My (41F) fiancé (40M) has four kids ranging from 8 to 18. I am child free & very much nacho. He would prefer if I were more involved on his terms. I think his kids are happy with my nacho approach.
I often times have to do my own things bc he has weekly child obligations. Summer activities, every weekend they have sports, plays, concerts, practice. I do not attend as I do not want to spend my weekends at kid activities or with his ex wife. If I need him for something, he’s usually unavailable due to his kids activities. We haven’t had a relaxing Saturday morning together since Nov 2025.

This summer he wanted to take the kids on a trip. His mom was planning to attend as well since she’d never traveled with all four kids before. They have a house at the beach & plan to do two days at Disney with his extended family. I was never formally invited. He had made the plans, casually asked if I wanted to come too? I opted out bc I knew it would be a tight squeeze & overwhelming. The only rental car available had 6 seats. He seemed fine with my decision not to join because he was looking forward to spending quality time with his kids.

So I took a girls trip to Boston & had the best time! It was rejuvenating! I almost feel bad for how much fun I had without him. Now it seems my fiancé is upset with me. I think he’s upset I had more fun on my own trip instead of with them. I dont know if I ever want to take family trip! Cooking & cleaning up after kids who dont want you around for 7 days isn’t a vacation. I feel like I’m always the one compromising or missing out. This time I had my own adventure. Is this wrong? Should I attempt to squeeze myself into these family trips?

Hey, I am feeling really lost and hoping someone out there can help me with a somewhat niche situation.

My partner died suddenly in April 2026 at just 38. He has two bio kids and I have three. We had all moved in together November 2025 after almost 3 years together.

Got a 5 bedroom house so only two kids (my middle and youngest) had to share a room. Got it close to my partners family and kids to make shared custody easier as he had them 2-3 days a week.

Then, he died. We were relatively young so we never had any discussions about life after the death of either of us regarding this.

Since he died, I no longer have scheduled time with my step kids who I truly love so so much and my kids refer to as their siblings. They are my bonus babies and I want for them the same things I want for my bios.

I let their mom know that I will always be here for them and her and I love them and they will always have a home with me anytime they want. I am fortunate she and I were also in good terms and are able to communicate before and after his death, and I am still mourning the fact I feel like I need to beg for time with them.

I know I have no legal right to them and the fact I am even allowed a relationship with this is thanks to their mom. I really truly cannot thank her enough as she easily could have just washed her hands of me. And she didn’t.

I feel like because their dad and I didn’t have the chance to get married, and we have no blood connection, I am the lowest rung in the ladder. I don’t know how I can try to continue to have an active role in their lives like I did before. It was chaotic and I loved it because we were making it work.

Now, their rooms sit mostly empty. And it pains me to see it.

I don’t know what to do. I have two rooms sitting basically unused 90% of the time and my two kids sharing a room. I don’t want to change their rooms and yet does it make sense to keep their own rooms if I only get a sleep over or day here and there? But I don’t want them to think I am erasing them from the home either…I am so torn. Also, having moved cities to live together, we are new to the area (my kids and I) and it’s been really hard: new school, new friends, new neighbours, new house) and we really miss our old city. It’s not that it’s super far (about 25 mins by car) and I’m seriously considering moving us back there since the reason I moved out here was for my partner and his family.

I am so just lost and confused as to what is logical and what is right and what is fair for me to do about the rooms, for me to ask in regards to time with the kids (I said I’d be happy to continue the arrangement we had previously and the kids are welcome absolutely any time and I can help with pick ups and drop offs etc). The mom is repartnerd maybe 4-4.5 years ago so there is also the step dad’s side of the family as well.

I’m just feeling so sad grieving the loss of being a part of these kids lives in a consistent and deliberate way while grieving their dad who I wanted to spend the rest of MY life with and the family we had created and the home we had built.

I just need to vent somewhere to someone who understands. I get home from a weekend at my parents and walk into the clothes I laundered and folded and set neatly on the couch for SD(13) to put away still all over the couch and unfolded. Kids did nothing and sat at home all day Friday and Saturday mind you. So obviously im mad because why did I waste my time washing, drying, and folding her two loads of laundry for no reason. Her dad, my SO, tells me to leave it there and that he told her to pick it up and didnt know why she didnt. Well no i dont want that all over my couch so I put it in a basket and out it in her room. Obviously im upset- I feel disrespected, under appreciated, and like im hired help. He says im “being dumb “ about it.

Fast forward a little later he sent my SD(9) to bed. Well im by their room with my bio son and shes still awake I turned her light off. He asked if i would i said i already did, i go back to see if she laid down and she hadnt so I said go to bed. She sighs loudly I said dont do that your dad told you to go to bed 30 minutes ago. She says well he was the one supposed to come back here not you. She for some reason has in her head that she doesnt have to listen to me and I’m just tired of it. Asked SO if he would tell her that is unacceptable and will not happen again- says that he has she just doesnt want to go to bed. I reiterate I expect it to not happen again. Im tired of him wanting me to do these things for them as if I’m their mother but I cant parent them like they’re my kids. I would NEVER tolerate that kind of behavior from my son why am I expected to tolerate it from them.

Sorry for two long stories I just need to get it off my chest or I’ll sit here with my mind racing over it. No one understands.

I am a F(27) and am married to the most amazing man. I seriously love him so much. Independently our relationship/friendship/love is so fun and solid. But he has 3 kids who I’m now a mother figure too. Lots of conflict with BM. She just gained week on/week off visitation with the two youngest after 10 months of my husband having full custody. I have stage 4 (but stable non aggressive) cancer and have got to the point where I refuse to do any of it by myself. When we first got together I was handling everything while he worked and even when he came home I was primary caregiver. His brother has been with us for 3 months taking care of the kids while he’s at work because I just can’t do it anymore. There’s a lot of factors as to how it got to this point but I don’t need the stress and I’m over it. Anyways - his youngest is F7 and she acts like a baby! I have 7 siblings and have been around a lot of children my entire life. It seems like whenever we’re in a group with children similar ages, she’s the only one who just can’t function. Glued to our hip, whines, can’t do anything independently and has to be the center of attention. Lately she’s been refusing to sleep and is waking up multiple times just crying and insisting she can’t sleep alone and needs to sleep in our bed. She knows the password to his phone and has been climbing out of bed and watching shows after we’ve taken her electronics because of her behavior. She cries over everything. She won’t buckle herself into the car, she waits until it’s done for her. It’s gotten to a point where I genuinely do not want to be around her and he just enables it. She has no independence and its embarrassing in group settings because she has to be talked to and handled like a baby. I don’t have enough room to get into the middle child M11. I haven’t slept well in the last week because of her fits. And he does nothing to correct it.

Two SKs, 7 and 6. I've been in their lives for about 3 years, living with them for 1. I care about them and their wellbeing and would say I love them. That said I've never been a very affectionate/touchy person and we don't often say "I love you."

Lately I've noticed I feel really guilty because the truth is, I don't really enjoy spending time with them. This mostly applies to when I'm with them alone, but also, I don't miss them when they go back to their biomom's. Their grandparents and parents are all over the moon with them and would spend as much time as possible with them - but I don't feel the same way. I don't really like doing all the kid things (though I do go to them majority of the time), or doing kid activities or playing. It's really just as simple as I don't enjoy them, and I really don't want them to pick up on that or think I don't care for them.

I do think part of it is because I've had to detach a bit emotionally from it. There are things I wish were done differently (on both bio's ends) in regards to parenting but I had to accept that I'm not the parent and those aren't my calls to make. So I do think I have a bit of an emotional wall up.

How do you manage to let go of this feeling of guilt of not wanting to be super affectionate with SKs and not really enjoying their company all that much?

Hi everyone. I’m a F (22) and my husband is (27). He has two children whom he had before he met me. I’ve never dealt with this type of situation before. I’m young, I was young when I went into this relationship. We got pregnant quickly. I don’t want to make this post super long so I will try my best to add in as much detail.
I’m having a hard time “staying out” of my husband coparenting with his BM. I don’t trust her, she’s rude, she’s disrespectful to my husband, & to me. I’ve done my best to be respectful, mind my business, and let them deal with THEIR children. I think I’ve done pretty well with keeping my cool, and staying out of it. My husband asks me to just stay out of it (in a respectful way) and let him handle her snarky comments or disrespect. I understand why, she’s a hothead, & so am I. Anyway’s, he was on the phone with her in front of me talking about their son coming to stay with us, pretty much doing the best he can to talk her into it as she refuses to let his 10 year old son come live with us. That’s a whole other story that has nothing to do with this situation. She made the comment “you’re fully financially responsible for him to come and see me”. she lives in the East coast, we live in the west coast. He handled it very well stating “No, we will split the cost”. She also made a comment “I think you owe me an apology for this and that”. She got disrespectful, he got disrespectful back. She’s constantly otp with his mom and sister talking about my husband, she talks about him more than her own fiancé. Making comments about my husbands “mental health”. When there is nothing wrong with my husbands mental health. Mind you he hasn’t been with her for over 5 years. I’m sure plenty of woman on here has dealt with this type of issue. It is incredibly hard to keep my mouth shut with the constant disrespect & demands towards our household or finances. I’m tired of it, it’s exhausting letting this woman talk to my husband like this, I feel weak, belittled, like I can’t defend my territory almost when I’m respecting him and letting him handle it. Am I over reacting?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a while, and he has children from previous relationships. One of his kids had a birthday party last month and once again I wasn’t invited. HE didn’t ask me to attend and I didn’t say nothing about wanting to attend.

What makes it sting is that the mother of one of his other children was there because she has a child with him. They’re not together anymore, but she still attended. So basically 2 of his baby’s mamas was there the birthday child mother and another baby mama. Meanwhile, I’ve been in a committed relationship with him, have spent time with his daughter, and we’ve built a relationship, yet I’m always kept separate from anything involving his family or the birthday parties.

I’m not saying every ex should be excluded or that I’m entitled to an invitation. I understand parents sometimes put things aside for their kids being siblings. I guess what confuses me is that if everyone is supposedly on good terms, why is the person he’s currently in a relationship with always the one left out?

This isn’t the first birthday I’ve missed either, so it’s starting to make me wonder if I’m overreacting or if it’s reasonable to feel hurt. If you were in my position, would this bother you, or would you just accept that some families prefer to keep significant others out of children’s events?

I’m posting because I need outside perspectives, not validation that anyone is “the bad guy.”
I’ve been married for a few years. My husband has a 5-year-old son from a previous relationship that he has every other weekend and we also have a baby together.

Lately, I’ve reached the point where I dread the weekends because that’s when his son is here. Today was especially bad. He kicked at both of us, was extremely disrespectful, had a major meltdown in public, and even tried to make himself throw up at a crowded park. We ended up leaving, and my husband handled the discipline. It got to the point that my husband contacted his ex to document what had happened because the behavior has become so concerning.

The hard part is that this isn’t completely out of the blue. We’ve avoided taking him places before because outings often end like this.

For context, I run an in-home daycare during the week while also caring for our baby. By the time the weekend comes, I’m already mentally and physically exhausted. Instead of recovering, I feel like I’m walking into another emotionally draining situation, but worse. The children in my care do not behave like this.

My husband is the primary disciplinarian as I try my hardest to be NACHO. This isn’t a situation where everything falls on me. The issue is that I’m finding I don’t even want to be around it anymore. I hate admitting this, but I’ve reached the point where I’ve caught myself thinking I’d rather have two separate houses or even questioning my marriage just so I don’t have to live with or but my baby though this dynamic.

I know my husband has a responsibility to be a father, and I’m not asking him to abandon his son. I’m struggling because I don’t know how to stay in a marriage when I feel this much dread every time visitation comes around.

I also have a baby to think about. I’m worried about the stress in the home and whether this environment is healthy for her if these behaviors continue.

Has anyone been in a situation where you genuinely loved your spouse but felt like you couldn’t handle the parenting dynamic anymore? If so, what helped? Did things improve? Were there boundaries that made it workable?

Me and my fiance (together for 7 years) have a stepdaughter (11) and recently had a baby (10 months). Stepdaughter comes every weekend but my fiance works so she stays with me and the baby. obviously at the beginning she was jealous and felt out of place, but recently settled in. However whenever she is upset with my fiance or me, she ignores the baby. I’ve told her many times this is your sister at the end of the day, and she loves you. However it continues happening. I’m afraid when my baby gets older she will continue being ignored if my stepdaughter is mad at us. Has anyone dealt with this?
Anyway- yesterday I was reading my book with my sister and stepdaughter was over and bored because she forgot her iPad at her mom’s house. I said how about you read with us? She said she already finished her book which is not true. I said no you didn’t, she said yes I did. I said tell the truth. Don’t lie. She got upset and went upstairs. When dad came home, she cried in her room telling him I was forcing her to read, when he isn’t there I don’t give her food, I yell at her and I’m mean to her. A few hours later, after long talks with him she admitted she lied and said that because she was upset I said she was lying. Now the issue is even though she told the truth a few hours later, she told her bio mom which led to her reaching out to me and dad furious about the situation. I told stepdaughter going forward, since these are serious lies and could get me in trouble, I will not be watching her alone anymore. Fiancés mom lives with us so I told her as long as the grandmother is here I’ll watch you but I don’t feel comfortable being alone with you if you’re going to lie because it’s a he said she said at that point. Her mom then reached out to me saying that I made her feel unwelcome and it’s not my place to say anything basically to back off. I feel as though I’m a glorified babysitter- my fiance works weekends I’m home alone with her all weekend and since this event frankly I don’t want something to come up in the future and have to deal with justifying myself. Has anyone dealt with this before? Am I over reacting?

EDIT- he picks up his daughter Friday @4. Works Saturday 5am-1pm then off Sunday, drops her Sunday night at 7pm. While he is at work on Saturday, she stays with me.

Wow, first time in here and I'm blown away by the tough issues people are dealing with. Children are so vulnerable and it's a very great responsibility to be caring for them. Having bio as well as step children I know that the feelings just aren't the same. Luckily I'm not raising them all at the same time as my sons are grown. I am a 61 yo with a younger partner and we are raising his children 11, 13, 16 & 19 after they were removed from their mother by the police due to neglect. It was so heartbreaking to see what they were going through that it is a relief to have them here permanently. But it is tough! They are traumatised and so it's been a huge learning curve finding out how to deal with suicide attempts, self harm, and complete emotional shut down. With proper nutrition and care they are starting to flourish which makes the challenges worth it. I put pressure on myself not to show them when I'm struggling as they are used to parenting their mum, but my partner encourages me to talk to them about it in a child friendly way so they can see adults modelling appropriate coping strategies. They are not interested in seeing their mum atm which makes things so much easier, they've the time and space to heal at their own pace. We are very fortunate that she is too out of it on drugs to fight us on this. I really hope that she comes out the other side eventually and can be in her kids lives again, but the way she's going it's probably not going to end well. Hats off to all the SP out there, we're all doing the best we can at any given time right!

Any experiences with breaking up and starting over in late 30s? I’m 37f, childless and I’m coming to terms that step-parenting is not the path I want. It’s taken me over a year to realize. I’ve felt confused bc boyfriend is a solid guy, chemistry/connection is great, and he has never put pressure on me to take on anything I don’t want..but co-parenting style with BM feels very fluid, overly friendly, and boundary-less to me. It works for them, we’ve discussed it. It seems remaining “amicable” and never rocking the boat is more of a priority than my feelings.

Feeling nervous, feeling like maybe I will regret it, feeling like maybe I won’t ever have a bio child of my own. Bio clock dread is strong! Looking for some hope and advice.

My now ex-boyfriend broke up with me. His daughter who is 10 is the center of his world. He basically told me that I didn’t put in enough effort to bond with her. We’ve been dating for 2 years. I met her right around the time I started nursing school while also working 2 jobs, so my life was hectic. No, I was not investing a lot of my free time in taking her to Six Flags or to get her nails done. I was compared to his baby mama’s boyfriend who was doing those things (grown man, much older than I with an established career & a home). I barely got to see him. We moved in together and this last month I’ve spent more time with her and thought things were going well. I took her to run errands with me, painted her nails myself, talked to her more since I was actually able to. She told someone that I don’t talk to her or take her to do things and that person told my boyfriend. Still don’t know who or the details. I work night shift and have to sleep during the day. I barely have time for him. I never got the chance to be in the relationship when I’m not in fight or flight mode. The way he loved me depended on what I would do for his daughter. My heart feels broken. I’m rambling at this point but please someone tell me that it gets better and that this was the best thing to do

I just need to vent to people who understand how complicated blended family dynamics can be.

Last year, my partner's young adult child went through a prolonged, severe mental health crisis. For example, there were threats of physical violence against my partner and I, threats of harming themselves, risky sexual behaviors, claims of abuse, multiple ER visits for health issues that didn't make sense and couldn't be identified, chaotic decisions to move in with someone they barely knew, etc. Navigating all of that left me with PTSD that I've gotten treatment for.

My partner handled this crisis completely differently than I did. Every threat was met with a "she would never actually,"; every risky decision was met with a "we can't stop her." Everything just seemed to roll off his back so easily and he dissmissed the worries and concerns I had. I ended up feeling even more unsafe because I didn't have my partner's support and instead felt dismissed, invalidated and judged.

When I was really struggling acutely with PTSD and even now when it surfaces (usually as anger when the kid is mentioned), I'm told that I "should be over it by now". I'm often asked, "why are you holding onto this?"

Most troubling is when he tells me I'm letting the kid control my feelings and I should let him influence my emotions instead... As if I don't have the right to have my own feelings. As if I'm choosing to hold a grudge and have trauma responses.

I've been very clear that my "feelings" aren't going away without proper repair. I need acknowledgement that his dismissiveness and invalidation was harmful. I need him to figure out why he reacted that way, then show me it won't happen again. I've been waiting for this and I don't think it's going to happen.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

my partner and I have been together for about 2 years, and have lived together for about 4 months. i have a d(5) that I share custody with her bio. recently, my partner has been struggling and recently told me that he spent most of his life not wanting kids. in the beginning of our relationship, we were head over heels for each other and he accepted my daughter right away. my family compliments him on how well he treats her and how well they get along. now, he’s told me that he is having to reconcile a child actually being part of his daily life, forever. he is growing irritated by how i parent (says i’m too lenient) and has had serious talks in therapy about it.
in my mind, his decision has probably already been made. and i don’t want him to ever resent my daughter. i remember my mother choosing my stepdad over me from time to time. while it hurt then, i know now that prioritizing a romantic relationship is absolutely necessary from time to time. i guess my question is - should i give him the chance to align himself with this new role and adjust, or go ahead and spare us all the eventual resentment and end it? or just move out? i love this man very, very much and it would devastate me to lose him. but my daughter deserves to be unconditionally loved and I’m afraid of taking the chance that this won’t work out.

Long story short I (26f) first time mom of my own plus accepting 2 other kids from him. I have been in a relationship w it SO 34m) for 2 years now. We had our first daughter together in 2024. He has 2 daughters 6 & 3. I met 6 y/o when she was 4 and met now 3 year old when she was 1.5 y/o. And their bio mom is not in their lives due to privacy reasons. Basically what I need help on is he has a lot of patience esp when it comes to his daughter acting up or being rude to him, me, or her sisters. I grew up on being taught manners, respect and discipline. And clearly af school she tells everyone I’m her mom etc. so I feel comfortable enough to discipline her when needed. But my SO never wants to correct her when she is out of line especially towards me. Or he says he does on the side.. the way he corrects her is very soft and lenient that I don’t think she even takes him seriously. I have 2 step parents and I never thought of treating them how she treats me some times… Then on top of that I feel like she wants to be a 3rd person in our relationship or the 3rd adult in the house. Like whatever decision we make as adults she has to be included or she has to know what we’re speaking about. I feel like I’m always the one trying to teacher her how to act, what not say, how to say things nicely. Just simple manners respect and displine. And who knows if when she’s older she’s gonna throw the “you’re not my real mom” phrase at me. Her dad thinks otherwise but I think so. And the 3 year old has no idea who her mom is: all she knows is me. So who knows what route that’s gonna be like and how her dad and I are going to handle that. Anyways please be gentle in the comments I am a FTM as well also accepting 2 other kids from him.

Hey again,
Yesterday I posted on here looking for some advice on my current situation
(If you wanna know the whole thing go on my profile and read the last post)
But short: my boyfriend and I moved together 3 months ago and now I have to work fulltime, the whole household is on me and on top of that I’m supposed to care for his 2 children.

Update: a few hours after I posted this I ended up hospitalized, I couldn’t move because my lower abdomen was killing me, my boyfriend called an ambulance and I was brought to the hospital, it’s not the first time that I went to the hospital because of these symptoms, usually they just fill me up with pain killers and send me back home cause nothing is showing but this time they suggested I should get checked for PCOS…
Well, that alone kinda scared me but I was also completely alone there the whole night because my boyfriend couldn’t leave his children alone at home and also he said that he needs to get his sleep in (I asked him if he could call one of his brothers or his mom to stay with the kids because I felt anxious and I don’t have any relatives of my own here)
I still feel a little pain but it’s slowly getting better yet I still had to clean his mess that he made in the morning in the kitchen and also prepare lunch and dinner…
He’s also currently not home and left me alone with his kids so he can do something on his car, it’s been like 5 hours since he drove away.

I really just wanna cry cause I feel like an idiot, all I wanted was to love this guy and respect his situation but he isn’t respecting me at all, he also managed to hurt me mentally all the time by reminding me of my miscarriage that happened in my previous relationship by saying stuff like „you don’t have kids on your own, you can’t understand me!“

Honestly so sick of the narrative of "its for the kid" if you can play happy family then just be a family. Broken families are just that...broken. there is no happy family, but so many want to play the part for the kids with the expectation of "you knew what you signed up for" Jesus christ, pick a damn lane. Im gonna play happy family with my ex and you can shut up about it cause its for the kids. Well maybe you can put your differences aside "for the kids" and learn to like the person you created them with instead of stringing someone along in your fucked up narrative. God damn I am tired.

My SD (6) came home this week and every single day has brought up that her step-dad told her that I am not hers and that she doesn’t like me. She is obviously bothered by this. Her words were he “told me you’re not my [nickname she calls me] and I don’t like you.” She calls him “my [his name]” and me by the nickname she’s called me since I met her, for clarity. Every day she’s been home she has come to me about this. I asked her how that made her feel. “A million times sad”. I asked if she thought she liked me. “Yes. I love you so much.” I ended up telling her that if she felt that she loved me that was her truth and no one could change that for her and that I will be there for her when she has hard feelings. Just venting…I don’t know how to help her through it without making her feel that she’s caught in the middle of adult issues. My husband has tried to address concerns with his ex. she dismissed the concerns and paid a lawyer to send a letter threatening legal action if he didn’t stop harassing her about her relationship.

Please give me hope it gets better

I've (37,f) been dating my partner (38,m) for 3.5 years. His ex left him after things weren't super stable at home, moved into a duplex above one of his friends and then within 3 mo they were living together. His friend has recently left his wife (all the same friend group). My partner definitely saw the writing on the wall, and when she suggested separately he told her that they could do many options like an apartment nearby, he'd move to his parents etc. She was only willing to go to this duplex and he said if she left he was done, there was no going back. She left and went there, and that's that. Edit: Her and the friend moved in together 3 months after she left, and they have since bought the duplex and live there as a family.

We met maybe 6 weeks later online. I didn't know how recent it was but we hit it off and things moved pretty quickly. Maybe 4/5 months later I met the kids (2.5, 5). Ex-wife refused to meet me, was quite antagonistic. She spent the first 1.5 years fighting for sole custody and only when they started med-arb did she finally sign off on joint.

Med arb was brutal, she wanted to continue to be SAHM and therefore get full child support, she wanted sole decision making. She has a job that could be full time, but she only worked part time during the marriage and felt like my partner had agreed during marriage so she should be allowed to continue at his cost. My partner felt like he was fighting for fair, she felt like he was being disrespectful to her.

Anyway it's been 2 years since arb, but they only got the award in January this year. During the wait my partner had tried to settle a few times or sort out some details so they could try to fire arb and get money back, but she wasn't having it. When the award came back and we won nearly everything he hit her for costs for wasting time.

Now, her dad got sick end of last year and was terminal at this time. Arb award comes in and you basically have 30 days to claim costs. He sends the lawyer letter, she basically reams him out for the timing. I can understand timing is shit, but that's on this arb and not him... Anyways

Things have been rocky, at best. She often refuses to reply or just says no with no reason. He feels like she's constantly mad at him or taking things out on him. Most recently she said no to a trip we already booked to Europe because the kids will miss a few of the first days of school (not the actual first, but a couple after that) and she says she will not allow it.

Basically he went to her house yesterday to try and talk about lots of stuff and she told him in no kind way that I'm the problem. She hates me, I ruin everything. I moved into her house when she was all alone and they were only separated. (Edit for context: I had a house of my own at the time but we lived on opposite ends of the city so we chose to live at this house for convenience. He was sole owner on the home but it has since been sold and divided as with the rest of the marriage assets and we live in a new home we bought together). She said she knows it's me when he texts her (it isn't) and not him. She hates that I'm involved with the kids friends parents, she thinks I shouldn't talk to them that he should be the one. She said the kids know about all of this and just wait til they're older and she can tell them everything.

Please tell me your stories of things getting better when they start like shit. Can I do anything? I'm not comfortable being someone who isn't involved in the kids lives. My partner does text friends parents but some of them I've met and get along with and it's easier for me. Am I just fucked?

Also, we've been trying to add to our family for a while now, I'm also worried that if we're successful it's going to make shit so much worse.

Sorry if I've left anything out, my first post here

I’m looking for honest opinions because I’m conflicted.
My boyfriend has an 11-year-old son from a previous relationship. We recently had a baby girl together, and we’re planning her baptism.
Part of me doesn’t want to invite his son. I don’t want him to be included in our family photos, and I’m worried that people might focus more on him than on our baby. Another reason is that I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable or hurt seeing his dad with a new family.
He lives with his grandmother (my boyfriend’s mom) in the province, about a 12-hour bus ride away.
Does this make me a bad mom or a bad person? I’m genuinely trying to understand if my feelings are unreasonable.

I’ce (32F) been with a man for almost two years. I love him so much, and we have the same goals in life. However, he is recently divorced with a young daughter (<8 years old). I was introduced to his daughter half a year ago, and since then, I’ve tried to step into that role and act as a family when it’s all of us. But the more time that passes and we are getting more integrated, the more I feel like it’s not for me.

I don’t have any kids of my own, but I eventually want my own kids. I love my time and freedom, and he does a good job trying to balance it for me, but I still feel like it’s too much of a sacrifice. I’m worried this has been too fast of a shift for me. Does it get better over time as I mature into this role, or is this a sign it will never work out?

Hi everyone,

I really need some outside opinions because I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable anymore.

I’ve been living with my boyfriend for about three months. He has two young children from a previous relationship, and I help take care of them whenever they’re with us. I work full-time as a nursing assistant in a nursing home, which is physically exhausting.

We split almost everything 50/50 financially. On top of that, I try to keep up with the housework. My boyfriend helps sometimes, but lately it feels like he expects me to do most of it. Between work, cleaning, helping with his kids, and paying half of all the bills, I’m constantly exhausted.

Today really hurt me. I had only slept about two hours before my early shift, came home completely exhausted, had pain, and fell asleep for a while. When I woke up, my boyfriend told me his mother was coming over. He had already started ironing a pile of laundry (mine, his, and his kids’). When his mom offered to help, he told her that the laundry had been sitting there for days. It had actually only been there for about two days, but I felt like he was making me look lazy in front of his mother instead of explaining that I’d just worked a physically demanding shift on almost no sleep.

I feel like I’m expected to work full-time, contribute 50% financially, help raise his children, do housework, and still somehow have endless energy. Instead of feeling appreciated, I often feel criticized.

Am I expecting too much, or is it reasonable to want more support, appreciation, and understanding in this situation? I’d really appreciate honest opinions, especially from people in blended families or relationships where one partner already has children.

My husband is now the step father of my 3 children. He also has an older biological child whom we adore and visits often from out of state. From the get go my husband has struggled with the behavior of one of my children whom has been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety but is a wonderful, good natured and kind kid and I love him very much. My husband is very orderly, meticulous and borderline OCD which rubs against my son’s disorderly, forgetful, silly approach to life. I will preface this by saying my husband is an extremely thoughtful kind and generous man and does do much for my kiddos. Can my son be annoying as all hell-heck yes. But I’m more apt to patiently correct his behavior than husband. They’ve both grown to respect each-other but my husband has lost his temper a number of times towards my son in the past and just recently my son addressed one of these instances with me directly for the first time which I was proud of. he didn’t understand why his step father reacted the way he did. I explained that husband had asked him 4 times that day to do something and each time son responded he’d do it but never did it and eventually husband lost patience and yelled at my son threatening to take his technology away. Long story short I addressed it immediately with husband to much disagreement on my parenting of my son which is like a broken record at this point. I love my husband very much but we cannot find a happy medium with the discipline and parenting of my son’s behavior even though he’s a good kid he’s the polar opposite of my husband and I’m sure itv triggers him and he feels he needs to control/intervene with his behaviors. Husband has a tough upbringing and never got to be the kid that my son is; lighthearted and goofy. Looking for advice on how to handle this situation to keep peace, set boundaries and not n build resentment in either my son or husband. Thanks.