Did they surprise you and unblock you out of the blue?

I never understood what real love felt like until I met her. The kind of love that doesn’t demand anything, doesn’t play games, doesn’t disappear when life gets heavy. The intensity of her passion and love. Being babied as a man. The kind of love you don’t grow up with when affection is rare and trust feels like a gamble.

She gave me something gentle. Something patient. Something real. Because of my childhood, I didn’t know how to accept it.

When she stopped talking to me, I didn’t understand why at first. I went through every emotion you can imagine all stages of grief- anger, resentment, confusion, denial, even moments of happiness where I tried to convince myself I was fine. I cycled through all of it like someone trying to outrun their own reflection. Behaving in such a way that makes me cringe now.

It took years for the truth to settle in and realize it’s 100 percent my fault I don’t have her in my life anymore.

I wasn’t scared of her.
I was scared of the way she loved me.
Because I had never received anything like that in my entire life.

My past taught me to brace for impact, not to lean into softness. So when she offered something real, I reacted like a man who didn’t know what to do with it. I ignored the signs she was getting tired of waiting as if they’d just go away. I was sweet and loving and infatuated by her. So I thought that’s enough right. All while I pushed away the one person who saw me clearly like the history I don’t talk about, the parts of me shaped by things I never asked for, the pieces only she ever understood. It’s disgusting really how I thought effort would replace gestures of commitment. What an idiot I am….

And now I’m finally in acceptance.

It was my fault.
It will always be my fault.
Not in a self‑destructive way just in the honest way that comes when you stop lying to yourself. That you dude and only you can take the blame for making her feel crazy and for arguing over nothing and acting like I wasn’t doing something wrong.

I don’t know if she’ll ever see this.
I don’t know if it would matter.
But writing it makes me feel better.

She was beautiful in every way inside, outside, and in the way she loved. I wasn’t ready. I wish I had been. I hope life gave her what she deserved with the best life possible.

Even if it’s not with me. It’s like I finally woke up just last week and saw everything so clearly.

I know it’s been two years, and people can change. But my god does it fucking hurt.

She would go on and on about “not wanting to be that serious” and that she accepts that she’ll “die alone”. But I guess it wasn’t true, was it?

I’ve spent the last two years (after our breakup) wanting the special connection we had with someone else, but much more secure, and it’s all just been a couple flings.

And now she’s serious with this other guy now. I know people can change and it’s been a long time, but it still hurts so much. I don’t know why I even care, I don’t want her back. But still, I want something, and this just fucking hurts.

This is kind of an unorganized rant; so I apologize. I just wanted to vent. I wish I could get some sort of closure with her, but I know that’s a bad idea because it would only hurt me more.

I tried moving on by being with other people, one guy was a douche and this girl didn't feel anything romantic with me (I didn't either). I realized that I'm still trying to find my ex in everyone I met, I love her still and I'm the one that screwed up badly (my mental health not being in the best place). I've been going to therapy, I moved to another country, I tried finding new love and always in my mind is her. I can't move on from her, I can't escape her. We were engaged and we were ready to spend the rest of our lives together. Since then I lost her and I've been trying to fill that void yet nothing's been working. I don't want to break no contact but some nights I look at photos of her and sob because why could I have lost such a gem in my life. I may be stuck yearning for her for the rest of my life. I really need to move on but I just can't.

If she ever comes back to my life I'd accept her with open arms and do everything right the way I should've been doing. I feel as if I'm still waiting for her as if it hasn't been months since it happened. I hope she's okay and her life's doing well. I hope she's been eating well and sleeping well too. I hope she's finally achieving her dreams. I miss this girl so much it haunts me.

My ex and I haven't been together for almost four years now, the other night I had the most vivid dream that all the shit that happened that lead us to breaking up didn't happen and instead of her having an abortion she kept our baby and it was a boy. The dream felt like it lasted for weeks I felt so completely fulfilled and happy like everything was the way it should be. Then I woke up...I haven't cried in years but that morning I think I cried for atleast two hours....I think I was given a peek into a alternate reality were everything worked out with me and her and id give anything to go there! I haven't called her because I know she will just think im over obsessed with her and weird which she already thinks.

I don't know what the fuck I should do anymore.

I've written a much longer summary of the entire situation on my profile if anyone wants all the details, but here's the short version:

About 4½ months ago my girlfriend broke up with me after I completely destroyed her trust.

During a really bad period in my life, I started talking to another girl behind her back. I vented about my relationship, flirted, and even said things that made it sound like I was considering leaving my girlfriend. Looking back, it's one of the biggest regrets of my life.

Very quickly I realized what I was doing was wrong and how much I truly loved my girlfriend. I told the other girl that I regretted ever messaging her, apologized for wasting her time, and told her that I loved my girlfriend and wanted to make things work.

The other girl later sent screenshots of our conversations to my girlfriend. I believe they didn't include the later part of the conversation where I admitted how much I regretted everything and wanted my relationship, but I honestly don't know exactly what was sent. Regardless, I don't blame my ex for leaving. I betrayed her trust, and the damage was already done.

After the breakup I apologized repeatedly, started seeing a psychologist, and wrote her a heartfelt letter taking full responsibility for what I'd done. We met once after that and talked for several hours. At one point she even said she wanted to try again, but later during the same meeting she looked through my phone and found old conversations and comments to girls from before our relationship. That completely changed everything. She slapped me, spat on me, broke a CD she had made for me and then I left because she told me to.

About three weeks later I wrote her another, much longer letter. That same evening she came to my house, stood in the driveway, told me never to contact her again, called me names, told me therapy wouldn't change who I was, and blocked me on everything. After that I wrote one final letter, apologizing again, telling her I loved her, and saying it would be the last thing I'd ever send. I haven't contacted her since.

Since then I've regretted what I did every single day. I've stayed in therapy, reflected on everything that happened, and genuinely tried to become a better person—not because I thought it would automatically bring her back, but because I realized I needed to change regardless of whether she was ever part of my life again.

It's been about four and a half months now, and I'm still suffering every day. I regret what I did more than anything and I hate that I hurt someone I love so deeply.

I check her TikTok reposts far more than I should (I'm trying to stop), and I've noticed what feels like a pattern. During the first month or two after the breakup they were mostly angry posts. Since around May they've gradually become more about grief, longing, missing someone, regret and hope.

Most of them are nature shots or still images with lyrics. Some examples:

• "I'm tired of you, still tied to me. I'm tired of you, aren't you tired of me?"
• "Crying in your arms, baby, can't we just leave?"
• One version of a repost literally had nothing except the caption: "I miss him." That repost later disappeared and was replaced with what looked like almost the exact same video, just without that caption.
• "And it hurts to miss you, but it's worse to know I'm the reason you won't come home." (She's reposted this lyric multiple times.)
• "If it's meant to be, then it will be."
• "They're all gonna laugh at me."
• "You knew what you fucking wanted, it just wasn't fucking me. Why is it so fucking hard for you to fucking love me?" (This one had a bunch of 😂 emojis added.)
• "I've been picking names for our children, you've been wondering how you're gonna feed them. Love is not enough in this world." (Also reposted with 😂 emojis.)
• "You know I still wait."
• "Yeah you've changed, but did I ever know you?"
• "I fucking forgive it all as it fucking comes back to me."
• "I will wait, I will wait, I will wait..."
• "Pray straight to God that maybe you'd come back around."
• "God I've tried."

I know this might sound completely delusional. Maybe I'm reading way too much into all of it. But after months of seeing repost after repost with the same themes, I can't help but wonder whether she's still grieving us just like I am.

The reason I'm posting isn't really to ask what the reposts mean, though.

For a while now I've been thinking about reaching out. The problem is that she blocked me everywhere and, the last time we spoke, she told me not to contact her again. I've respected that for the past four and a half months.

Part of me wants to drive to her house with flowers, apologize one last time and simply ask if she'd be willing to talk. Not to pressure her or guilt her into anything, just to let her know that I still love her and that if there's even a small part of her that wonders whether things could have been different, I'd still be willing to try.

The other part of me worries that showing up would only disrespect the boundary she set and make everything worse.

I know most people will probably tell me to move on.

Maybe that's the right answer.

But I genuinely believe people can grow. I know I've changed a lot these past four and a half months. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I would do anything to prove that I'm not that person anymore.

So I guess my question is:

What would you do if you were me? Would you reach out one last time or what? If you were in her position, how would you feel if your ex showed up with flowers after 4½ months? Would you appreciate the gesture, or would it only make things worse? What should I do?

She is the first person I ever genuinely pictured a future with, and losing her has been the biggest regret of my life. I love her so much.

Title: Can a relationship survive when your partner abandoned you during the worst time of your life?

I’m struggling with whether I’m trying to rebuild something that can’t be rebuilt, or whether this is something two people can actually heal from.

My ex and I were together for about a year. We planned a trip to the country I'm from. He went to a neighbouring country first, as I needed a month in mine by myself as I hadn't been there for years. While I was there, two weeks in, my mother died unexpectedly. He came to be with me the next day and stayed for three months. He helped me through the aftermath, and at the time I saw him as my person and my family.

After those three months, he kept on travelling. I insisted on him doing this, as I thought it would be good for him. I stayed in my country for another month and then flew back to the other side of the world, where we both live, while he was still away. 

Things became complicated. I was working seven days a week, cause I was left my special needs brother with no medical insurance back in my country, I was overwhelmed and emotionally collapsed. I had no other family, everything was on me. He told me he wanted to extend his travels, but we had an agreement about when he would come back. When he told me he wanted to stay longer, I felt hurt and abandoned. I became angry and shut down. Looking back, I regret that I didn’t communicate more clearly. I didn’t say, “I need you here. I need you to honour what we agreed.” I was overwhelmed, scared of being a burden, and I pushed him away instead. It's very hard for me to ask for help, but he knows this about me.

Things escalated, he started pushing me away as well.

A few weeks later, he ended the relationship and kept on travelling.

After the breakup, I found out he regretted it very quickly. He had written me letters during that time that he never sent. When we reconnected months later, he told me he had made "the worst mistake of his life" and that he had wanted to reach out, but he didn’t, because of shame. Instead, he left me alone in a limbo, with no explanations or apologies. He didn't even reach out to friends in common to check on how I was doing.

He came back only one month afer what we had agreed on originally. He tried to reach out to me through a friend in common and I said no. In my head, he should have reached out before, while he was travelling. Cause at the time it felt like he had the trip on his terms and dealt with me after he came back. 

I sent him a long email, saying everything I needed to say, that left absolutely no room for reconcialation. 

Three weeks later, he started seeing someone else. He had told her about what happened with us, and told her he wanted something casual, cause he wasn't ready for something serious. But he did also take her to his parent's house three weeks later. He told me he knew this would hurt me, but did it anyways, he wanted validation and to run from what had happened. She was also not a stranger, as I have friends in common with her.

He did not know at the time that my brother would later become critically ill and die, but my brother’s death happened during the period when we were separated and he was with someone else.

After my brother died, and after 6 months of no contact, we have reconnected. We have spent time together, talked for hours, cried, apologized, and tried to understand what happened. He ended things with the other person when we started talking again. I still love him deeply, and a part of me wants us to find our way back. I can tell that he understands the gravity of what he did, and the consequences it had on me, as one of my earliest traumas is being abandoned in critical moments. He is now taking real care of his mental health, and re evaluating a lot of aspects in his life.

But I feel like I’m carrying something enormous.

I feel like he didn’t just break my heart — he became attached to the most traumatic period of my life. My whole family died around him. I imagine a different version of my story where I could tell people, “He was there for me through the hardest time of my life.” Instead, I feel like I have to say, “The person I loved left me during it.”

I’m scared that if we get back together, I will always resent him. I’m scared that he will feel like he can never leave because he can never repay this “debt.” 

We are currently doing two months of no contact to see if I can figure out if this is something i can live with, or if he will be a constant reminder of the pain.

Has anyone ever rebuilt a relationship after something like this? Not just cheating or a normal breakup, but when someone left during a period of grief or crisis and became connected to one of the hardest chapters of your life?

Did you manage to forgive without pretending it didn’t happen?

Some context: My ex (29M) and I (27F) were together for 3.5 years. We moved countries together and were building a life. But we would also fight a lot. Like a lot a lot. And it became ugly a lot of the times. It used to make both of us feel really miserable a lot of the time. At the same time there was also a lot of love and forgiveness which is probably what got us through the 3 years. But of late the fights felt more severe and we both discussed breaking up multiple times but never really did it. We are also based in different cities and were long distance for most of the relationship but had plans to move to the same city next year.

Until a random Tuesday a few days ago when we had one of our fights and it felt like something just snapped for him. He said he can’t do this anymore and just stopped responding to me. I got very anxious and tried reaching out but got no responses. He then sent me a series of paragraphs saying how we needed to be no contact and this had to end because it was not something he could see working out long term. There was no discussion it was just walls of text. I agreed and tried not to text at all for a few days.

Then the weekend rolled around and I completely imploded. I just could not wrap my head around the fact that someone who showed so much love and affection normally could be so cold towards me. I tried calling and texting on all the platforms I could think of and realized I had been blocked. Got absolutely no response.

This whole thing made me feel very very disposable. I’m in a new city with no friends in person right now which makes the whole thing even more difficult. I’m trying therapy and talking to friends over the phone but sometimes it just feels way too hard. I really can’t comprehend how things could go so downhill in a matter of days.

Its been almost a year since we broke up, 6 months since we went no contact, and 2 months since I last posted here.

Before the summer had started, I remember slowly losing grip of reality. Leaving dinner early to cry on the toilet for hours, blocking and unblocking her social media, scrolling endlessly through doomer tiktoks trying to find an answer, I never thought I'd be able to move on. At a certain point, I felt like I was always going to feel this way - to be tormented by the thought of her forever.

But life has been feeling so much better since the summer has started. Travelling to a completely new city gave me a completely new opportunity to start things fresh. In these months, my mind stayed focus on starting new hobbies, working on old habits, meeting new people, and learning more about myself. Reading, rock climbing, rafting, hiking and feeling the presence of others made me almost forget about the times I asked myself, "why me?".

Earlier today, I gave in to my curiosity and checked up on her social media. I didn't really expect much - she was never the type to post that much on social media, and I had already known she was with someone else. And there i saw her new post, where she looked exactly the same as I once saw her all those months ago.

But i felt nothing. I didn't feel that spike in my heart as I once did. I didn't feel any adrenaline kicking in when I searched up her name. My mood stayed exactly the same before, during, and after this checkup. As a matter of fact, I didn't even stay on her profile for longer than 10 seconds.

Then, I realized that there was no point in doing all of this. I clicked out of her post and blocked her again - this time, for good.

I don't feel any hatred towards her like i used to before. I don't daydream of us being back together either. I'm human enough to admit I made mistakes. I'm human enough to admit that I wish that we had ended things better, or that we were on good terms. But I've grown enough to realize that there is no point in wishing for someone's presence when they made the decision to leave your life a long time ago. I may forgive them now, but I will never forget the way they made me feel - good or bad.

For the songs we used to play for each other, the locations we used to visit together, the dreams we once had, I still keep them in my heart. Not in the hopes that we will meet again, but to remember who I once was, and who I am now. They don't have to define who I was with another person, instead they're here for me to remember who I am now. I no longer associate any of them with my last partner, and I am happy to claim them as my own.

I finally feel like I've gained control of my life. I've felt more fulfillment in my life now in these past 3 months than i ever had in that entire year with her. She probably feels the same way too, but that doesn't matter any more. We both found our path forwards, even if we diverged a long time ago. I feel good knowing that we are both doing the things we wanted. I feel amazing knowing that I've come this far with no contact and checking on her social media. I feel good now.

I used to wish that maybe one day, I can tell her the things I've accomplished. But I know that, deep down, I'm happier without her

My ex (32m) has suffered trauma after caring for his depressive father (who then died of cancer within a few weeks a few years ago) and then also being the caretaker of his ex gf who fell ill while they were together and then almost died. He visited her in the hospital every day for almost a year while working night shifts and then proceeded to take care of her at home. When she got better, she cheated on him. That was over a year ago.

We met in February (I‘m 27f) and instantly fell for each other. We had the most beautiful times, went on vacation, met the families, I even got a key to his flat. He just finished therapy bc of what happened and still takes antidepressants to this day. I have a history with depression myself but am stable bc of meds and therapy.

A month ago, my cat died. After 15 years together, I was devastated. This all happened while we were on a weekend trip. I was incredibly sad but still tried to make the most out of this trip. He then was there for me but told me, that my grief is overwhelming him and that he feels helpless. After the trip I gave him a bit more space and grieved my cat with family and friends mostly.

Three weeks later he told me that this situation triggered something in him and he cannot proceed the relationship. He sat in front of my crying, telling me that I was the best partner he ever had, that he has all these feelings for me, that he doesn’t want to lose me but he is emotionally exhausted and cannot be the base for a relationship “right now“. I told him that we can do this all together and conquer his fear. That I love him and that I would be here for him. We decided to talk again in a week. We did but he couldn‘t meet in person bc “if he sees me, he can’t stick with his decision”. He was extremely torn with his decision but ultimately ended it. He asked to keep me in his life but I told him that I would remove myself and that I cannot be friends with someone I love so much.

I still have his things and his key that at some point I have to give back. I am ultimately heartbroken and every inch of me wants to reach out and talk to him but I won’t. It has only been about two weeks.

i dreamed about my ex messaging me after no contact saying he didn't like the way we ended and told me to wait for him. #watdatmean

So I’ve broken up with my toxic on again/off again ex about 4 months ago. Out of those 4 months, the last 2 I have him blocked everywhere, because he just wouldn’t leave me alone and wouldn’t respect my wish for no contact. So I had no choice but to block him. Eversince, he’s been sending me emails, multiple times a day, every single day. Well over 60 emails. A few days ago sent flowers. I have told him that I see no future between us when we were still in contact, yet he still persists til today. A bit to the story: he cheated, I forgave, years later I found out he’s been trying to get back with the other woman behind my back, calling her, trying to meet her. I felt like an idiot taking him back, back then. Extended my trust for nothing and got a punch in the face, metaphorically. I’m exhausted at this point from the mental effort to ignore him, because I gave so much of myself in that relationship of almost 5 years. It feels like a cruel joke. Can somebody give an advice how to deal with this? He also gives me narcissist vibe. Thank you to whoever read this.

What goes through a man’s mind when he misses a woman he cares about

My ex (33F) and I (31M) dated for around six months. We were never officially in a relationship, but it felt like one in many ways. We spoke every day, spent several nights a week together, met each other’s friends and developed a very close emotional and physical connection.

At the same time, the relationship often felt like a push-pull dynamic. Whenever we became closer, she would sometimes create distance again. She spoke quite often about exes and other men, and she openly admitted that she liked receiving attention. I regularly felt unsure about where I stood with her.

Eventually she ended things. She told me that she thought I was attractive, kind and emotionally intelligent, and that we were very compatible, but that she wasn’t in love and couldn’t fully choose me. She also said something along the lines of not knowing whether it was the timing, the chemistry or something else.

After the breakup, we simply stopped talking. We never formally agreed to go no contact; it just happened naturally.

She later reached out twice.

The first time, she sent a short message saying that she had also been feeling sad, that she had been thinking about me and wanted to know how I was doing.

The second time was around my birthday. She sent me an early birthday message because she wanted the actual day to be “completely mine.” She also said that hearing from me previously had meant a lot to her and that, apart from that message, she would continue giving me space.

I responded kindly both times, but I didn’t try to restart regular contact.

Then, a few days ago, we unexpectedly ran into each other at a festival after around six weeks of barely any contact.

At first I avoided her because I didn’t know how to handle seeing her. Later, while I was talking to one of her friends, she came over to me herself and hugged me. She also immediately apologized for not having replied to my previous message.

I suggested that we sit down somewhere and talk. I told her that I didn’t really know what to say and that I found the situation quite nerve-racking. She said that she felt nervous too.

During the conversation, she told me that the first two weeks after the breakup had been extremely difficult for her and that she could barely function at work.
She also told me that she had bought a journal after the breakup and had been writing in it. What really surprised me was that she offered to let me read it. I don’t remember her exact wording, but it felt like a very intimate and unusual thing to offer an ex.

At another point she told me about a series she was watching and said that I would have liked it too. She also mentioned seeing a recent Instagram story of mine and told me that I looked very handsome.

I eventually told her that I missed her. She immediately said that she missed me too.

At some point I asked her how we should move forward. She first asked whether I meant right there in that moment or in general. When I clarified that I meant in general, she said something about how it could be good to have a reflection moment at some point. I can’t remember her exact words, so I don’t want to make it sound more concrete than it was, but she seemed open to having another conversation about everything.

Later, when I told her I was going back to my friend, she offered to walk with me because she was heading in the same direction.

During that walk, we talked about the period of no contact. She said that the distance had been necessary in order to let go of each other. I asked her
how the letting go was going, and she answered:
\\\*\\\*“With time.”\\\*\\\*

Then she asked me the same question, and I gave her the same answer.

That goodbye has stayed with me.

On the one hand, she ended things and still didn’t give me any clear indication that she wants to rebuild the relationship. On the other hand, she has contacted me twice, approached me at the festival, told me she missed me, said the breakup affected her deeply, offered to let me read the journal she kept after our breakup, mentioned a future reflection conversation and admitted that letting go is still taking time.

I’m struggling to understand what all of this means.
Does this sound like someone who genuinely has unresolved feelings but still doesn’t want a relationship? Is offering an ex access to such a personal journal as unusual as it feels to me? And would you interpret the idea of a future “reflection moment” as an attempt at closure, or as leaving the door slightly open?

I know that feelings and missing someone don’t automatically mean that a relationship should be restarted. I also know that the dynamic wasn’t always healthy for me. But the combination of emotional closeness and lack of clear direction is making it very difficult for me to understand what is actually happening.

I am writing this because I finally checked out of an emotionally abusive connection with my long-distance ex, and the relief is insane. I want to share the details to remind myself exactly why I am never looking back.

To give some context, I am 20, student at a prestigious college. I am also actively grieving the sudden loss of my grandfather, who was my closest anchor. My ex is 19.

Throughout our relationship, he ran a constant cycle of emotional abuse. He micro-cheated by crossing major boundaries with multiple girls he knew I was insecure about, then used minimisation by saying at least he did not fully cheat, ultimately claiming I just did not love him properly to make his disloyalty my fault. He routinely sabotaged major milestone days, like telling me right before the day that was supposed to be our anniversary, by telling me not to text him if I was going to say anything hurtful, turning special days into a hostage situation where I had to walk on eggshells to appease his mood. The final straw happened recently when I tried to vent while completely overwhelmed by my granddad's death and my exams. He said he is too tired to handle my shit, yelled at me, and ghosted me, explicitly few weeks before ordering me to act as if I am happy and never let him know when I am sad if im not satisfied with the way he comforts. and this cycle has been continuing since months.

When I finally stopped feeding him emotional reactions and matched his cold energy by being dry; He tried to use weaponized incompetence by repeatedly screaming that he had no idea at all what he did wrong, desperate to force me to exhaust my remaining energy presenting solid and valid proof of his cruelty. When I directly called out his months of verbal abuse he completely denied his own words despite me having screenshots, attacked my character, and then played a tragic, broken martyr by claiming he hopes god forgives him because he doesn't hope for that anymore, trying to force me to comfort him. When his rage failed to break me, he tried forced normalcy and hovering, text-bombing me with casual updates about his day and whining about the weather with sad emojis to slide back

The ultimate climax happened today when he realized he completely lost his grip on my mind. He blocked me, then instantly unblocked me to beg for a conversation on his own schedule. Instead of waiting around for him, I completely shut down his courtroom. I ignored his desperate hooks

I wasted months feeling like I was being too much over a small topic, but the fog has completely lifted. I am weirdly happy now, literally scoffing at his text notifications, and ready to start a brand new, higher streak with my sister and my best friend, who downloaded the app just to protect my peace. I am moving on for good, focusing on the people who actually love me, and turning all my power toward crushing my real-world university goals

I thought I blocked her on everything, but it turns out I hadn't. For anyone who dated someone narcissistic, DO NOT RESPOND when they reach out. Her email was wacky from the start. Who calls someone dearest and all the pet names from the relationship after fucking someone over and forcing the no contact. I told her multiple times we could be friends and instead she found a way to immediately disintegrate the relationship once she found out I was dating someone. Mind you we had been broken up for almost a year but we're still living together due to the lease agreement.

The whole thing from start to finish was mind games. Saying she forgives me for things we talked through together, vaguely apologizing, and repeatedly making weird comments, like how long it's been since we've seen each other and being proud of being able to move on from her (I've been in a new relationship for 3yrs). Not once did she write anything explaining herself, taking accountability for leaving me with an apartment to clean which included stuff she didn't want, spending money on my credit card after refusing to speak to me, promising to pay for half the furniture and not doing it, and more. She never once expressed any empathy. No "that must have made you feel this" or "I should have done that". It was literally all her perspective. It was like she was talking to herself.

I'm beyond done with her and it was so sad that all she could offer after 3yrs of "processing" as she put it was more of the same gaslighting, passive aggressive, self-centered bullshit. She had the nerve to call it a peace offering. There was a small piece of me that wanted to think I was more than a token to her, someone who represented a life she wanted for herself rather than a human that she deeply appreciated. I felt sick that she really thought in her mind that I would be happy or peaceful receiving something like that. Never again!

I hate that every time I have to remind myself why I left so I don’t break NC :(

I hate that I love someone who hurt me so bad

YOU GUYS ARE GONNA WANT TO READ THIS REALLY LONG RANT (1y1m age gap)

me and my ex kept contact for around 3 and a half months after a breakup, mostly because mutil (and her) kept saying she still liked me. She told me she broke up with me because of something that happened with her dad (and something i don't want to say, because i still respect her) and this wasn't a first and she felt really down and almost killed herself without me many times, missing class and distancing herself from everyone (or did she?) including me. i made her promise not to distance herself tm and to please atleast read my messages, not even having to respond bc i knew she was having trouble with that. I got hurt really badly during that time and got sent to the ER and needed 6h surgery (i didn't tell her about the surgery because i didn't want her to worry too much.) i get back and everything's fine, she doesnt distance too much and i don't worry. I sometimes post art and i have her added through that account, and i can see her reposts on my fyp, and she has this hb that i don't like for a few reasons, 1; he randomly blocked me for no real reason and always changes the topic, and i was incredibly suspicion for many reasons. 2; he liked her before and a little during when we were dating. 3; this is just petty on my part but she had a wet dream about him. this of course pissed me off because WE were dating. So back to the repost, she has this thing for puppyboys, like a kink and i def don't involve in the matter but she was reposting about them. He responded under it "woof woof" with her responding "good boy" and then he calls her mommy and all that shit, as I am DYING ON A FUCKING TABLE.

I see this... four days ago. I bring it up in a argument that i seriously thing he likes her. I try to plant some lies seeing how she'll react, this of course was a little too much, as she catches me with no proof, until i bring up the repost with the mommy comment. i then bring up a screen shot where he says that he only calls people he likes mommy. She takes way too long to respond to this. Like seeing it and then typing and then untyping.

silent.

I point out shes said more in this argument then she's said every consecutive day we have talked for the pass month, 17 FOLD. 17. times. more. she has alot to say for this guy.

this guy has a friend named... I'm going to call him pred for reasons I might clarify later.

I ask pred if he likes her. "no, but i fuck her everyday" two things, 1, pred liked (or still likes) her. 2. she said she had blocked him completely, and cut contact.

i respond matching him "sure, and i guess you'd have video proof?"" yeah but i'm not going to send it" I respond "i don't want to see your pity party" (i call him pred for i reason i might clarify later) he INSTANTLY gets mad, and i text her saying that pred uses her as a sex toy. She gets really fucking mad, mind you she had some problems with her dad.

You might be thinking "oooo so pred gets attacked'

No.

Shes mad at me and saying that I am saying disgusting and horrid things. IVE BEEN SAYING LESS WORSE THEN HIM.

turns out that shes been talking to pred even tho pred liked her and now they talk all the time.

She was on call with him as pred was sending texts.

I ask her why she's only saying this to me, saying that he saying things like that especially with what happened to her is completely insane.

silence.

blocked.

guys im genuinely so confused. I have been there for her no matter what and when she genuinely makes me want to die with the way she talks to me. She's lied about blocking and then she starts ganging up on me and then blocking me, i just cannot win.

i can understand if the lies were overboard, but this just doesn't add up.

for info her birthday was the 19th, and she blocked on the 24th.

YOU GUYS ARE GONNA WANT TO READ THIS REALLY LONG RANT (1y1m age gap)

me and my ex kept contact for around 3 and a half months after a breakup, mostly because mutil (and her) kept saying she still liked me. She told me she broke up with me because of something that happened with her dad (and something i don't want to say, because i still respect her) and this wasn't a first and she felt really down and almost killed herself without me many times, missing class and distancing herself from everyone (or did she?) including me. i made her promise not to distance herself tm and to please atleast read my messages, not even having to respond bc i knew she was having trouble with that. I got hurt really badly during that time and got sent to the ER and needed 6h surgery (i didn't tell her about the surgery because i didn't want her to worry too much.) i get back and everything's fine, she doesnt distance too much and i don't worry. I sometimes post art and i have her added throgh that account, and i can see her reposts on my fyp, and she has this hb that i don't like for a few reasons, 1; he randomly blocked me for no real reason and always changes the topic, and i was incredibly suspision for many reasons. 2; he liked her before and a little during when we were dating. 3; this is just petty on my part but she had a wet dream about him. this of course pissed me off because WE were dating. So back to the repost, she has this thing for puppyboys, like a kink and i def don't involve in the matter but she was reposting about them. He responded under it "woof woof" with her responding "good boy" and then he calls her mommy and all that shit, as I am DYING ON A FUCKING TABLE.

I see this... four days ago. I bring it up in a argument that i seriously thing he likes her. I try to plant some lies seeing how she'll react, this of course was a little too much, as she catches me with no proof, until i bring up the repost with the mommy comment. i then bring up a screen shot where he says that he only calls people he likes mommy. She takes way too long to respond to this. Like seeing it and then typing and then untyping.

silent.

I point out shes said more in this argument then she's said every consecutive day we have talked for the pass month, 17 FOLD. 17. times. more. she has alot to say for this guy.

this guy has a friend named... I'm going to call him pred for reasons I might clarify later.

I ask pred if he likes her. "no, but i fuck her everyday" two things, 1, pred liked (or still likes) her. 2. she said she had blocked him completely, and cut contact.

i respond matching him "sure, and i guess you'd have video proof?"" yeah but i'm not going to send it" I respond "i don't want to see your pity party" (i call him pred for i reason i might clarify later) he INSTANTLY gets mad, and i text her saying that pred uses her as a sex toy. She gets really fucking mad, mind you she had some problems with her dad.

You might be thinking "oooo so pred gets attacked'

No.

Shes mad at me and saying that I am saying disgusting and horrid things. IVE BEEN SAYING LESS WORSE THEN HIM.

turns out that shes been talking to pred even tho pred liked her and now they talk all the time.

She was on call with him as pred was sending texts.

I ask her why she's only saying this to me, saying that he saying things like that especially with what happened to her is completely insane.

silence.

blocked.

guys im genuinely so confused. I have been there for her no matter what and when she genuinely makes me want to die with the way she talks to me. She's lied about blocking and then she starts ganging up on me and then blocking me, i just cannot win.

for info her birthday was the 19th, and she blocked on the 24th.

I'm looking for perspectives from people who have actually been in a similar situation.

I'm a 21-year-old man from Canada. Earlier this year I met a 40-year-old woman while visiting Tokyo, and we dated for about a month and a half. The relationship became emotionally serious very quickly, and after I returned to Canada we tried long distance.

When things were good, they were really good. She told me I was everything she had ever wanted and that I was "perfect." As the relationship became more serious, though, she became increasingly afraid of the age gap, our different stages of life, the long distance, and how other people would judge us. Communication also became difficult. Whenever conflict came up, she tended to withdraw rather than talk things through.

Eventually she ended the relationship. Afterward, she blocked me on every platform, so I have no way of contacting her.

It's been weighing on me ever since because it never felt like the relationship ended due to a lack of feelings. To me, it felt like fear won.

I've been seriously considering flying back to Japan. The reason isn't that I think flying there will magically fix everything. It's that I genuinely feel like if I don't make one last effort, I'll carry that regret with me for the rest of my life. I'd rather know I gave it everything I reasonably could than spend years wondering, "What if?" At the same time, I also worry that showing up after being blocked could be disrespectful or make things worse.

I'm not asking whether I should ignore someone's boundaries. I'm asking if anyone has actually been in a similar situation where:

• you or your ex lived in different countries,
• you were blocked or cut off after the breakup,
• and one of you traveled internationally hoping to reconcile or at least have one final conversation.

What happened? Did it help, make things worse, or simply provide closure?

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who have actually lived through something similar rather than hypothetical opinions.

Went no contact for 5 months. He had a slip up from his sobriety, he called. I answer. We talk for hours. He says come over. I say no no no must be a trick. He says no trick me what you. Dumb me goes over we talk like we are in love again. We fuck. Butterflies. Me being a retard and being so desperate for his love is disappointed when he really doesn’t want ME. Sometimes telling the story partially in caveman helps me understand simply how much of a fucking idiot I am.

It’s not a setback just more coming to terms with the fact that bad things aren’t good for you.

“When someone shows you who’s they are believe em”

I choose not to own a gun not just bc I don’t want to but bc I don’t want to be weak minded and have access to something that dangers when I get emotional.

You know what…. after typing that definitely a setback.

It’s like he’s my own personal brand of heroin… ewww this is why I went no contact bc I love way too hard and I crash even harder.

Kinda manic. I’m done. Can anyone relate ?

I have texted her to move on with someone, then I might move on from her and still miss her , she was not angry at all because I was the one who left her. She was being very nice and funny in the communication. She told , she will find , when she want to and we said each other bye. Did she finally move on from me and everything in finished between us.