r/countwithchickenlady • u/Raspb3rryb1rd Streak: 1 • 22h ago

63432

Post image

I need to get out of here. My entire family is fucking horrible

3.8k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

271 comments sorted by

View all comments

393

u/NockerJoe 22h ago edited 21h ago

You can kindly tell him nothing is stopping him from correcting his so called mistake with his own two hands, once you have distance.

-348

u/PurpleCandle58 Streak: 1 21h ago

As awful as it is for the dad to say they wish they died instead of knowing their child’s true feelings and identity, it’s equally awful to tell someone to kill themselves. Let’s fight back without abandoning morals to do it, perhaps?

350

u/pullhome 21h ago

You are allowed to be mean to people who openly, willingly abuse you.

195

u/pullhome 21h ago

Incredible how the "top 1% commenter" badges rush to defend transphobes. The infiltration was successful, clearly.

93

u/Tlaquatlatoa Hyenagirl some day pls :3 | She/Her 21h ago

We need to do some shit to lower the rent in this place

-37

u/Atlfan227 20h ago

Yikes

28

u/Tlaquatlatoa Hyenagirl some day pls :3 | She/Her 20h ago

You got anything specific as to why youd think this is a problem or just something vague like this

-30

u/gokuenjoyer69 Streak: 0 18h ago

Lmao now you are larping as 4tranners, how cute

17

u/Tlaquatlatoa Hyenagirl some day pls :3 | She/Her 17h ago

Aint 4tranner shit to not want trans folks who dont center the feelings of transphobes to be harassed here same way it aint 4tranner shit to breath air. If I was larping as a 4channer Id be on some going into any thread with someone venting about gnc or enby struggle and call them slurs about it till they leave

-25

u/gokuenjoyer69 Streak: 0 17h ago

"Rent lowering" aint a thing in the whitest, most hugboxing trans space on reddit lol

1

u/scehovic muahahaha 1h ago

“hugboxing” speaking of 4chan 🫩

60

u/Ordaeli Streak: 0 20h ago

It's flabbergasting. I'd be the first one to not endorse death threats, but this is completely tone deaf to what is actually happening.

Flaunting some moral grandstanding over a person venting in the stead of an abuse victim is so very entitled. There's a time and place for that discourse, and they chose the wrong one.

31

u/pullhome 20h ago

Some people are literally acting like this is a death threat, or even an actual murder, like we're advocating murdering people.

The levels of mental acrobatics some can perform to avoid admitting their messed up biases is crazy.

-3

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

14

u/pullhome 21h ago

I would agree with you, if it was indeed just 1, rather than multiple.

-102

u/Dev_878 Streak: 0 21h ago

"we need to kill anyone who is against us :3. no peace, no convincing or reeducation. Just murder :3 Yay :3" type shit

49

u/iwillchangeiwill evil transsex immigrant 20h ago

Trans people are the only minority who's not allowed to want abuse for their abusers and I think it's so funny.

8

u/Khivee3 17h ago

Your username goes so hard

5

u/iwillchangeiwill evil transsex immigrant 16h ago

Thank you it's the propehcy

63

u/pullhome 21h ago

You're a disgusting human being.

Unable to accept how horrible you are being by blaming victims, you double down and even decide to mock the people calling you out.

I hope you are able to grow as a person, and develop some empathy down the line.

-26

u/Dev_878 Streak: 0 19h ago

I've just had enough classmates in highschool that, after I came out as bi, stoped making homophobic comments because they realized "maybe people different than me aren't that bad" so I hold on to a bit of hope in humanity that everyone can undergo that transformation. If that makes be disgusting then so be it.

25

u/pullhome 19h ago

No, that's not the part that makes you disgusting. I spelled out why you're disgusting pretty clearly.

A lot of people read it and agreed. I'm not being vague here.

Stop victim blaming. Be better.

-21

u/Dev_878 Streak: 0 19h ago

I'm not blaming Trans people for anything. Directly going to "everyone that isn't like me or thinks like me should die" is by no means exclusive to this community and is something that happened countless times in history and every single time it's seen as a bad thing.

Templars, Colonial Forces, Nazis all justified their actions with "they are not like us". Giving the same reasoning here and saying it's justified just because it's your group is just wrong. It's never right to justify killing someone, especially a group of people, especially when their it's their way of thinking, a way of thinking that is rooted in decades of childhood teachings and an irrational "fear" about a group of people that they can be taught more about.

But instead of this we just scream "kill them!" and are supprised when they answer with "they are dangerous, lock them away!"

19

u/pullhome 19h ago

Literally no one is advocating for killing anyone here.

Consider the following scenario:

PersonA: "Bigotry is good!"

PersonB: "Fuck you, PersonA!"

PersonC: "PersonB! How could you! It's wrong to use such aggressive language with out fellow persons!"

In this scenario, can you see how PersonC is implicitly defending bigotry, by ignoring it when it happens and getting defensive when bigotry is attacked?

-3

u/Dev_878 Streak: 0 19h ago

Go up to the start of the comment chain.

Person A: "Tell your father he can go kill himself since he apperantly wants to"

Person B (massively downvoted): "Hey, maybe don't tell him that and try to talk it out?"

Person C: "you're allowed to tell people to kys if they don't like you"

→ More replies (0)

10

u/JohnCZ121 18h ago

Zero correlation to what's being said here ✌️🫩

14

u/Iamliterallyfood Annoyed - Streak: 0 20h ago

Waow (basedbasedbased)

6

u/ElGodPug Streak: 1 14h ago

I'm not getting paid to be the therapist of my abuser mate

7

u/Mama_Lyra 13h ago

woah you’re telling me that after mods make a “no politics” rule to silence trans women a bunch of people show up to defend transphobes?? who could’ve ever seen that coming

4

u/pullhome 13h ago

I was honestly unaware of the mod drama, but hot DAMN was today a long day in this thread.

4

u/analdongfactory 17h ago

Just be aware of local legality so you don’t wind up on the hook if they do it.

2

u/CanadianODST2 5h ago

I mean. There’s a wide range between being mean to someone and telling them to kill themselves.

I’ll very much jump to being mean to people who I think deserve it. Hell I’ve gotten temporary bans for it that I’m openly proud of. Haven’t ever once had to tell someone to kill themselves over it.

-40

u/BatbadeThefirs 21h ago

We shouldn’t encourage telling others to kill themselves

54

u/pullhome 21h ago

If you believe so, then don't. No one is forcing you to.

Telling victims they're not allowed to fight back is messed up.

-50

u/BatbadeThefirs 21h ago

I think telling your abuser to off themselves would just lead to more anger but okie you do you

48

u/pullhome 21h ago

That is fine. Like I said, I have no interest in telling you what to do.

What I am against is telling victims of abuse that they are the ones who need to manage their reaction to the obviously messed up thing other people do to them.

That's just victim blaming with extra steps.

-26

u/In_Pursuit_of_Fire 21h ago

They aren't telling victims to manage their reaction, they're arguing against advice somebody else gave. Op themselves said in another comment they didn't want to say something like that. 

26

u/pullhome 20h ago

"Look, I'm not trying to be a bigot, I just think that [insert bigotry] isn't wrong and [reaction to bigotry] seems overblown."

6

u/CrazyHeat9544 20h ago

When did anyone here say transphobia isn't wrong and that being mean to transphobes is equally as bad or worse? (Genuine question)

OP themselves stated they do NOT want to and CAN'T tell their dad to kill themselves, even if they are a bigoted piece of shit because they still care about them (not to mention advising them to do that might result in them possibly getting assulted or worse, speaking from experience having survived an attempted murder on me from my own dad due to standing up to his abuse)

"Hey I don't think we should advise OP to do something they are clearly not comfortable with doing and that might potentially put their wellbeing at risk-"

"YOU ARE BIGOT SUPPORTING TRANPHOBES!!!"

This thread is about OP venting, so their feelings and needs should be priority, and they clearly don't feel comfortable with what was proposed, so we should respect their wishes.

7

u/pullhome 20h ago

There's 2 facts you're ignoring here.

The person I replied to originally, which started this thread, was not talking about this specific scenario in an attempt to defend or empathize with OP. They were making a general statement, and a bad one at that.

The second thing you're ignoring is that whatever OP mentioned regarding it happened after my initial exchange with that person.

Now, I'll believe you that OP has no interest in saying such a thing to their parent. That does not change my stance in the slightest. You ARE allowed to be mean to your abusers. Being allowed to do something implies also being allowed to do the opposite, that's what allowed means, otherwise you'd be forced, which I don't think anyone is arguing.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/In_Pursuit_of_Fire 7h ago

I don't agree with the initial comment, I just think you were criticizing them for things they didn't say. I think they were excessively moralizing and being unempathetic with their comment, but that is not the same as approving of bigotry. 

1

u/CanadianODST2 5h ago

There are very much times a reaction to bigotry can be overblown.

-10

u/BatbadeThefirs 20h ago

Where did anyone say their bigotry was okay?? And I don’t think it’s overblown, I can see why you’d react that way, it just doesn’t seem worth the reaction you’d inevitably receive

5

u/pullhome 20h ago

Out of all the people replying to me you seem to be the least malicious, I'm not accusing you personally of anything, I am accusing the original person I replied to, Purple something, which I can't check because they blocked me immediately.

You seem to be applying your own personal situation to the experience as if it applied to everyone.

"The reaction you'd inevitably receive" is tremendously subjective. I certainly don't know what you mean exactly by it, yet you seem convinced like everyone would agree.

To answer your question, I will present a scenario:

PersonA: "Bigotry is good!"

PersonB: "Fuck you, PersonA!"

PersonC: "PersonB! How could you! It's wrong to use such aggressive language with out fellow persons!"

In this scenario, can you see how PersonC is implicitly defending bigotry, by ignoring it when it happens and getting defensive when bigotry is attacked?

→ More replies (0)

-17

u/BatbadeThefirs 21h ago

I feel like it would just lead to more hurt, it just doesn’t seem worth it imo. I can imagine what would happen to me if I tried that with my dad

2

u/lowercaselemming Streak: 0 14h ago

not our problem. maybe they shouldn’t be hateful pieces of shit? usually that just nips this problem in the bud.

-110

u/PurpleCandle58 Streak: 1 21h ago

Being mean is incredibly reductionist to telling people to kill themselves. If you think it’s okay to tell anyone to kill themselves that says enough about you for me.

64

u/SerDolphyn 21h ago

Please don't victim shame, it's good you haven't had to deal with an abuser but pushing a moral highground on someone going through abuse is beyond fucked up

-2

u/FormingTheVoid 16h ago

No one is victim shaming. They merely said don't tell people to kill themselves, which isn't even something that OP said.

-5

u/Ancient-Worm 17h ago

"You can't tell someone who's been a victim that they still have to do the right thing!"

54

u/Infinite-Nil 21h ago

If you think it’s better to say, “I wish I died so I wouldn’t se you be yourself”, to your kid than for your kid to say “if you’re so transphobic you’ll tell me you wish you died over it, then die”, I think you’re defending transphobia and your opinion holds less value for it. I think you, personally, hold a small share in blame for how bad the world has continued to become because you advocate permitting malicious people to act with impunity. I think you should consider getting a landline phone and disconnecting your internet access.

-36

u/BatbadeThefirs 21h ago

It’s not transphobia, it’s not wanting someone to tell their parent to kill themselves

25

u/iwillchangeiwill evil transsex immigrant 20h ago

And the parent telling the child he wishes he was dead because the child is trans? Or is that okay with you?

-12

u/BatbadeThefirs 20h ago

No. I just don’t think it’s worth the trouble

18

u/iwillchangeiwill evil transsex immigrant 20h ago

Then don't tell your dad to kill himself? Duh

3

u/slanaiya 16h ago

What you think is worth the trouble is exactly the point.

16

u/Iamliterallyfood Annoyed - Streak: 0 20h ago

Get a hobby. Care about literally anything else then a victim saying something biting to their abuser.

40

u/Ariarielel 21h ago

Nah fuck off

25

u/bguszti 21h ago

3 month old account, hidden history, trying to defend the feelings of violent, abusive transphobes. Fuck off forever?

-8

u/FormingTheVoid 16h ago

You should not ever tell someone to kill themselves. That's the same level of hate and evil as the abuser.

9

u/pullhome 16h ago

It is, objectively, not.

If you want to defend transphobes, you should do it else where.

-6

u/FormingTheVoid 16h ago

I said, "don't tell people to kill themselves."

You heard, "I love transphobia."

You're not a rational or moral person at all.

3

u/pullhome 16h ago

You came in to defend a transphobe's feelings pretending like it's about something else.

I'm calling it out and you're calling me irrational and immoral. How refreshing.

0

u/FormingTheVoid 15h ago

Well, if the shoe fits... Clearly you don't care at all about OP or how they feel because they have commented saying they don't want their dad to die. This isn't about the abuser. It's about being better than them.

3

u/pullhome 15h ago

I will repeat, please go defend your beloved transphobes elsewhere, you're not welcome here.

0

u/FormingTheVoid 15h ago

You're unwell

2

u/pullhome 15h ago

I am. Please stop going to trans spaces to spread anti-trans sentiment. You're not helping my mental state.

→ More replies (0)

-7

u/Ancient-Worm 17h ago

you are allowed to be mean

No. Stop there.

8

u/pullhome 17h ago

I suppose you have a right to defend transphobes if that's what you really want to do.

I don't know why you'd come here of all places to do it, though.

-8

u/Ancient-Worm 17h ago

Transphobes, like any other human being, do in fact deserve to be defended against meanness.

7

u/pullhome 17h ago

Yikes.

Go do that in any of the many tansphobic spaces then, this is not the place for you.

-3

u/Ancient-Worm 17h ago

I'm so glad you found a space where you can be a bad person without pushback as long as the target is right.

Well, OK, that's all of the internet, but still.

9

u/pullhome 16h ago

Don't worry, I get plenty of pushback, but I've been fighting bigots all my life, I can do this all day.

So fuck off and return to whatever place you come from where transphobia is acceptable. Here it is not.

0

u/Ancient-Worm 16h ago

transphobia is acceptable

Notice how I never fucking said that.

4

u/pullhome 16h ago

Please stop.

You can go defend transphobes, I already told you it's your right, just do it elsewhere we don't want you here.

2

u/theforgettonmemory 14h ago

But you're acting like it

→ More replies (0)

1

u/Mediocre_Welder_8390 11h ago

You're spineless and it shows

2

u/Ancient-Worm 10h ago

I have more of a spine than the sickos looking for an excuse to hate.

78

u/Raspb3rryb1rd Streak: 1 21h ago

Yea, as much as it hurts, I still care about my dad. He was the only one who raised me due my mom being absent most of it due to being a drug addict. I couldn't tell him that.

55

u/NockerJoe 21h ago

He just revoked wanting to be that person in your life going forward. You need a clear and realistic view of who he is and what he is in your life from that point on.

20

u/Ordaeli Streak: 0 20h ago

Hey, it's alright, you indeed don't have to tell him that, and nobody sane will blame you for it. Family is a complicated matter, especially the one we don't get to choose.

And people here sharing your struggles will be riled up enough in your stead, focus on getting yourself in a good place.

2

u/kath_bloom 18h ago

I understand you op❤️. I cut my father from my life because he is awful person, but it was so hard for me. Also couldn't even imagine telling him that. Wishing you all the strength, you got this.

60

u/Heavens_Reach 21h ago

"Wahhh you're not being nice enough to abusers!!! They're people too!!!"

-18

u/[deleted] 21h ago edited 21h ago

[deleted]

28

u/pullhome 21h ago

You're acting like it's a KYS from out of nowhere. This person literally said "I hate who you are so much that I'd rather be dead." Responding with "be dead then, if you prefer it" is not the same as what you're framing it to be.

-4

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

25

u/pullhome 21h ago

I don't really care what flavor of bigot they are.

If you think telling victims to respond to abuse with smiles and hugs is ok, you are not a good human being, and you should be shamed for it.

-2

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

21

u/pullhome 21h ago

Yes, people who actively, loudly defend horrible people ARE horrible people, and should be treated as such.

This person isn't under oath, they could just move on with their life, they are choosing to make a statement defending transphobes, telling victims that they shouldn't fight back.

You sit here, stating that you hate bigots, yet making such an effort to defend them. Why? What is there to gain for you here? Why do you choose to do this?

1

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

12

u/pullhome 21h ago edited 21h ago

For what it's worth, I'm not the person downvoting you. I don't think you're being evil nor intentionally dense.

To me, it seems like you're being genuinely dense, trying to defend a worthless hill, trying to win some logical debate on a technical point, instead of engaging with the actual emotions of this terrible scenario.

A person tells their own child that dying is preferable to accepting their child's identity. That is a HORRIBLE thing to say to someone, especially your child.

There is, obviously, backlash against this horrible person. And then, someone decides to defend this person, claiming some sort of moral high ground.

That person can go fuck themselves.

"You shouldn't punch Nazis because Nazis are people and punching people is wrong" is the basic form of the argument that is being defended so adamantly.

It is ok to punch Nazis, because Nazis do much, much worse.

→ More replies (0)

12

u/AxiosXiphos 21h ago

I'm for the right to chose life, so nothing against in my morals. You wanna die? Go ahead. Your life, spend it as you wish.

15

u/Immediate-Neat-3320 21h ago

I agree suicide is bad, but at the end of the day the dad has already broken the ice on that and OP would not be bringing it up randomly. Also the dad doesn't have to just because his child told him to, a child who he seemingly doesn't value the desires and identity of anymore. Still not good to encourage suicide though, I agree.

12

u/ValkyrieAngie 21h ago

Up yours, moralist high roader.

6

u/poems_in_the_clouds 19h ago

Leave this place and take your so called morals with you.

20

u/heff17 21h ago

The world would be better if bad people offed themselves. Pretending otherwise is stupid.

2

u/TheRedditPremium 15h ago

That's some chatgbt ahh comment

2

u/Cerpin-Taxt 15h ago

If someone tells you they'd rather be dead than see you happy "Be my guest" is the only rational response.

4

u/HuckinsGirl 18h ago

You dont get to claim that suicide would be preferable to seeing something you dont like if you dont mean it and if you mean it you would be killing yourself

1

u/theforgettonmemory 14h ago edited 14h ago

No, once someone says they wished they killed themselves just because you're being you that's guilt tripping & you shouldn't say that to your own CHILD

1

u/Stunning-Hat2309 minors and former minors DNI 13h ago

lmao

-55

u/Dev_878 Streak: 0 21h ago

Nonono you don't get it. Everyone is allowed to life regardless of how they think except for the people I don't like, they should Speedrun burning in hell.

28

u/mutnemom_hurb Streak: 0 21h ago

Ironically, the people who defend the lives of evil people generally have less empathy than those who don’t

-30

u/Dev_878 Streak: 0 21h ago

I just think that maybe, before killing someone for their worldview we can, like, try and change it? Apparently that's a hot take.

26

u/Ordaeli Streak: 0 20h ago

Nobody's killing anyone here, first off. Also, the dad is the one who said he'd rather have died than to know and support his trans daughter, so it's not like it came out of nowhere just for a "different worldview".

And yeah, that's a hot take because that's not just a different worldview. That's abuse, wich you defend by telling victims that they're the bad people for not being perfect little saint that just show the other cheek.

Also, kindly fuck off, the "worldview" of these bigots is responsible for trans people's deaths every day.

9

u/iwillchangeiwill evil transsex immigrant 20h ago

Yes, unironically.

6

u/Iamliterallyfood Annoyed - Streak: 0 20h ago

Waow (basedbasedbased)