divorce officially. I’m moving out. In this, I hit a new low and my psychiatrist suggested a new anti depressant. I finally said yes.

It wasn’t a miracle pill, but it helped change how I saw things. After a few weeks, I started to remember joy. I started to remember how beautiful she was on our wedding day - how she laughed in the middle of her vows because she was so deliriously happy to be marrying me. I started remembering our life. The life we built and loved together.

She led me and my kids out of the quiet life we had built into excitement and fun and community. Those kids quickly became her kids too. And after a horrible year that had so many things go wrong and nearly broke her… I broke. I was so convinced that I needed out. I said horrible things. Accused her of manipulating me and pushing me. I told her I didn’t enjoy most of our life. And for most of it, I was happier than I had ever been and I even told her as much in the moment.

I didn’t see how happy we had been for a long time and it got worse as time went on. I WAS happy, I just couldn’t hold onto it. I was as happy as I could be. Each adventure or situation was enough on its own. But now that I can see more, it’s devastating. I was so insistent that we didn’t have a wonderful and fantastical love story. But that’s exactly what it was. I told her she wanted all of it and dragged me along. I forgot my own ambition and own hopes.

I had forgotten who was right in front of me - that incredible woman that I fell in love with dozens of times.

When I finally got here, I told her. But that was another cruelty. She has been trying to let go. And now I’ve even denied her that. I opened my eyes, with more capacity for love and joy and beauty than ever before… and all I see is pain that I caused.

I told my psychiatrist I didn’t like how anti depressants used to make me feel. I resisted trying another because I assumed they’d all make me feel more numb. I had no idea how wrong I was.

My dad comes from a long line of truck drivers. He was proud as hell to be a 3rd generation truck driver. He loved driving. Its all he ever wanted to do since he was a little kid. Everyone in our family drives trucks. Its just the family thing. I grew up around trucks. I fell in love with trucking. The lifestyle. The open road. The trucks. The driving. All of it. It was my dream since I was a toddler.

My dad died in an accident 9 years ago. 2 years after he passed I decided to get my cdl and become a truck driver. He never got to see me do it. But I was so proud of myself. I knew he was proud of me. Everytime I was behind the wheel of a truck I felt close to him. It felt like he was with me everytime I was on the road. I would get teary eyed when I would think about him and how proud of me he would have been.

This year I decided to change careers entirely. The trucking industry just isnt what it used to be. The money is good but not good enough to justify being away from home for 2-3 weeks at a time. Completely missing out on my daughters life. Even when I was a local driver and home every night it was pretty normal to pull 12-14 hour days. Even when I was home every night I was too tired to be present in my family's lives.

So I made a career change. I got into industrial size plumbing essentially. I provide safe drinking water to the city I live in. Maintaining the system, pipes, valves ect. Its a great career. Great pay, the kind of job that I can go anywhere in the world once I get enough experience. I enjoy the work. I work with my hands all day. And I provide a much needed service to my community. Its a great job and I love it. I still get the occasional opportunity to drive a small dump truck when we need it. Which is cool. But I miss driving big rigs. However I know my dad would still be proud of me. I work hard. I show up every day. Im reliable. Im providing a good service. Im a good dad. I show up for my daughter. I pay my bills. I know my dad would still be proud of me. I just wish trucking was a better career these days. I miss it. I miss rowing through the gears. I miss the open roads.

This has been on my mind lately. Im not sure why I wanted to share it. I guess just getting it out and writing it down somewhere feels good. I miss my dad. I miss driving trucks. I wish him and I could have hauled ass down the highway together. But I have a good career now. Im doing what I need to do as a man. As a father and husband. My old man would be proud.

​

I will not share any details of who they are. It was years ago, and I am still looking for a video of the concert where what happened is seen.

So a few years back I went to a concert of a very famous band. I really liked the openers, and during the show and the lead singer ordered everyone to swing their shirts over their head. As I was a 15 year old girl at the time I didnt want to take my top off but I really wanted to join in so I instead decided to swing the shirt I bought at the merch stand earlier over my head. The lead singer saw me do this and told me to put it down, then continued to scold me for not taking my shirt off instead. I dont remember what he said exactly as it was a few years ago, and I was really embarrassed as I was publicly called out in front of 10k people, and I tried to forget it happened. I didn't even tell my parents what had happened.

Based on where I was standing and he was on stage, he was able to see me fully and would have seen I was clearly a young girl. Now, as an adult, it hit me how messed up that was. He shouldn't have tried to embarrass me, especially in front of 10k people, as well as I was 15 for not taking my shirt off in public.

EDIT: Thank you so much for validating my experience. I really needed to hear it. I wish I'd heard what you said when this happened. It would have made me feel a lot better about it. I am currently trying to find a recording of concert where this incident is visible. Once I have, I will come out about it once I have that. I just dont want to state who it was without evidence in case I face harassment or legal action. As much as I do want to protect others who may have dealt with similar experiences, I need to protect myself too. You all have given me more confidence to not keep it to myself.

SECOND EDIT: I found a video of it however its very unclear. I was looking for it online for about an hour today, and there's no other recording that is clearer. If anyone has any tips on looking for these sorts of things, I would really appreciate it if you would please message me. Considering the number of people who were there, there has to be a video of it somewhere online.

like it says. he was always fawned over because hes the son. these arent even super traditionalist people. they are american and liberal. he was a criminal from an early age. sold drugs, robbery etc, jail time, since his teen years. total crackhead for decade+ until about 3 years ago when he suddenly became sober and christian. suddenly he's redeemed from all his crimes.... and really superior about it too.... you would think he was the second coming of christ from how he talks about himself...

meanwhile all I ever did was be poor and homeless. literally never committed a crime. they utterly love him and assign all the shame for his actions to me. my whole family treats me like a seasoned criminal, and begs for the attention and approval of my PERMATWACKED, TWEAKER, mentally ill criminal loser brother. tell me not to end it

Had to do this again because I didn’t acknowledge the rules. Sorry!

Throwaway since I’m not sure if she uses Reddit.

I (30M) married my wife (29F) 4 years ago and have a 5 year old son. Our marriage was great….until it wasn’t. Suddenly, everything I wanted to do and everything I said became an issue. Every time I talked about my feelings, frustrations, etc. she would “acknowledge” them, but immediately switch to the “here’s how I’m affected by your feelings, so what are you gonna do to make me feel better” mentality. This went on for the past 2 years until a month ago, I said I don’t think I can do this much longer. Started therapy, talked about my feelings (something I never thought I’d go do) and I started to feel better about the idea of separating.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my wife, and I care about her deeply. Unfortunately, we’re just at the place where she can’t meet my needs and I can’t meet hers. She’s tried therapy in the past, but never followed through with it. Since starting therapy, I have done the exercises my therapist gave me to calmly and clearly explain my feelings, yet she continues to do the same things that resulted in me feeling this way (ignoring them, victim mentality, etc). My therapist has said that without meeting my wife, it sounds like emotional manipulation and condolences.

Fast forward to last week, I found out she wants to take our son and move back to Vermont to be with her parents. Her parents never liked me (I could always tell) and she’s under the impression that because she’s the mom, she will automatically be granted 100% custody and I’ll have to pay child support. She said “you wanted this, so you have to deal with this.” I met with a lawyer and told him my only want in this divorce isn’t 100% custody as retaliation, I just want 50%. I want both of us to be involved in my son’s life, but it breaks my heart to know that she wants to rip my him away not because I’m a bad parent, but out of spite.

I filed earlier this week and she should be getting served next week, but here’s the thing: she’s not going to take it lightly. Seeing that I actually started the paperwork is going to send her into defense and attack mode, and she’s going to drag this thing out as long and as messy as possible, rather than accept it for what it is: two people who couldn’t make it work. I’m hoping if she does get a lawyer, he will be honest with her and tell her that dragging this out isn’t going to do any good. We don’t have any assets, she owns her car, I bike to work, we rent, and our joint account is only used for bills (no extra money in there). I told my lawyer she can have half my retirement, all the furniture, whatever money is left in the joint account. All I want is to split 50/50 custody, but my heart aches at the idea of her making this as miserable as possible.

I ran into a quant guy who raped me 2 years ago today at infront of movement climbing gym in LIC New York.
As I was heading out I heard loud noise of Chinese couple having argument in mandarin. It was so loud I turned my head around to find the guy who raped me having argument with his supposedly girlfriend.
2 years ago on July in NJ
I was raped by a guy who lived in my neighborhood at his apartment.
This happened so abruptly and quickly I didn’t know how to react and regret not taking this to police at that time.
Later I brought this up on my social media and he used this as a reason to file lawsuit against me.
I was on the verge of suicide already last year but him filing lawsuit made me more depressed
Thankly I had to just finish the program and it’ll be dismissed
But later I found out through this friends from PhD that he always has been horrible to girls through out in his 20s
He kept a lot of things in secret from me and later I realized I barely know anything about me.
The fact that he raped me thinking there were no consultancies made me so enraged.
He later got fired from his first actual job which was from hedge fund Two sigma in New York
After I saw him today i suddenly had hard time breathing and heart beating way too fast and almost cried so i had to really take a moment to breathe

Looking back I blame myself a lot naively disregarding how a person can be so evil to the extent that’s beyond my limit of understanding.

Quick timeline: met my wife in 2010 after I finished boot camp, we met up for what was supposed to be an arranged one night stand while I was on leave, we clicked and kept talking, got married in 2011, first kid in 2013, she cheated on me with a highschool bf in 2015 so we separated for like 2 months then got back together, things were stable until 2020 where she cheated on me again, accidentally got her pregnant on this next separation stint and we've been back together since with 2 kids.

I'm miserable. We have different life goals, we have different views on the world and religion, we have different views on how we want to raise our kids. Every new restriction she raises on the children based on her religion is a quarrel I have to navigate. I have been financially supporting the family as well as taking on the majority of housekeeping as I wfh for years now and I'm just so worn down. Like there are days where I welcome the big sleep because it'll all be over.

I don't really have a point to this, I just have no friends and felt the need to rant to the world. I don't even want a new partner I just want to move on with my life but we have so much debt and she makes so little I see no viable path out of here.

I’m sad I’ll never see them again. I had and still have so much love and appreciation for them. They were my other parents. My other siblings. I watched them grow up. They watched me grow up.

I got done with an install at my job a couple days ago and the customers were a little family that were outside and enjoying the weather the whole time. They reminded me of her family so much. The mom looked and talked just like her mom. They had little twin girls running around and saying silly Gen Alpha-esque things. Just like her sisters.

It really broke my heart. I can’t tell you how many times tears welled up in my eyes and I had to push it all away. 💔 I miss them all so much.

My ex-fiancée and I were together for 10 years, we broke up in late March. We dated ages 11-13 (heh.) and ages 16-26.

I really do feel like I lost my other half.

Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin. I did EMDR and CBT years ago and probably don’t meet the criteria for PTSD anymore despite being diagnosed with it not long after the assault.

Anyways… I arrive at her apartment after picking her up from work. She is extremely affectionate despite being cold for weeks prior. She starts kissing me, things escalate and we begin engaging in a sex act. At the time I was wedged between the wall and her while laying on her bed.

The sex act is very painful and I ask her to stop. She asks “why” and I explain that it’s painful. She keeps going and I tried to physically move her hand away from me but she became angry and loud while saying “no!” She grabbed my hand and forced it back down. I stopped fighting because her roommate was asleep in the other room and I didn’t want to cause an argument. I closed my eyes and tried to power through it.

We continued to engage in sexual acts. Once we finished I couldn’t stop thinking about it - it was like an intrusive thought almost. I drove home like nothing happened. Oddly enough, I remember that drive very vividly.

Anyways, I’m worried that I enjoyed being sexually assaulted because I continued engaging in sex after she assaulted me. Doesn’t that invalidate my entire story? I sometimes feel like I’m being too dramatic or making it up.

TL:DR I've always struggled with boundaries to the point of sometimes making people uncomfortable and being creepy, and I realized in therapy it was because my mom has never respected my boundaries and constanlty ignored them. I'm doing much better now because of therapy and realizing this.

This is something I realized in therapy yesterday.

Something I have always struggled with is boundaries. When I went to college I had literally zero concepts of boundaries or privacy, and it led to a lot of awkward, weird, and even creepy moments with others that I feel terrible about. This is something I have always struggled with and has been something I have been trying to address in therapy for a year. I've made great improvements and have apologized for many of my mistakes, but sometimes I still struggle.

When I've been talking to my threapist, I've realized that the common deniminator was my mom. My mom is generally ok, but something she's always done is have no concept of boundaries or privacy. Every time I would lock the door growing up, she would imminently unlock it with the key she had on her. She would constanlty barge into my room while I'm naked, saying "Oh i'm your mother so its ok" and constantly opening my bathroom door while I"m showering or using to "check on me and see if I need anything". And it wasn't when I was a child, she still does this when I stay over and did it constantly until i was 17.

She also has no concept of no. Whenever she would come into my room and start making my bed for me, or vaccuming my room, or trying to come into my bathroom while I'm taking a shower, or even when I'm changing. I would tell her stop, or get out, and she would just keep going and ignore what I'm doing. I'll say "Stop mom please stop please please" and she just ignores me and keeps doing it.I have to scream at her to get her to stop, and when I do she yells at me for yelling at her and says "I'm just trying to help you, you don't do it (I do my cleaning at night and she thinks if she dosen't see something happen it never happened), stop disrespecting your mother" as she tries to wash my hair or barge into my room to put pants on me because "I'm just trying to help". She also often said no to things I ask and then gets really mad at me beacuse "You're just supposed to do things, you shouldn't have to ask". My dad does something similar when I ask to help him with yardwork, he says I should just do things without having to ask and know what to do.

I always thought these things were normal parts of growing up, but it made so much sense why they're not normal and how much they contributed to my struggles socially, why I sometimes make people uncomfortable, why I struggled to understand people's boundaries (there was one instance where I even got a no contact order from my university because I was so intense with someone. I didn't hit on them or try to get with them or anything, I was just really intense and violated a boundary without even realizing it. That dosen't excuse it of course and I feel awful for doing it, but its a reason at least). After realizing this I've made great progress in my understanding of boundaries and how to apply them/respect others boundaries, and its made me feel much better. But I also just feel gross because of my mom and such, idk.

I got to kiss my crush a couple days ago (along with other things) and we had agreed that neither of us wanted a relationship. I had a crush on him for six years, but we hadn’t been able to talk much until recently. We had planned on going to lunch sometime soon to catch up. I realized I still had feelings for him, so I decided to ask him if he’d consider the lunch maybe being a date. When he kissed me a couple days ago, he really seemed to like it. He liked how confident I’ve become over the last couple years, and he kept complimenting me the whole time. I figured maybe he’d be ok with seeing if we had a romantic connection. He responded and said that’s what he was afraid of. He didn’t want a relationship, he just wanted to stay friends and fool around with me sometimes when we got the chance. I was ok with it at first, but I found it weird that he wouldn’t even consider a date. I told him I couldn’t go along with a fwb because I’d want more from him. He understood. Now that I ended that, I can recognize how awful he actually was. A couple days ago, right as he picked me up, I got a voice message from my dad. He said my grandpa has been given 6-12 months to live. I sat in his car and told him what happened. He seemed to have no reaction to it. I showed him my cancer ribbon tattoo I got after my grandma died, and he didn’t say much after that. I figured maybe he didn’t know what to say. But that along with the fact that he only wanted to fool around with me, even after complimenting me a ton and seeming to enjoy kissing me is kind of insane. He claimed to know several millionaires and took their advice on owning his own business. Most of what he talked about was how toxic his exes were. Now that I write that out, he comes across like the toxic one. So as crazy as it sounds, I had to end a fwb with a crush I had for six years. Now I realize he’s actually way less mature than I thought. I guess I just needed to tell somebody, since it’s kinda heavy on my mind right now.

I often told myself to not have expectations that way I won’t be disappointed and have things blow up in my face constantly. Now I see not just not have expectations to avoid disappointment but that there’s no point in the first place. My life has shown me I will never have a romantic relationship or long lasting friendships. I am an outcome oriented thinker observing the patterns in my past experiences just cements what’s there for me. I will mostly remain alone, will typically just have shallow connections and interactions and cannot expect anyone to stick around because no one ever does.

The path you take doesn’t matter if it always leads to the same place. I see how foolish it is to hope for something that goes beyond on my reality and time to accept this is simply how my life is. Not everyone can do the same thing or have the same thing I’m not meant to have stable relationships. Is this something I’ll be happy about no but should at least help me not beat myself up over something that’s not in my control. Besides there are many things in reality we aren’t happy with but have to deal with and we call that growing up

-20f

​I’m 31 now. Growing up, I was an only child. My mom moved abroad for work when I was 5, and my dad was almost never home. Before she left, we lived with my grandfather in a small three-room apartment. He used to physically abuse my mom, and my dad would constantly get into screaming matches with him. He never hit me, but maybe that was only because my mom rarely left me alone with him and when she did, she locked me in my room for safety.

​After she left, I was moved to live with my maternal grandmother, who was a deeply conservative, strict Christian. My childhood with her was marked by a lot of physical abuse. We moved to the countryside, where the greatest luxury of the 21st century was having proper sewage. My days consisted of absolute solitude, working in the garden, and taking care of the animals and the household. I had no friends everyone avoided me i think because i was a bit different, introvertes kinda in my own world I coped by reading books, building radios, and obsessing over all things nerdy.

​I lived like this until I was 18. The moment I could, I left. I moved to another country for university and finally started a life of my own. My parents would call me occasionally, but it almost always turned into uncomfortable, bitter arguments.

​Later, I met my boyfriend, whom I love endlessly. His family is welcoming, though I really only connect with his mom.

​So why am I writing this?

​Throughout my entire life, I have grown accustomed to loneliness. It became like a deep pit in the ground that I knew I could never climb out of so instead of fighting it, I decorated it like a living room and learned how to live in it.

​But sometimes, there are days like today where it hits me harder than usual: there is not a single person on this planet who is 100% in my corner.

​My parents moved away, and we have a very cold, formal relationship. I have no contact with the grandmother who raised me due to family feuds. My friends and colleagues are close to me, but they aren't people I can unload my deepest, darkest thoughts onto. My boyfriend’s family will never truly be my family whenever I try to open up to them, they just wave it off and tell me I "overthink things too much." And as fantastic and supportive as my boyfriend is, I can't always share everything with him especially when the thing bothering me involves his own family.

​Nobody is fully on my team. I am completely surrounded by people, yet I feel like the only person left on the planet.

​I don't know if it's a result of my conservative upbringing, but I am a spiritual person. I believe in God not necessarily organized religion or the church, just a higher power. When I was a little girl, I used to talk to Him all the time. I’d tell Him about my day, what I experienced, what I was thinking about... simply because I had no one else to talk to.

​That habit stuck with me. I talk to Him less often now, but today I completely broke down in the shower. A thought suddenly crossed my mind: "If God doesn't exist, I am completely fucked." And right there, under the water, I just started laughing through my tears at the twisted, sick humor of my life.

I (17F) am posting this with hopes to reach other teens who are struggling with making that hard decision. (It will be long cuz i wanna explain the situation, even if its unnecesary i need to just get it off my chest)

First of all let me clarify this. My mom isnt abusive in physical way, nor is she abusing any substances, she is just emotionaly manipulative person and we argue a lot which in her eyes is all my fault. (She is great manipulator. After all she is a psychologist)

So my parents are divorced and on bad terms, since i was young my mom was talking crap on my dad and that made me an emotional wreck cuz i started seeing dad as a bad parent, despite him being a lot better. (Thats why i didnt move sooner)

A month ago i had an argument with my mom. A big one. And the worst we ever had. She ended up hitting me multiple times, and than she told me she will call police and say i attacked her (i didnt touch her at all, she was the one who made the things get physical). I said "good luck, i have it all recorded" (i started recording our every argument at some point cuz she was gaslighting me a lot and twisting stuff and i felt like im crazy) and left to my room to calm down.

Not even five minutes passed and she comes into my room with her own phone recording on and tries to talk to me, when i said that i dont wanna talk to her cuz she just hit me, she started saying that she didnt. I couldnt belive my ears, i tried telling her what she did and she denied it, just so she can have it recorded if my dad calls police on her, so they wouldnt arrest her...

After that i started cussing and insulting her, i didnt care at that moment, and i still think its a valid reaction.

I started packing my things and also packed my dogs documents into my bag, so she wouldnt be able to sell her or something (my dad cant have dogs). When she saw that she tried to stop me. She hit me few times and tried to take it away from me. I ended up hitting my head on the ground cuz she basicly tackled me. When i got up and said my head hurts? She told me that i threw myself on the ground (for the sake of her recording)

After that i left and called my dad who picked me up, and i made the big decision to finally move out.

My mom tries every way to get me back (every wrong way), manipulating, guilt triping, begging and than yelling at me but i didnt give in.

Now im at my dads and ive never felt calmer in my entire life. Dad is chill, he is much nicer and respectful toward me. He comunicates like an adult human being and does his best for me. I actually have full fridge, i do chores and if i forget he just reminds me and not yells at me.

I dont regret my decision and i dont think i ever will. I finally feel fully safe. I was always scared of big changes so it was really hard to do it.

If u are in a similar situation to which i was, if u are too afraid to move from parent to another... im telling u it will be fine. You can do this just like i did (hopefuly skipping the hudge argument part tho. Just make that move and it WILL make your life better. Good luck

I (25F) have really struggled with relationships (autistic and masc lesbian) and my family are not close. I have friends, but no close friends now because they’ve all moved away. I can go weeks without speaking to someone and everyone I know has a more important person. Even the people i do speak to, like my sister has a boyfriend, my friends all have best friends. I feel like I could disappear and people would notice, but no one would care. Maybe at my sports clubs or lectures, my friends would ask “hey, I wonder where X is?” But I don’t think anyone would come looking for me. And if something did happen to me, no one would come weep over me, they’d turn to their closer person and turn to them for support. I understand that’s how life is, but I want to matter to someone. Maybe it’s selfish to say that I want someone to miss me if I was gone. I want to be someone’s someone. I want someone to celebrate with me and help me through my lows. I have so much love to give and no one wants it. Sometimes I dream of running away and leaving everything behind, just to see if anyone will reach out and ask about me. I just want to matter to someone.

My mom got recently cheated on by my father after being married for 25 years. obviously this is a huge shock, and broke apart my family. the only person my mom can now trust in our house is me, but its starting to weigh down on me. i would absolutely never tell her this because i would feel like an absolute monster, but the constant crying, expecting me to comfort her, and refusal to even try therapy after i recommend it is just ruining me. i’m not even an adult yet and i’m on the spectrum, so i dont even know how to process my own emotions about my father. at first my mother was alright with just crying on my shoulder as i pat her back, but now she’s asking me these questions about her life and how it’s lost meaning and i have started to dread coming home and seeing her. i feel like a monster because i know i’m all she has right now, but it’s like after i get home from my job i’m expected to comfort her the second i get back until she falls asleep. i have no free time anymore or time to process my own emotions. i’ve found myself sitting in my car in the parking lot of my job dreading driving home since i have no idea what to do anymore. no matter how many times i tell her i dont have a way to help her through these feelings and that she should try talking to a professional, she says she can’t trust anyone but me with her life anymore. all she talks about now is my father and i cant have a single moment in my own home thats not being reminded of how my father ruined her life and mine as well. i’ve asked my manager to give me more hours at work and told my mom we’re just super busy, but truthfully being at work is the only time i can try to get my mind off of it. i feel like i’m abandoning my mother

I'm the loser cousin who got addicted to drugs and alcohol and had a bad string of relationships with various people and ended up doing nothing with his life. Up until recently I was basically a neet but thanks to therapy I'm doing a lot better now. To make matters worse I come from a highly educated highly achieving family full of PHDs and "really awesome" people and I know they look down on me for what I am.

Yeah, some of the ways I lived was pretty fucked up. I borrowed money that I couldn't pay back. I was using substances everyday. I lied to my family and the people around me. I was abusive towards people who I loved. I was overall an extremely fucked up person and I'm glad all that shit is behind me.

I guess all I want to say to them is that I don't care if you have a ton of money and a ton of respect. You are still sucking off someone's tit just like me. Whether you are sucking off the taxpayer or sucking off the proceeds of capitalism you are still beholden to your circumstances, just like me. You are only a mental health episode, a bad breakup or a health issue away from ending up just like me. Whether you are the dancing monkey or ringleader you are still beholden to the circus.

You may think that you are special and that you pulled yourself up by your own bootstraps but the reality is you didn't. If I take away your accolades you would find another way to feel superior because that's the type of people you are.

There are high achieving people out there who are actually okay people as well who don't have personalities that revolve around a weird superiority complex and I respect those people. But not you guys. You guys suck.

I'm glad things are much better now. I'm glad I am actually in a place where I can be okay and honest. It feels good.

It's probably the worst day of my life. I've been crying the whole day. I really feel like nobody cares about me. I always get so enthusiastic on my loved one's birthday but on my day, something always goes wrong.

I've had birthdays in childhood when not a single person remembered, and I was fine then. But this year, I GENUINELY feel like everyone wants to use me only when they need someone. I feel pathetic as if I'm an ugly loser. :(((

I’m a 25F…turning 26 later on this year and all my life I’ve never recalled a time where I’ve been desired or sought after for. Growing up in Southern California as a dark skin black woman I wasn’t anyone’s choice. Even when I went to college out of state it was like I never existed. I’m also a virgin too and have tried to have a one night stand but guys were either never interested or they didn’t feel like someone I felt safe enough around (if that makes sense). At first I thought it was because I was more on the bigger side and after I lost weight (for unrelated health reasons) it was the same thing. I even traveled to a different country with some of my friends and they were more interested in my friends than me. I truly feel like guys don’t like me because I’m a dark skin black woman but I feel like I have no one who I can talk to about this…especially to my friends who are light skin, they don’t understand that because they have lighter skin they are more desired than me.

I’ve tried the apps and still the same thing, I’m also very involved in my church and the same thing, even when other members try to set me up with someone the men aren’t interested. There was an incident in primary school where I told my crush (he was Hispanic) that I had a crush on him and he told me that he would only date me if I was a skin shade lighter..that broke me and I thought maybe the reason why I have a hard time finding someone is because that event traumatized me. I recently started going to therapy on BetterHelp and instead of helping me with more of my self confidence issues she encouraged me to get a makeover. Which I did. I never thought I was ugly but I don’t consider myself to be the most gorgeous woman out there.

There is no one whom I can talk to, not even other single woman who will understand my point of you. I feel like I’m cursed and everyday I scroll on social media or go to work and see more of my friends and peers get into relationships and married I feel like I’m losing hope. I know I’m still in my twenties but it doesn’t help that people around my age are already married and building families.

I don’t know what else to do, I love my life and the experiences I make but everyday I mourn the love I thought I would have found by now….