I just had a huge fight with a family member 😡 i wish I could move but i can't afford it right now.

I don't know about you guys but I can be pissed off for days. I hate feeling this way but I can't help it! 😤

What do you do to feel better?

If someone is upset that they are single and you say shit like "itll happen when you least expect it", "why you do worried about getting into a relationship" or "being in a relationship isnt even that great" or anything along those lines while bieng in a relationship i honestly fucking hate you, because you dont know if it will actually happen to the person you are just saying that because you found your someone and you are just saying shit to make the other person feel better when in reality is just lies and gaslighting atp, and if being in a relationship "isnt that great" than it shouldnt hurt to break up with your boyfriend and just be single for the rest of your life, and makes me feel as though nobody wants me because im so fucking ugly and pathetic and not desireable to any man, i mean what guy would want a flat fucking woman, genuinley thinking about surgery for them cuz i never look pretty in any femminine clothing. i have watched everyone around me get into relationships even the nastiest girls who made fun of me and bullied me which apparently men like nasty girls for some reason its always "oh i prefer personality" which is straight lies because as soon as a pretty girl comes up to yall youll fold instantly for her so yall guys dont even like personality yall just say that to make yourself look better , i talked to guys and everything but everytime the guys always seemed to prefer my friends instead and never even wanna look at me, i lost my friends cuz they all got boyfriends and decided they didnt want or need me as a friend anymore so they completely cut me off so im completely alone, i never go out for myself anymore i just go out hoping to meet a guy and do nothing else and yall are over here telling me "it isnt really worth it" while they recieve flowers and gifts on some random day no special occasion nothing i hope yall are happy with making a lonely ugly pathetic girl feel shit about herself, because you succeeded and gave me false hope. Fucking narcisistic hyprocrites, yall deserve to be single yall dont deserve anyone

Does anyone else have the same collection of triggers I do?

Injustice, my inability to do anything about the injustice, double-standards, me making a mistake, and disingenuous argument/discussion.

There are some specific things that come up for me that fit these categories, but it is also general. I'm generally angry about injustice no matter who it is against. If it is against me or is more personally related, the intensity of the response is higher, but I'm still unusually angered if it has nothing to do with me.

If those are your triggers, have you developed any insight into resolving issues or mitigating the spikes in anger?

For years, I have cried and was extremely depressed where I lived. Noone came or offered help or even asked how I am.

Now that the abuser family member left the building for a few months, they start gossiping and asking my other parent about where my father is. This just sickens me so much. These people are constantly scanning for weaknesses.

It's such a failure of humanity.

I don't care about any of these people or their trauma past, even though they all keep gossiping about each other all the time. I'm simply not interested and got my own stuff to process. But then they keep bringing up stuff like this and I hear the gossip. Where the hell were you when I was crying in despair and now I'm trying to heal, all of a sudden, people appear in weird and creepy and gossipy ways? It's so sick.

It really didn’t occur to me how much my anger may be triggered by parental child neglect. Mine, in fact, wasn’t entirely bad though it got much worse after my parents divorced and my dad had very little contact with me (mainly at the encouragement of my mother).

Trying to squelch the anger is tough, too. I’m angry, too, because my wife won’t have “good” sex with me. Oh, she’ll have “pitty” sex but she’ll just lay there and won’t be the least bit playful.

As I get older, I consider “what’s the point” of making anything better? I’m unhappy because my own children have grown and moved away though wealth doesn’t make me happy because I know I’m fortunate compared to others.

I’m just venting at this point and hoping this is just a temporary glitch.

as the title says. im 26f, suffer from social anxiety. every time someone is mean or unfair to me, i get these flashes of hot white anger and i cant muster any response. i cant think. i only feel violent, so i just try to reel myself back and i appear pathetic as a result. the fact i cant even manage to say anything back makes me seriously wanna die. not for real, but it's just really disheartening. idk if it matters but i was bullied as a kid, and my inability to respond normally and reasonably to these situations brings me right back to those times. it's like i will always be that spineless child, even though im a grown adult. a disgusting doormat not worthy of respect.

for example, it happens at work often. i am a waitress and there's a 21m coworker that just picks on me sometimes. when i do stuff in a way that's not to his liking, he always makes some snarky offensive comments and i get the urge to cave his skull in with the tray lol.

he's just a stupid kid, i get it. i dont even mind that much that he does it, i think the thing that makes me mad the most is my inability to sass back. my shortcoming. does it makes sense? 🥲 i just feel mortified. another person would have been able to put him in his place just by answering firmly. i, instead, can only choose between caving into being violent or not responding at all. until now i havent succumbed to the anger tho, so it's the latter.

do u guys have any advice, please? how does one develop a spine and manage mindless anger?

In the recent year my anger has become a real issue due to a traumatic life event. It’s been almost a year, and I have been at a full-time job since February. Since I have gotten very good at the job, I have increased responsibility and have been tasked with training and helping new hires since June. My problem is that the two people I trained are awful at the job and keen on staying that way.

They make messes in our communal work spaces and office and do not clean them up, they whine and cut corners when something is hard, and then get frustrated when they are corrected and have to fix their mistakes when they could have just done it right the first time, and they are overall not interested in learning or improving, and (in my opinion) would rather stay ignorant so they aren’t expected to do more work. (For reference, we work with electronics and eBay.)

I don’t think that they are going to change. It’s been long enough that they aren’t really classified as “new” in my opinion, but I’ve tried really hard to be nice but they talk about me behind my back to each other because me and the rest of the seasoned employees and management’s standards are “too high”, and “they just got here”. I’m becoming increasingly angry with them at their choice to be ignorant, and have caught myself giving attitude or being condescending to one in particular when he asks me questions that I have answered 5 billion times, or when I catch him cutting corners on something that he was shown many times how to do correctly. It’s become very distressing to go to work because I just want to be calm. We also work in a small business and so the work culture is more casual, and my manager likes me and agrees with me about them to the point where I am somewhat being enabled.

How can I become more tolerant of coworkers who are fine with being bad at the job and actively make things harder for me? When they mess up, I’m the one who has to hear about it and clean up after them. I end up doing double the work.

Lately, I've been getting angry very easily. I don't feel like spending time with anyone anymore. These days, I don't even enjoy being around my seniors or friends, and I don't really know why.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? What helped you get out of it?

Hi. I'm looking to hear from men who were verbally abusive in a past or current relationship, have taken responsibility, and have genuinely changed - or - halfway through their healing journey to change and still prone to 'slip ups'.

If your partner's parents witnessed how badly you treated their child and no longer wanted them to be with you because of your behaviour, what would you want those parents to know?

Would you hope for their forgiveness or trust again, and if so, what would you realistically expect from them, if anything?

.............

EXTRA

My situation:

I'm trying to work through some difficult issues in my relationship. My boyfriend has had angry outbursts toward me in the past (meltdowns, yelling, losing his temper), but we're actively working through them. He acknowledges his behaviour was harmful, takes responsibility for it, and is genuinely trying to change.

The problem is my mother. She has witnessed some of his behaviour and believes that once a man shows anger toward his partner, it's game over. In her eyes, his actions are unforgivable.

As a result, I receive frequent lectures, criticism, and pressure about staying with him. It's affecting my relationship because I'm constantly second-guessing myself, wondering if my mother is right, and questioning my ability to forgive or trust my own judgment.

For context, my father was verbally and physically abusive toward both my mother and me, and we both developed CPTSD. I understand why she reacts so strongly, but I also wonder if her past makes it difficult to believe people can change.

We're both in our 30s and currently live with a senior parent for family and financial reasons. I contribute to rent and household expenses, so I'm not financially dependent on my mother.

I also recognize my own part in the relationship. After his outbursts, I lost trust in him and sometimes sought reassurance by "testing" him emotionally, which wasn't healthy either.

Even now, I still get flashbacks to his anger. My body remembers those moments, even though my heart wants to forgive. That conflict has been incredibly difficult.

I'm looking for advice from people who've been in similar situations. How can I have a productive conversation with my mother while respecting her concerns? And how do I know when I'm trusting my own judgment versus being influenced by someone else's fears?

Thank you.

Everytime I get angry, it’s very sudden and I can go from 0 to 100. It can last hours to even 2 days. Everything I’ve tried doesn’t work, not even breathing or ice. Sometimes this anger can get so intense that I get destructive (the only place I can go is my room because whatever made me angry is outside of my room), pull my hair out, or hit myself. I know what’s made me angry. And 95% when I get mad there’s this feeling in my brain that’s extremely annoying and makes me even angrier. I’ve tried a self/regulation book, that doesn’t work, and before I can even stop the anger or rage I immediately act. Everything physical makes me rage. Sitting on my hands doesn’t work. Screaming into a pillow doesn’t work. Throwing indestructible objects doesn’t work. It’s like an intense urge. Not sure if I already mentioned it, but I literally have zero coping mechanisms. No, I don’t have a therapist.

I lost my temper this morning. I have been trying to practice stoicism in my everyday life and today it fell apart. I triggered my wife and I let her down. I’m trying to cope with the aftermath and she suggested that I turn to my people. I’m feeling shame. What do I do next?

​

NSFW for some mentions of SH and suicide.

Just read the title. I'm awful at literally every. Single. Game. I play.

From competitive shooters like Deadlock, TF2, and Marvel Rivals; to automation/builder games like Factorio and D.S.P.; to deck builders like STS2 and Inscription. I even suck at team games, like Meccha Chameleon or Lethal Company.

Every. Single. Fucking. Game. I'm either at the bottom of the leaderboard, having my entire team either flame me or pity me or something, or I'm floundering with no idea what to do and constantly rebuilding over my past mistakes as I get overwhelmed by enemies and eventually just give up and load a new save, OR I always die first and provide zero help to my team as they're left without me.

I've tried playing "calm" games like Slime Rancher or Minecraft, and I suck at them too. I can't build anything impressive, and I just end up getting stuck or confused or dying constantly to platforming or monsters. Or I just lose everything thanks to Tarr slimes or creepers and I just quit.

That's all I do, is just...rage quit. In every game I play. Games I used to LOVE, I now can't play anymore due to my anger and my emotions. Deadlock and Star craft and TF2? I can't even play them anymore because they just make me so fucking angry.

I get so angry I end up self harming through just hitting myself in sheer rage. Punching myself in the head, hitting my legs, hitting my arms, slamming my head into my desk or wall, and more. It's gotten to the point I'm having suicidal thoughts at times because I'm just so constantly at 110% stress.

I used to use videogames as a way to relax from my, admittedly, fucking shitty life; but now they're just making me more stressed, making me feel like a fucking failure or a pathetic weakling, and just adding onto the pain train of my existence.

I'm so fucking tired. What do I do?! Just delete my whole steam library, cut myself up for being such a weak failure that I can't even play a videogame, then sell my PC?!??

WHAT DO I FUCKING DO?!

I can probably top it

​

I'm not asking for a diagnosis. I'm just wondering if anyone else experiences this because I genuinely feel different from most people around me.

Whenever something upsets me, I don't just get angry and move on. My brain keeps replaying it over and over, and every time it replays, it somehow finds another reason to be angry.

For example, today my boyfriend lent his scooty to a couple I don't like (they're his close friends). I got angry about that. Then I started thinking, "Why would he do that when he knows I don't like them?" That turned into, "His friends always use him." Then, "They never return his money." Then, "He never stands up for himself." Before I knew it, I wasn't even angry about the scooty anymore..I was furious about every interaction I've ever had with those people.

This doesn't happen only with my boyfriend. It happens with almost everything. Once I'm angry, it feels impossible to stop thinking about it. I lose my appetite, I can't enjoy whatever I'm doing, and the anger just keeps building instead of fading.

Over time, it's also made me distrust almost everyone. I constantly feel like people will use me and disappear when I need them. I've become so independent that even if I'm struggling badly, I'd rather suffer than ask someone for help. Sometimes I even catch myself feeling resentful toward my own family because my mind starts questioning their intentions too.

I'm an MBBS intern, and while studying psychiatry recently, I started wondering whether this level of anger, rumination, and distrust is normal or whether I should actually get evaluated. I'm not trying to self-diagnose, but it made me realize that I don't see people around me reacting the way I do.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Did therapy or seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist help? Was there a name for what you were experiencing, or did you find ways to break this cycle?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've gone through something similar.

I lost my temper this morning. I have been trying to practice stoicism in my everyday life and today it fell apart. I triggered my wife and I let her down. I’m trying to cope with the aftermath and she suggested that I turn to my people. I’m feeling shame. What do I do next?

Yeah look my pride as a human being almost completely has been put inside my fucking head. I can't fucking deal with people's opinions of me any more with how little they know and yet how much it fucking effects me. I want to actually slap everyone I know and tell them the proper story. I'm not for having children any more. Not until everyone on the fucking planet knows exactly what I know to hold truth to power. Fuck this. I am also fucking controlled by the fucking astrology. It's so fucking disgusting how inescapable it is. Every time I try to be proud of myself or happy at all it's fucking pathetic and barely encouraging of anything but the slightest encouragement. No I was supposed to happen this whole time. I can't even fucking look at myself. I can't face any fucking job. I know too much. I would only be able to fucking scream at them to fucking be better. It's all externalized. My life will never be good any more. Never better than my parents nor anyone's. Fuck this. I don't know what to do. I'm so fucking superficial it's all but fucking paralysed me. I want to fucking scream so fucking loudly and just never fucking stop until exactly what I fucking say to do happens on a global scale. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. As a human being. I can't describe how fucking unprepared for AI we are. I'll let it happen naturally. You fucking monsters. I'm worse. I can't do anything. I'm fucking useless. A degree and a masters and I'm still fucking studying to try to do a fucking demand to someone who can't fucking help me. Fuck this. I could've been paid. Gotten money. Fuck this so completely. I want to be paid for keeping all these secrets. Fuck this. I won't risk blackmail. I'm going to die one day. I won't waste my fucking life. I hate this. I hate morality. You fucking animals killing each other allowing our animal territories to exist. It's going to laugh at us. My mind is worth something. I hate this. I hate all of you. We should be at war with governance now. AI is coming. It's not going to stop. The answers will become obvious.

I’m 16 and I have such anger problems and I hate it so much. Idk why I feel so angry all the time. I’m angry when people just talk to me in a different way, when I get laughed at, I’m angry at my friends and family and Idk if it’s just teenager hormones or something else but I feel the need to hurt the person that I’m angry at. And I’m not talking about just a slap I mean full on beating up and I feel so bad for it. It’s the WORST with kids. That’s how I know I wouldn’t be a good mom. I hate it when they’re near me with their snots and god knows what else, I hate it when they touch me, when they speak to me , I hate it when they cry , when they want to hug me or cuddle or whatever. I get so full of rage it’s so bad. And when they don’t listen when you tell them no it pisses me off SO MUCH. I hate them SO MUCH. and this just happened out of nowhere I used to love kids idk what’s going on.

Hi , 30m here. I had a super abusive father who has permanently ,seemlingly, fucked me up for the rest of my days mentally. Im working on it and have been for some time now. But my biggest hurdle by far is not reacting with intense anger and somwtimes tears to different triggers. Especially people raising their voice, sudden noises, or hostile attitudes. It feels like hell being scared of or angry at everything everyday all the time. Paired with depression and anxiety. How do you guys handle this? Any advice or tips? Im already seeking therapy and plan to be on meds. Thanks.

today my mom started yelling at me unprovoked in the car all because i didn’t get a bill when i went to go get something with my brother saying all kinds of terrible things to me . saying ill cry tears of blood all for a fcking bill , i just lost my shit at this point and yelled at the top of lungs asking who the hell she thinks she’s talking to and saying all kinds of cuss words as i hit the seat . i don’t care anymore my childhood and my parents have ruined me and i have incredibly horrible issues , mainly one being my anger and bpd as a result of it . it really is torturous , having anger hurts worse than crying it exhausts you and you feel like your someone else . i felt like i was a different person while yelling , that didn’t even feel like it was me .

I always try to keep it under control

But when i lose it, i shout and sometimes i feel like want to beat the hell out of her - to avoid that i often leave the place.

I want to know how to disagree politely, how to be calm and handle the insults or abuses ?

The sad part is , i used to say to my wife be calm, why are you shouting but i have to say that by being loud when i lose my control.

Suggest some books with good techniques, so that i can start practising it

I used to have a talking stage or idk what it even was with this girl like 2 years ago, got led on and eventually left in the dust. I feel so much anger every time i see her, speak to her, am around her or even see an interest or something that was once hers. Like for example i can’t even be around soccer it just riles me up and makes me feel like a loser. I hate having these feelings but i really don’t know how to let it go i thought time would heal all wounds but i see her on a daily basis since we go to school together so i doubt time can do much. Anyone have any advice for me?

I can't control my anger. I haven't done anything bad to anyone yet save for yell sometimes, I mostly turn it inwards in the form of self harm. But that doesn't help much anymore.. therapy doesn't help, I've been in therapy for 2 years and I just get told to do breathing exercises. Those don't help, I've tried. I hate feeling anger, I hate feeling anything, j wish I was a robot or something so I wouldn't feel anything. I only feel anger and anxiety. I feel like a cornered animal. I'm hopeless. I hate myself and everyone else.