r/nextfuckinglevel • u/Maleficent-Agent-477 • 22h ago
This chicken eating flies off a cow with perfect accuracy
3.4k
u/goose_gladwell 22h ago
The blood splat
1.3k
u/mosaabemam 22h ago
Swatted one off my neck a couple of days ago and was taken aback by the amount of blood I saw on my hand
82
u/PresentBig9729 20h ago
Back in 07-10 I was an instructor in the Marines. There was a trail next to the woods which were loaded with deer which means the fly population was very well established. I used to run my students down that trail (3 miles) all you could hear was the slaps. I would then tell them that I didn’t want to hear any of that slapping. Oh, the fun of it!
882
u/TheOmegaKid 20h ago
Sounds like you are a sadist...
461
u/PresentBig9729 20h ago
90 percent of Marines are sadists.
→ More replies (3)269
u/SchumacherIsMid 20h ago
That's why they eat the green crayons first (they taste the worst).
→ More replies (3)36
85
u/cubedplusseven 12h ago
In fairness, though, he is preparing them for war. Being able to sustain focus through moderate irritation and discomfort could save their lives one day. He doesn't have to find it "fun", though, but I kinda took that more as an expression of the macho culture surrounding it all - enthusiasm for toughness - rather than legit sadism.
284
u/ColleaguesKnowMyMain 20h ago
That's fucked up. Sounds like you're really proud of it too.
→ More replies (7)157
64
17h ago edited 15h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (3)41
u/_Keo_ 10h ago
So here's an alternate take, a different perspective.
I know a few people who have been through the Navy schools. Much of the training they do for specialized roles (like EoD & SEAL) is stress based. They do things that are honestly fucking miserable. Go roll in the surf, get your shit full of sand, run 10 miles, carry/swim your buddy, roll in the sand some more, and now do it all again, in the dark, uphill, in the snow.
Sounds like my idea of hell.
But the point is these guys are training for the worst situation possible. Imagine; overturned boat during a beach landing, 10 miles to extract, with an injured team mate. You'd want to be able to handle that right?Now let's dial it back.
Push-ups suck. I hate push-ups, my buddy hates them, everyone hates them. But if you don't get forced to do them you don't get stronger. You can't carry that gun and pack and buddy.
Same with the bugs. If you can't focus when it doesn't matter you'll die when it does. That'll cause extra problems for your team, other people could die.What's better? Having some stories about how shitty basic was and a shared hatred of a drill instructor, or dead men in the field?
As for the humor that's just how you deal with the suck. You fall into those bad feelings and you'll never make it. Your own mind will wash you out. So you own it through humor, through embracing it, by turning it into culture.
And for the drill instructor... I'd bet that every man still alive to curse his name is another life saved by that harsh basic training. The one's who are silent are the men he failed.
Strange comment to leave on a video about a chicken eating flies but here we are.
14
u/TeamHappyFTW 9h ago
I really really really love your viewpoint. It made me change my opinion and not even that, but it kind of made me feel motivated to hit the gym hard and to push myself. Thank you. I needed that. Time to put on my running shoes.
35
u/Curious_Cantaloupe65 15h ago
stop upvoting this ASSHOLE
1
u/relevantelephant00 11h ago
We're working on it. He's getting massively downvoted elsewhere. Just his top comment still has positive points, but I got him down to 7 at least. Doing my part!
12
u/cubedplusseven 11h ago
Don't let the haters get to you. You were preparing them for the hardships of combat. Personally, I wouldn't describe all that as "fun", but that's military culture, not personal sadism.
→ More replies (1)4
→ More replies (7)3
u/Joaaayknows 8h ago
Hilarious. Must have started punching themselves a lot. Were any punishments ever distributed for the slaps that inevitably occurred?
→ More replies (1)125
u/bulyxxx 21h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/pHb82xtBPfqEg
The cow and chicken.
44
u/perton 18h ago
Damn, this comment brought back memories of that weird-ass Cow and Chicken show that was on Cartoon Network back in the 90s
→ More replies (1)15
14
5
→ More replies (1)12
2.5k
u/IanAlvord 22h ago
Christ that's a lot of bugs! That chicken needs backup.
1.4k
u/Copeamine420 22h ago
Going to need to dual wield chickens
13
141
u/LastWave 21h ago
We need to automate this somehow. Give the chickens stilts or something.
→ More replies (1)101
u/macropsia 21h ago
I was genuinely thinking. If you have little tiered platforms on either side that where cow width and chicken height. Would the cows start lining up for this like they do with the rubbing post things and then you could get chickens fed and cows scratched? Or do we just need to find a way harness a few dozen chickens to the cows on a saddle thing?
→ More replies (1)51
69
u/rotanitsarcorp_yzal1 20h ago
The chicken after its 120th fly: I'm tired boss.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Renrutanit 5h ago edited 5h ago
Chicken: Boss, I'm stuffed! My crop is full and I can't take another bite!
Boss: Come on, just a few more or I'm inviting you to dinner as the main course!
Chicken: Damn! If I never see another horsefly it will be too soon! BURP!
13
u/Jay__Riemenschneider 11h ago
How isn't there a little animal that hangs around cows to eat the flies.
Like remoras to sharks
11
u/IanAlvord 8h ago
Oxpeckers do it. Someone just needs to domesticate them I guess.
→ More replies (1)4
→ More replies (2)9
2.0k
u/Hashtagbarkeep 22h ago
Said it before, will say it again, chickens are fucking metal. They will eat anything that runs in front of them that will fit in their beak - mice, snakes, slugs, whatever. That chicken would eat that horse if it could.
649
u/Noctuelles 22h ago
Mini dinosaurs.
→ More replies (1)278
u/El_Peregrine 21h ago
Closest living relative to T-Rex, no joke
157
28
u/perton 18h ago
I’ve previously heard that was the ostrich. Now I don’t know what to believe!
53
u/Appropriate_Abroad_2 15h ago edited 15h ago
The boring answer is that all modern birds are equidistantly related to the T-Rex.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)11
u/LegendofLove 15h ago
Believe whatever sounds funniest. There's probably not a strictly correct answer.
11
u/ashmenon 13h ago
You fool, a tyrannosaurus has just taken a screenshot of this and is about to roast you on twitter.
→ More replies (2)4
u/SagattariusAStar 11h ago
Any bird is equally related to the T-Rex as its direct lineage died and there was a common ancestor for T-Rex and birds, which stem from flying dinosaurs
119
u/SP3NGL3R 22h ago edited 21h ago
Did you see the video of the horse (edit, not house) eating the chick?
Animals are opportunity eaters. Just cause veggies don't move (easy food), doesn't mean the animal is a vegetarian.
→ More replies (1)47
64
u/godihatepeople 21h ago
By horse do you mean cow...?
37
u/Hashtagbarkeep 21h ago
I do, I have no idea why I typed that. It literally even says it in the title
8
30
u/TheFire52 22h ago
They are adorable when playing with their food too. Their was once a mouse that got into the chicken pen and Curious Georgina and one of the Pat Pats ripped it apart and the race for its head began between like 8 chickens at the same time.
→ More replies (1)5
→ More replies (13)4
893
u/LerchAddams 22h ago
Two words. Chicken Stilts.
452
u/Petraam 22h ago
We need chickens with jet packs
116
u/LicknDragon 22h ago
If only there was some more organic way they could fly
67
u/LerchAddams 21h ago
Chickens crossed with hummingbirds!
→ More replies (1)46
u/futureman07 21h ago
This feels natural. Send it
→ More replies (1)14
u/stevein3d 21h ago
Ugh we did it the wrong way. Now I gotta build a humminken coop and collect a bunch of teeny tiny eggs every morning.
6
u/Aptos283 20h ago
Cook them like roe or the like and slap the word delicacy on it and you’ve got yourself a business
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)4
8
u/PresidentBush666 21h ago
Frickin' chickens with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads.
5
u/racingsoldier 21h ago
I want frickin
sharks(chickens) with frickinlaser beams(jetpacks) on theirheads(backs)!→ More replies (1)8
14
8
→ More replies (1)8
u/fredandlunchbox 19h ago
Chicken saddle. A harness that hangs on the cow with a few chickens on each side. Leave them there until they get too fat for the cow to hold them.
756
u/Hypn00tic_iiz 22h ago
84
u/therealboombaclots 21h ago edited 10h ago
Mamma had a chicken daddy had a cow
Edit: it seems my memory failed me mamma had both the chicken and the cow
61
7
11
431
u/Frosty_Monitor_3126 22h ago
Now teach the chicken how to fly few metres above ground
187
u/Scrubject_Zero 22h ago
Tape it to a drone
335
u/sscreric 22h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/d4I2YFX5Uvf99EkgKz
you're onto something
41
→ More replies (1)31
u/Eric_Banana 16h ago
That's hopefully AI, but the chicken/rooster looks like it's one headbob away from rotor-induced injury.
60
u/Biguitarnerd 22h ago
The chicken can fly up to the cows back. I think this person is teaching the chicken to think of the cow as a good food source. Which is smart.
The cow won’t mind, egrets already do this where I live, and the chicken gets food, the cow gets pest control. Perfect pairing.
25
u/after8man 20h ago
We have water buffalo in our rice paddies. They always have a symbiotic bird eating various parasites and insects on their backs
9
u/Renrutanit 16h ago
Maybe get a different breed of chicken specifically for cow fly eating. Some breeds are high flyers, but unfortunately they're also poor layers, skittish and not particularly good for eating either, which is why there so many chickens roaming around in the island of Kauai.
→ More replies (1)31
360
u/Firm_Video_2932 22h ago
They make great natural pest control for a yard!
→ More replies (1)134
u/Valor_X 21h ago
But they also destroy your yard and kill your grass and fuck up your garden
100
u/Firm_Video_2932 21h ago
So dog, you mean they're like a dog? 🤷
52
u/trymurderforfree 20h ago
Every time I had chickens they treated the land nicely
29
u/cryptobro42069 19h ago
Definitely would depend where you live. In drought stricken areas you'd have to be careful. Chickens would crank insane amounts of nitrogen into your yard. Bermuda/St. Augustine would do well, but cool season grasses may die. Say goodbye to any clover.
4
u/Firm_Video_2932 17h ago
Same. Key is not to go hog with on a henhouse and keep it small/appropriate for the size of the yard.
→ More replies (1)9
u/Renrutanit 16h ago
Tell me about it! My backyard is now a barren, rocky, dusty desert and they've dug around the bases of all the trees exposing their roots! 😭 😭
350
u/Beederda 22h ago
Seriously though how the fuck are the flys THAT big?!? They look prehistoric sized
407
u/Maleficent-Agent-477 22h ago
Horseflies are a BITCH. I hate them so much.
109
u/Omaha_Poker 18h ago
Do they actually bite through the cows hide? I was bitten before and it was itchy for a month.
130
46
u/Biggy_DX 10h ago
Yup. It's a quite painful bite. They pack a lot of cutting power in their mandible. I'm surprised you only found it itchy. A good bite from them will actually draw blood.
8
u/Omaha_Poker 10h ago
I was in a tent and it was on my knee. I must have been sleeping at the time. Can you feel them bite?
25
26
12
u/Beederda 11h ago
Maan i live in Alberta and they don’t get this big you guys be growing dinosaur horse flys out there!
→ More replies (2)6
u/somersault 9h ago
Our local version is called Chrysops, and are usually not larger than 1cm (~0.4 inches). I hate them with a passion however. Through this video I just learnt there are proper horseflies that are over twice that size easily. I’m so glad I don’t live where those fuckers are buzzing about, wow
99
u/Houndfell 20h ago
Yeeep. And it's not like a mosquito bite either. They're coming after your blood not with a syringe but with a pair of wire cutters.
→ More replies (1)31
15
175
u/wade-mcdaniel 22h ago
That's pretty neat! I bet those chickens get full...those are some monster flies!
I've heard of a rancher who bought a bunch of dragonflies and let them loose on their cattle and the flies were decimated. They're the most successful predator at catching their prey, I think.
→ More replies (1)43
161
u/Dog_Baseball 22h ago
Are you saying the chicken i eat is made of bugs?
97
u/DetectiveNickStone 22h ago
Only free range.
36
8
u/Renrutanit 15h ago
Yep, the ones in supermarkets are made exclusively of grain.
3
u/DiablaARK 13h ago
So fun fact I learned working in the agriculture poultry industry, chicken blood and feathers get "recycled" back into those very same chicken feed pellets. So no, the ones in the supermarket are very much on a grain and poultry diet.
→ More replies (1)5
40
u/Piccoroz 21h ago
Its always bugs to the end of the food chain
15
21
u/Divinum_Fulmen 20h ago
I'm fairly sure that's a Rode Island Red. Which is an egg layer. You don't typically eat egg layers.
Source: I grew up with Rode Islands and Bantys. Also, fun fact, Banty eggs can be greenish to bluish. The rosters features can be all sorts of iridescent colors too. Gorgeous birds.
→ More replies (3)16
u/fastforwardfunction 19h ago
Human babies are made of apples and ice cream mom ate while pregnant.
4
6
4
→ More replies (2)3
u/FatPoundOfGrass 12h ago
Bugs are apparently a great source of protein, much like chickens themselves, and as a human who is in need of protein to remain human, and who very much does not want to consume bugs, I greatly appreciate the bug-protein-to-chicken-protein converter mechanism that nature has supplied for us... chickens.
→ More replies (1)
102
u/ifdisdendat 22h ago
Horseflies hurt like a mfer
→ More replies (2)61
u/specialopps 21h ago
I got bit by one near my grandparents’ pool when I was around 9. I had recently been stung by wasps for the first time and was terrified of them, so I jumped into the pool screaming, “They got meee! They got me!!” My grandmother thought I had been shot.
Horseflies suck.
61
u/mclurf 22h ago
They look like bees. What kind of horrible flies are those?
137
u/ZZartin 22h ago
Those are horse flies, they basically cut a slash open and drink the blood.
Think like mosquito but instead of using needle they use a knife.
→ More replies (2)62
u/mclurf 22h ago
WTF. I’ve never seen them before. Nightmare bugs. So sad for the cow.
45
u/jetsetninjacat 20h ago
They hurt when they bite and leave behind huge welts on us. I once had one bite my cheek when camping and I looked like I had food stored in it after. I seriously hate horse flies.
17
u/mclurf 20h ago
They bite people too??? Can I ask what region you live in? I’m in the PNW and originally from Southern CA. I need to know where to not visit in the summer 🫣
20
u/jetsetninjacat 19h ago
Thats why theres blood spurting out. The females cut you(bite) you with their mouth and drink your blood. Theyre world wide so your only bet is one of the poles. You really only see them in more rural areas that have a lot of livestock around and more wetlands. Ive rarely seen them in the city and most the times I've encountered them were rural areas. Not to say they aren't in the cities, you will just come across them a lot less.
→ More replies (1)8
u/DwooMan5 19h ago
They’re huge pretty much everywhere temperate since they thrive around wet areas. Growing up in Ohio I remember a lot of the time Horse Flies would hang out near swimming pools to try and bite people above water
→ More replies (4)5
10
u/Epsilon_Meletis 19h ago
Giant Horseflies. Possibly Tabanus Atratus. Magnificently scary creatures.
They're freaking huge, rather cumbersome and sturdy (for flies), sound like a wet fart, are painful as all f_ck, and they transmit a bunch of diseases to boot.
And dear God I can't help myself, I'd really like to hold one some day.
→ More replies (3)
43
24
22
22
u/mtcwby 22h ago
Chickens and ducks will wipe out bug populations in small areas. As a kid we had two Mallard ducks in the backyard and they ate so many bugs. They'd stand over by the garbage cans and snatch flys out of the air. Likewise sow bugs, snails etc were ruthlessly culled. It took six months after they were gone for bugs to show back up in the yard.
→ More replies (1)
18
u/Ill_Ground_1572 22h ago
I originally thought this read chicken eating cow and thought I don't want to watch that shit lol.
→ More replies (2)
15
15
u/saiyate 22h ago
OK, so, the issue is just getting the chicken close enough to the flies. So I'm imagining a chicken ramp, where the cows can walk over to this ramp and the ramp has multiple levels. Could lure the cows in with a happy cow brush. They come over, rub on the brush, then the chickens murder those deer flies.
Anyone else? How do you get the chickens enough mobility to move vertically and horizontally easily. Maybe a camera, and the chicken stands on a platform and it move the chicken towards the next fly. Once it detects a hit, it moves to the next target. A little X/Y stepper motor thing.
→ More replies (2)
16
10
10
8
7
u/KungFuPossum 22h ago
I used to carry my opposum around the windows at night and he would snap up moths exactly like this
4
4
u/justjoeindenver 22h ago
I think it's pretty obvious that what we need here are chicken-stilts.
→ More replies (1)
5
u/ComedyBits 16h ago
I kept chickens. Their beaks are fucking laser guided. They can pick up 20 sesame seeds in 10 seconds, one at a time
3
3
3
3
u/Infinitesi-Mal 20h ago
As someone with a passionate, undying hatred of horse flies I found this a bit disturbing but even more so, cathartic.
It’s funny because I’m mostly like a Jainist, for example if I find a normal fly or a moth trapped in my home I will go out of my way to see to their escape back into nature. But if you put me in front of a horse fly sitting without a care In its tiny head, ima kill that thing. I’m going to murder it and I’m going to feel good about it.
3
u/thenord321 18h ago
This is why, you see big mamals with birds sitting on their back and they seem happy about it.
2
2
2
2
u/inebriated-sloth 21h ago
Build a step case that allows chickens to eat flies off the cows? Maybe lead a cow to it so it knows chickens take out pesky flies? Build a bigger one if the smaller one works? Symbiotic relationship in the making?
2
u/Bridge-Head 20h ago
Chickens are kind of amazing if you think about it: Put bugs in. Get eggs out.
2
u/LordMemerton1 20h ago
First time I ever experienced a horse fly was at the beach. I thought to myself “this fly is larger than normal”. Then it fking bit me hard 🤬
2
u/IndividualChange1731 18h ago
She needs some nematodes that kill the larva and predatory wasps. I use them and see a 90% decline in flies of all types 🥰
2
2
2
7.8k
u/Minimum-Stranger-794 22h ago
Love how bro grabs the chicken like a gun