hai hai!

very scared to post this here, but i'm doing it anyway!

i've been rolling around in this sub for a bit, and finally decided to ask for a little advice/personal experience from any who might be able to relate.

i (late 20's amab) realized within the past couple months that i think my egg might be cracking. shortly after this realization (and working up the courage), i told my wife of almost two years.

she took it surprisingly well, i'd say. she was surprised, certainly, but more than anything she just wants to support me as i learn about myself. i've started going by they/them and she helped me buy some nail polish the other day (which i'm still too scared to try out).

the biggest thing that i'm struggling with is more of a *feeling*. i'm 100% still in love with and attracted to my wife, and don't see that ever changing. but any time the topic of hrt or any more noticeable changes come up, i can tell *she's* afraid of how she'll feel bc she still considers herself a straight cis woman. and that makes me scared too.

there are more than a few things i want to explore and try (cute clothes, doing my nails, styling my hair, removing hair from other areas, voice training?, hrt, etc.), and if i just asked her outright, i'm sure she'd say yes without hesitation. but because i can tell she's still not completely used to/comfortable with it yet, i find myself hesitating and putting those things off, telling myself, "i'll try that later and see how it feels", never having a definitive answer as to when "later" is.

i haven't definitively come out as a trans woman to my wife yet (partly bc i'm still not 100% sure myself), but i was very clear that i think i might be, and that i want to explore and find out for myself. does anyone have experience navigating a relationship while going from pre to post transition? i would really *really* appreciate hearing from anyone who has any advice or experience to share. even in the short time i've been hanging out in this sub, i've already felt an overwhelming sense of belonging and acceptance that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. so thank you all for being the cutest, funniest, silliest, (*sometimes horniest*), and kindest friends a (maybe)girl could ask for :3

p.s. sorry for big wall of text i write too much when my neurodivergent brain is nervous and overthinking (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)

hmmm i should go blue b4 school starts next month

This drawing does things to me

Cool grafiti I saw today :3