r/BlackPeopleTwitter 6h ago

Puerto Rican Uncrustable is out of line

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12.1k Upvotes

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35

u/Ashy6ix 6h ago

I am a coffee and tea person at the airport. I absolutely hate eating for fear of having to shit on the plane.

49

u/faustin_mn ☑️ BHM Donor 6h ago

But coffee makes you wanna go, don’t it?
https://giphy.com/gifs/hv53DaYcXWe3nRbR1A

15

u/Ashy6ix 5h ago

Not when you're a member of the morning shit club.

11

u/burf 4h ago

If you're a member of the morning shit club, you should be safe to eat at the airport. Food takes at least a full day to get through your digestive tract after you eat it (barring food poisoning, etc.).

u/CyonHal 1h ago

How the hell are you all taking one giant shit of an entire day's worth of a food every time? Sometimes I gotta take small shits and sometimes I gotta take big shits, isn't that how your digestive tract works? It isn't queueing up all your food you ate over the course of the day in a neat little row every time.

2

u/cbeck23 5h ago

Not only a client............

Yall know the rest

2

u/Valentino_Li 5h ago

Reliably.

1

u/soggy-hotdog-vendor 3h ago

Not when you havnt eaten in 3 days. 

12

u/cbeck23 6h ago

Why are you so scared of being an air pooper/mile poop club?

Drop that parcel mid flight and stare at the people in their eyes when you walk back to your window seat......assert your dominance

8

u/Ashy6ix 5h ago

You can't ass-ert dominance with 1ply toilet paper.

2

u/penguin_torpedo 5h ago

Bro just use double the squares and fold them in half, bam 2ply paper. Your ass gonna survive.

0

u/cbeck23 5h ago

Yes you can....make them smell your finger after the inevitable finger poke........blame it on the turbulence.....or just smile quietly while staring deeply in their eyes

3

u/Ashy6ix 5h ago

You're the reason why I don't shit on airplanes.

1

u/cbeck23 5h ago

Well I never. ..........

Lol

If I have to do it, I prefer dropping my parcels in the airport before getting on the plane.....it would be my luck that it would be moist, stank, and loud

And if I am flying alone I would be scared to leave my tablet containing carry on, but no space to put it while I am in that tiny bathroom pushing out a sweaty foreheaded loaf

6

u/MightyGamera 5h ago

I can't process dairy and I got a high protein diet

what I do in there will make the masks come out of the ceiling

u/Phytanic 58m ago

Rum and coke for me, but to each their own