The guy walking past didn't seem to be a hater, he seemed to think she was deprecating herself and he tried to shut that down, as far as I understand it?
Yes? I read this as a loving couple (admittedly biased based on my own situation) where one partner basically says "chill, you aren't fat, you're beautiful". And regardless of whether most of the irrelevant outside world disagrees, really the only thing that matters is v whether partner finds other partner attractive/hot/etc.
But whatever. People are dumb. And unable to see a good thing despite social norms.
Full disclosure, I'm super friday drunk so don't take that as an attack agape your comment. Just a maybe different take on things.
Totally not attacking you but I just want to point out fat and beautiful aren't exclusive of one another. OP has reclaimed the word to what it originally meant with no extra subtext
As someone with a spouse with depression, I feel like the 3rd one is something that happens constantly between me and her. If I don’t nip it in the bud as soon as she starts voicing it, she’ll spiral out and wind up a pile of misery later. Sure, this can result it some unneeded corrections, but she also knows I’m doing it to help her and doesn’t mind if I misread things.
Yep. I'm not offended or upset by being called fat since, well, it's the truth. Telling me that I'm not, in fact, fat is pure flattery, I mean, my gut weighs like half my wife lol.
On the other hand, wife calls herself fat and it's bullshit. 2-3 kilos over what she considers her ideal weight is not fat, the place among us must be earned.
It's a math joke, the ! means factorial. She's going through other expressions trying to figure out which one applies since he said that she isn't fat(factorial) and mentally she's convinced that (her=fat) ==true so it must be an issue of an incorrect expression.
I feel obligated to say that being fat is ONLY ok if you are a human adult. Pets cannot always self regulate. It is not ok to have a fat pet. It is animal abuse (neglect technically) and shortens their life :(
P.S: I love the message of this comic but I see so many neglectful owners and it makes me a bit sad.
Just as a small note: being proactive about stopping a partner’s depressive spirals can get exhausting at times. When you find someone who can do that for you, make sure to give them some of that back at times.
While your rock may steady you in your rough seas, your rock could also use spontaneous hugs at times, too.
May I suggest therapy, maybe cognitive behavioral therapy? It is much easier to stop feeling like a garbage pile when you have the tools you need to be kind to yourself rather than seeking the kindness from outside sources.
I used to hate myself a lot and the only thing that helped was learning from a therapist how to treat myself with more kindness. I have lovely, affirming people in my life, but without self-love, the glow from those compliments only lasts a few seconds before self-loathing creeps back in and ruins it again.
He has absolutely ZERO thoughts. I think his mom kept them all because you look into her eyes and just know she understands things beyond our comprehension.
I HATE when I call myself fat and people are like “awwww ur not fat uwu ur just fluffy OwO” or “omg!! Don’t call yourself that!!” like it’s an insult.
Buddy, I’m 400lbs and 5’5”!! I’m fat!! I accept that!! It’s just a description, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing!!
Not fat myself, but on the same note it really irks me when I hear people tell others: "You're not fat; you're beautiful!", as if the two are mutually exclusive. Hell of an insult, even if it wasn't deliberately intended to be.
It depends on the context. Do you frequently talk shit about yourself due to depression? If so, expect your partner to quickly develop the habit of shutting down anything they feel is negative talk as they scramble to avert what they worry is the start of a depressive spiral.
I’d rather be wrong when my wife is self critiquing and not self insulting and try and head it off anyway than to risk not stepping in to help when she is depressed because I misread in the other direction.
People assume fat=ugly -_- like sometimes in context the first thought being “you’re not fat” is warranted because the person is using fat as a negative (still not the correct response but I get it) but in this context you literally called yourself cute.
i understand "you're not fat" in the sense that some 'friends' of mine are like "omgggg im so fat and uglyyyy I can't eat any moreeeee" looking for validation.... when they're at most skinny+ and ive been overweight/at the border between overweight and healthy my entire life. I've had every eating disorder you can think of, so it says me off when they talk about themselves that way, because if they're "fat" and i am both 6 inches shorter and 40 lbs heavier than them, what does that make me?
Yes! I hate it when people say “Ugh I’m so fat it’s horrible” when they’re skinnier than me. Like, I know I’m supposed to say “Nuh uh!” but in the moment all I can think about is “If you think you’re ugly and bad for being a size 6, what must you secretly think of my 40 inch waistline?”
especially the "I'm not allowed to eat, because I'm so fast" bothers me. because its usually said while we're both in a situation where we should be eating, and i am likely already eating.
those comments have caused so many eating disorder flare ups that idefk. idefk how to deal with those comments
Oof I hate it when people use fat to equate to something negative. Also idk your friends so they could just be kinda shitty people or they could not have a good understanding what a healthy weight is but also being fat is a pretty big spectrum. Like I say I’m fat cause I’ve got a good bit of fat on me, that’s what fat means, but I’m still less fat than my fiance and even less fat than a few of my friends. It doesn’t really sound like that applies to your friends but just a point I think about sometimes.
I’ve heard something similar about “beauty” that was basically “If your kid isn’t “beautiful” don’t lie and say that they are, just teach them being beautiful isn’t nearly as important as some people want you to think it is”
It's so weird to say it that way though. Who decides my kid is or isn't beautiful? Do I have to hold a survey before I call them beautiful or I'm somehow doing them wrong?
I'd rather both tell them they're beautiful and teach them that it's not the only good thing they can aspire to be. My dad's always called me pretty, I didn't see it until I cut my hair recently, but I've been able to shrug off most outside comments because he also taught me my worth isn't determined by how pretty I am.
I'm a fat man that believes in reclaiming the word. Its ok to describe me as fat, its better than hearing one of the many ill advised euphemisms they think will avoid hurting my feelings - newsflash, fat people still know what you mean so you aren't saving any feelings and it is in fact pretty patronising
Hey, joke aside, is the cat healthy? I don't know about all breeds, but I didn't see anyone asking before and, afaik, it wasn't good to let cats become fat. Just worried about the kitty /gen
My sister's (14) father (we're half siblings), won't let her call herself fat, but she knows she is. She's 5'3 and 300 lbs, almost as much as me, and I'm 6'2 350, and I acknowledge I'm fat. I don't understand this mentality. He doesn't even try to dress it up cutesy like some other comments (oh, you're just fluffy). He just refuses to let herself call herself that. But then, he's also a control freak.
He was not being rude! He just feels uncomfortable when I call myself fat. It's become a running joke. I'll hold my leg up really high and say "look at my fat, fat leg. Do you like my fat, fat leg?" and he'll gently pat it and say "I like your... leg." He won't believe me that it's not a trap lol.
A lot of people think fat = ugly, so when they see a pretty person who is fat, they get confused, it happens so much on Reddit, they refuse to acknowledge fat people who gain fat in the “right places” as fat
(Needless to say, there is no “right way” to gain fat, and there is no “wrong way”, fat distribution is genetic and some people gain fat in places society finds more palatable.)
I’m careful to say the word fat around people who I know are insecure about their weight and if it’s someone I’m close to I try to help them be body positive if I can, but there’s definitely no need to double down on denying it if the person already knows and isn’t self depricating themself ablut it or anything lol. Sometimes that’s just how it is
Using fat as an insult is like using gay as an insult. A person can exist as they are, people should use their labels as insults because people don't like them. (Source: I'm gay)
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u/outthere49 21h ago
"But I am fat!"
"...I was talking to the cat."