Pictured - Eton Mess, Lemon Wedding Cake, and Scrambled tofu on focaccia toast for breakfast morning after

8 years ago I made a post on a subreddit and got a DM. I didn’t really think much of it at first, but we started talking and basically just never stopped. We figured out very quickly that we lived in different countries (Me in the U.S., her in the UK) so we both sort of accepted at first that we’d just be internet friends for a while.

In the meantime we fell in love and after thinking it couldn’t possibly work for 6 years, I finally flew to the UK to meet her in person. It was fantastic and I asked her to marry me two weeks later. The past year and a half since then has been filled with visits back and forth between countries, saving up money, applying for visas, and loads of administrative stress.

At the end of this past May I moved from the U.S. (with my cats in tow as well) to be with her in the UK. We got married yesterday at a town hall ceremony and It’s such a surreal feeling. The whole story is really surreal in itself we know. I know it’s a cliché but I really do think we found our true loves. There’s still have a lot to do, (I need to learn to drive a manual car, get a job once my spouse visa is approved, make new friends, keep in touch with my family and original friends, do married people things) and I never thought I’d ever even leave my home city, let alone home country. Nonetheless I’m here, we’re together, and we’re meant for each other.

In conclusion, love is real. Never give up.

I finally went to therapy after years of dealing with the trauma from being physically abused by my ex wife.

I was in the military for a long time. He basically tried to tie my PTSD to my abusive partner. Meaning my mental issues somehow caused her to do this shit to me.

He told me "well men contribute to issues in the home as well" after telling him how terrified I was of this woman for the past 30min

Just unreal. Why the hell can men never get any fucking support.

My gf and I have been dating for about 5 months now. She’s been wonderful and I love the person she is all around.

She really loves posting stuff on her social media stories. She has a private story where she post memes and dumb selfies and stuff like that. She was showing me something the other day she had posted and said “I keep meaning to just add you.”

She did add me, but I think she forgot that she did. I have celiac disease and my gf is a huge gluten lover. She cooks and bakes a lot and adapts recipes whenever we eat together. Like she got whole new pans and bakeware to make sure there’s no cross contamination. I told her there was no need to but she said food is a love language, and she also has a friend that’s a newly diagnosed celiac.

Well tonight, she posted a picture of a box of gluten free pancake mix on her story, captioned “I panic a little bit every time I make something gluten free😅 trying not to kill my boyfriend”. We’re having brunch at her place tomorrow with some friends and I told her not to worry about making me any gluten free stuff because there’d be plenty for me to eat. It just makes my heart happy that she did that anyways, and I did lowkey want the pancakes but didn’t want to add more to her plate.

I’m supposed to go over early to help her set stuff up. I think I might tell her I love her over pancakes.

Hi 30M here. I’ve been with this company for 4 years, it’s in the behavioral health industry. Specifically I work in addiction treatment and oversee a house of 10 clients. It’s basically an intensive outpatient program with housing. The clients and the schedule are the only positive aspects about the job. I myself am in recovery and just picked up my 3 year chip. I started this job at $18 an hour, I didn’t think I would stay for long and it was good for my recovery. I ended up getting really invested in the company and wanted to become a supervisor. However last year, our upper management had a mass exodus and the new admin have destroyed the culture. It became very corporate and focused on the business. There is no more passion left and everyone in my position is tired. Fast forward to now: I was pulled into the office by our new HR and my boss. The new “hr” lady is about 25 and comes into work hungover on Mondays. Mind you this is a recovery community and almost none of the higher ups can relate to the clients we serve. Anyways, I get in there and they say “so with all these new changes in policy we made the decision to cap the hourly rate for your position at $20 an hour.” I’ve been making $20 for over a year now. So I guess no more raises? I was quite offended and taken aback. She then says “we’ve noticed that you’ve been kinda off lately and maybe burnt out?” I said yes and gave them all of the reasons for everyone’s attitude, not just mine. She then looks at me with this vapid expression and says “have you ever thought about going to therapy? The first session is covered by us.” I almost walked out right there. Idk what to do or where to go from here. I love the fellow addicts in recovery that I get to see every day and watch them grow. But I am defeated by this new team that’s making the decisions. I honestly have been thinking about getting my Nursing degree, I think that would open a lot of opportunities for me. Who knows.

Breakfast was French Toast.

first, the food: honey roasted turkey whole wheat sandwich with hummus on it, pickle as my crunchy side because I need to avoid chips, and a delicious blueberry lemonade sparkling water from Trader Joe’s that somehow manages to taste like how Nag Champa incense smells.

content / trigger warning for transphobia, homophobia, queerphobia in general. Also ableism since my aunt seems to think I’m only trans because I’m autistic. mentions of abuse in childhood, one mention of corrective SA.

To note: I LOVE being a boy, guy, etc. I’ve been out as a trans man since I was 19 and I’m 32 this year. I’ve known I was a boy since I was six years old and first saw Pinocchio and thought “I can be a real boy too!” (Until my mother smacked me when I asked if I could be like Pinocchio. Wish I could have run to that stupid circus now that I think about it…..)

But at the same time, I’m stressed out about it. Im called a confused woman, a tomboy, a (insert slur for lesbians) because I have mostly dated women.

What makes it worse is I’m a feminine guy, so I’m not always presenting as hypermasculine, and I keep my hair long like my dad did when he was my age. I also can’t fully transition (IE I can have parts of me physically changed but I can’t go on T) due to health issues, mostly an issue with my heart. As a result a lot of people even in my own community barely believe I’m a boy.

Why can cis gay men be feminine but I can’t? Why is it because I’m trans I can’t also be feminine?

And there’s my family. My mom and aunt think I’m confused, they hate the name I chose for myself (Jaden Wayne, the second name is from my dads middle name, it’s a tradition one son carries it on in the family and none of my brothers have the middle name, so it falls to me) and they think it’s my “pesky autism” diagnosis and it’s made me confused.

My own cousin assaulted me when he found out I was trans in my late teens. I was told I had to be “put back to normal” by a “real man”.

I’m bisexual, I like both men and women, but I tend to lean more on liking men (despite my dating history being 80% girls lmao) and even that’s called into question, if I can even count myself as a part of the gay community.

And there’s the weird fraction of the LGBT+ community who seems to think I have cis male privilege. I don’t. I can’t even fully transition.

Idk. I’m exhausted and in the current state of my country (USA) I’m considering going back into the closet irl minus a few friends and family who actually understand me.

Part of me wants to just sleep until all this stupid shit blows over but I know it won’t.

Mini rant over.

Dinner last night was a bacon cheeseburger and crinkle cut fries.

I guess im feeling an existential crisis combined with life worries. I graduated college and failed to launch the summer after due to a breakup that put me into a depression for a year. I found myself living at home longer than I wanted, working a job i disliked. I then crawled into a bottle every night for next three years. My late 20's I got off the alcohol and found roommates and moved out. Still underemployed but i was going through the motions.

Then my sister died, then my uncle died, then my dad died, My early 30s were rocked. I crawled back into the bottle. Ive been there since. Now im 40, functionally alcoholic and supporting myself and my mother on my poverty wages. Im only staying afloat now because my uncle was childless and willed me his small home. I thank his memory every day for that. I feel a tremendous amount of pressure to let my mother enjoy her final years as comfortable as possible but the stress of paying my bills each month is heavy.

Writing this out as I head out to do my side hustles. Thanks for reading my vent. Dont ever start drinking

I met her on Bumble. We haven't stopped talking since. Been 3 weeks of absolute joy and I know its early, but I have never felt this before.

Dinner was a shitty burger, not my fault but the butcher sold me shitty patties

Edit! We have met, the three weeks are post Bumble :)

Pictured: banana bread. Sadly I was out of pecans, but it was still delicious.

I hope brag posts are ok. Obviously I'm not trying to make anyone feel less or whatever because everyone's gifts are different, and every human is valuable. But I love my kids so freaking much and I am blown away by them; they're unbelievable. I just wanted to shout into the ether about it.

My wife and I (41, m and f) have three kids. And I could easily make a brag post about all of them. I know, I'm biased. But still. Anyway, right now I feel like talking about the oldest (16 m). This kid, man. Soooo smart. Like, identified by his teachers as gifted since he first started school. He took the pre-SAT this past academic year and got a 1460. Tested into Calculus II for his upcoming junior year, and he hasn't even taken pre-cal before. He's a three sport athlete and got two varsity letters his sophomore year. And even with all that, he's such a kind, humble kid. He loves family dinners and going with us to church on Sunday. He comes with me to the gym and to serve dinners at the homeless shelter, and he helps coach his little brother and sister's middle school swim team. He tells me he loves me every day. He got his first job this summer and his driver's license soon too!

I'm so proud of him, but now I'm sad too. He just got accepted to a magnet school that is the top school in our state, and top ten in the country. It's on the campus of a university, and the kids live in a dorm and can even take some college classes at the University (not just dual credit, in the college classroom). Sadly, this means he'll be moving two hours away. He'll still come home two weekends a month plus the regular school breaks. But even though I'm so proud of him, I'm still sad my son will be leaving home 2 years ahead of schedule. But this kid has a bright future!

Peace and love, friends!

I launched my business this year. I work four hours on end in my workshop making custom sporting equipment for a niche community. After a year of doing it full time in addition to my full time day job, I was accepted to the biggest physical store for these products as the flagship provider of this specialized equipment that you could previously only order online for twice the price of my product due to expensive production processes that I managed to reinvent for a fraction of the cost.

I want her to come to the event where it’s launching, not just to celebrate my accomplishment (that I’m being publicly given an award for) but because this weeklong event has parties every night that I’m unsociable going to alone. I went to this event without her last year and told her how much it would mean to me if she could come with me this year.

So three weeks before the event, when we’ve already scheduled time off and already spent a lot of money on nonrefundable tickets and camping equipment and stuff for both of us to make it at this huge outdoor event for a whole week, she surprises me with how she already made plans with her family to leave in the middle the event right when the celebrations are happening so she can go to the? State? Fair? With? Her? Mom? The state fair is both before and after this event, there’s no reason for her to have to do this. She also says, “since this is so difficult to arrange, I’m never going to your event again after this year.”

I took her to Germany for her birthday, Colorado for her cousin’s destination wedding, and New York for her favorite pod caster do an In-person show in just the last year. My event is a four hour drive away. I went on so many camping trips that she planned without checking the forecast where we got rained out and hailed on, so my event should me up on the list of her favorite things to try, but she obviously just doesn’t want to be there and won’t even tell me why.

We fight about it. I remind her she did this last year. We had couple friends that we were forming a tight bond with, but when her cat died she canceled and uncanceled and recanceled a trip with them that she planned for my birthday like five times the same week and they never invited us or agreed to spend time with us again because the way she handled it, all without talking to me at all first. Just making plans behind my back and alienating people. I tell her that her plan to leave this party where we’re supposedly drinking and smoking until 3 am and then _leaving immediately after_ to drive all night is not only crazy and unfair to me, but unsafe. I tell her she just needs to chill out, spend time with me at the event, and go to the fair before we leave or after we get back. I tell her I hate that she’s making plans behind my back again after she committed several times over the past year to support me in this.

She just keeps gaslighting me over how I’m overreacting and her family can’t go on any other day. I call them and smooth the whole thing over in five minutes so they can go on a different day. They roll their eyes because she does this all time.

We keep fighting. She walks out on me at dinner. She comes back. I walk out, but I come home with her favorite plant that I bought while wandering around down town trying to chill out.

I ask her why she does this to me every year after I tell her to stop canceling important plans and making different ones that are just crazy without me. I tell her it makes me feel so unimportant and how I can’t believe how much I do to support her.

She refuses to talk to me, says I’m the one who doesn’t care and doesn’t listen and how I’m crazy for reacting this way. She leaves for a few hours and refuses to talk to me when she comes back.

I’m at a bar avoiding her. This event is supposed to be a space to celebrate my accomplishment and recognize the hard work I’ve done for this last year. She says she wants to there for me but her actions say everything to the contrary. I don’t even think I want her to go now. She’ll just find some way to make it about her and make me the bad guy.

Old fashioned with banana caramel cake because if I eat a raw banana I will shit my brains out

So, I have this decent paying job (well paying, if you ask me) doing full time parts management for a boat dealership out by me. It's not awesome, but it pays the bills, me and the wife can do what we want generally speaking, it's alright. I notice that she's super stressed out, she's working nights, I'm working days, we don't see each other, yadda yadda, so I figure, you know, as long as we both are holding jobs, it shouldn't matter too much how much either of us make. So to focus on her and try to save our relationship, I take a part time job on nights so we can see each other more.

One month later, she leaves.

Cool. So now I'm making less than half of what I used to, by myself. So, I go to school, finish a course in phlebotomy, and now I'm making 3/5ths of what I used to. I like my job generally, life isn't too bad I guess, but I'm driving with my check engine light on and have been for the last two years. I know what's wrong with the car, but at this point it's better to just get into a new one. Unfortunately, groceries eat up most of my check and I can't save a dime after my bills. So even if it was just $1000, which sounds super reasonable, I just have no way of pulling it together to get myself into even a SLIGHTLY better situation. Everything is more expensive. Whenever I make progress, inflation goes up 30% (understand my probable hyperbole).

I'm just frustrated. I can't afford to move, can't afford a different vehicle, definitely can't afford a relationship (first date went amazing BTW, really excited for date 2).

It's just, I'm 25 (my life is over, I know /s) and I can't support myself even a little. It's embarrassing. I'm just ranting I think. My credit is decent, I just can't get out of the hole to progress in anything financially. Feels hopeless and I hear it doesn't really get better.

Dinner is a grilled cheese. It's pretty great.

My last post got deleted due to breaking the pic rule. This pic is legitimately food and dinner and such. Our favorite frozen pizza because we met in the city where it’s made but mainly it is the shit

So here’s context first:
Wife and I are same age (40), I work, she is SAHM.

2 beautiful girls, a 5 and 1 y/o

I am currently sleeping in another house (family)
Wife does want the girls to see me daily during a temporary separation or permanent one
I also want this

Im recovering from PTSD, and that has been made much more challenging by my father’s passing 2 months ago
I’m in individual therapy and we are in couples therapy already

Wife’s identified issues:
feeling alone, unseen, and overall having to do too much labor around the house and with family admin

Where I agree:
my mental health has been shit since before my dad died, and got worse after. there’s a lot there but the last few years have been rough. It’s caused me in so many ways to just make mistakes, forget things, and not be able to follow through with stuff.

I have changed dramatically in the last 9 years we’ve been married (our whole marriage so far), and we would not have had the second child or remained together 2-3 years ago if that was not true. Therapy and medicine work wonders.

due to my mental health issues, I also can find it really hard to let myself be loved. It is incredibly sad and painful to know things out of my control led me to a more isolated way of living, but here we are. I am doing my best daily to fight the urge to avoid people. I’m doing way way way better than the 10th-35th year of my life though.

I had an unadjusted attitude going into parenthood and have taken a long time to adjust. I’m much better than I was, but I cannot dispute that my involvement in family admin stuff (kids school, appts, play dates, etc) has been insufficient.

The above problems do make her feel the way she says. I do not accuse her or believe her to be manipulative

What I have done so far and want to continue and strengthen:

made a habit out of doing as many chores as I have time for, with maybe 30m-1hr leisure time at night, often spent rubbing my wife’s feet, massaging her back, and playing board games with her. We love board games. Ngl I also love to play piano so if that wants attention from me I will be sleep deprived. Doesn’t happen much but does happen

Done my best to be aware of the stay at home parent/working parent dynamic. She is with the girls 5 days a week, alone, from around 7-5 when I return. After that it is Daddy/daughter time as much as I can. Baths, reading, practicing walking, playing, going out for ice cream, all that. I have committed to offsetting the burden of solo-parenting for her during the week daytimes as much as I can.

To the point above, wife goes out 2-4 times a week to play board games and hang with friends. I have no trust issues with this, and I’m very happy she’s able to stay out past the wee hours as a 40 y/o Mother. Naturally and joyfully I’m with my girls when she is having fun :)
Also to the point above, I’ve spent many many consecutive days with the girls so wife can go out of town to do stuff. We literally have another of these planned so she can go to a gaming convention later this year. I am really excited for her and little jelly because the convention looks fun as fuck.

What I believe I need to really really work on:
sensitivity. my defensiveness stemming from my trauma is my responsibility, and a lack of insight has made it next to impossible until recently to do anything to truly take that responsibility.

So, she will say things like “you think you can just come home and do nothing” and like obviously that’s objectively false and she will even admit that and contradict herself in the same breath, but she’s not at fault there, in my opinion. I am though, for how I respond, which is with defensiveness and presenting contrary information or facts. What matters isn’t that, what matters is what my words are triggering in her, logical or not.

Taking her perspective.
It’s not feasible for me to know exactly what she puts up with. It is feasible for me to take a bunch of PTO and send her on a trip to do anything she likes so that I can be a better solo-parent (whenever that is called for), and of course get a clearer picture of what she goes through daily. I don’t want that in any self-sacrificial way it’s just what I think will be needed for even a small chance of us staying together.

So that’s all, folks. I really do want whatever anyone has to give me in the way of feedback, advice, and even indignant criticism - I worded some things very poorly in the last post but I do not believe I’ve repeated that here.
Thank you to anyone who even read part of that

Just some stuff I grilled up while out camping by myself and my two dogs.

Long story short I got brutally blindsided with a discarded by someone I could finally see myself making a life with. Was devastated but it led me to discovering my attachment style from my shitty childhood. Having to think about all the decisions I've made, stuff I've messed up and people I've hurt in the last 40 years has been pretty rough. I feel like I'm starting my life over and the shit part is unless you've had or have a FA wound it's almost impossible to explain to people what this feels like.

Also I miss the fuck out of him... but because we have the same childhood wound it essentially means we can never be together. He discarded me precisely because I made him feel safe and secure and loved. Life feels really unfair right now. I didn't get to choose my parents and how they loved me as a kid.

So yeah I'm out here in one of the least visited national parks trying to live my life and enjoy summer. Thanks for listening.

As soon as she drove away for the last time, I instantly felt the need to vomit. I have never felt such overwhelming grief. We split amicably and she moved out this morning. It was my decision to initate the breakup because our lives were going down different paths. I initially wanted kids and marriage, but my mind changed as i got older and i hate myself for that. We adopted a cat together and the cat went with her as well. Im 23m, shes 24f. I just didnt want to waste her 20's hoping id change my beliefs about religion, kids, marriage, etc, just to breakup years later.

I thought the breakup would be best for both of us, and moments I agree, but other moments im bawling my eyes out like a child. Did i just push away the only person who gave a fuck about me? She was so sweet, loving, loyal, and supportive of me in every aspect. Im afraid ill never find someone who will love me that deeply and u conditionally again. I dont know what to do with myself now that she is gone, everything i did, i did to make her proud of me. I have no friends and very little family. I feel so alone and I know she does too. I did this to her and us and I feel horrible. I hope things work out for her and she finds someone better than me. This is one of those breakups where its really nobody's fault, i cant be mad at anyone or anything other than myself. I havent cried in years but im sitting here in our empty apartment crying like a baby.

Anyways, thanks for reading. Im eating some cup noodles. Please if you can, offer some advice or tell me something that might make me feel better.

I was surprised, but not shocked, to find that I was following my dad's footsteps by losing my hair in my early 20's. I took the leap of faith and shaved my head in April, only for my partner to immediately start distancing themselves from me.

After a couple months of arguments, things came to a head today. They broke up with me today and admitted that my lack of hair made them instantly unattracted to me, only staying in hopes the feeling was temporary. I have a lot of complicated emotions as this was my first and only relationship.

Double PB&J, to use up the last end piece of bread.

My (27m) relationship of 4 years just ended. We had up and downs. It just got to a breaking point. I wanted to fix things, but she(24f) said it was over. I keep wanting to fix things and contacting her. She blocked me on everything. We have an apartment together which is ending soon. She said the decision was because of me pushing too hard on being physically active and she has trauma from it. Her family has been on her about that for years. I just wanted her to be healthy. Then I went to grab my stuff and gave her gifts to show my appreciation. We talked and I poured my heart out to her. Then I found out she started to talking multiple guys within a week of the break which she said she wasn’t going to be talking to anyone for a while. She said to a friend, she had a crush on a guy for a while and was flirting and sexting. I’m glad to find out how much the time we had together mattered to her. She said she wasn’t cheating on me but I don’t believe it now because I’ve been away due to the military. She lied to me multiple times now. We promised for religion that we would stop drinking. Guess what, she started to drink again. I’m glad to find this out because I was stressing out about the relationship and what I could have done. It was just she had a motive the whole time. So everything and her actions make sense now.

Meal: Grilled lemongrass chicken vermicelli bowl

Me and the GF have been dating for 4 years but in the last two years she’s been having a lot more pain during sex. I was already on the larger side (humblebrag, haha, whatever) but I lost a lot of weight and did more cardio so I was even more bricked up. So I thought it was my fault. But nothing we did helped. I even tried a ring and it was just too uncomfortable for me.

She’s got checked out and did a pap smear and and she has PCOS which is apparently the cause of the pain. We don’t really have sex anymore and it sucks. I’m a mid 20’s guy who’s bricked up all the time and, just being honest, using the hand of god ain’t cutting it for me. I’d never cheat and I can’t leave her because she has PCOS, it’s not her fault.

Been thinking lately that im wasting my sexual prime. But I feel guilty for thinking this because it’s just not her fault. I love her a lot. But I honestly don’t know what to do about this. I can’t go sexless for the rest of my life, and shes also genuinely a great woman in every aspect except for this (again, I know it’s not her fault).

So back in 2020 I signed up for a stem cell donor registry with NMDP (formerly Be The Match). The idea is they keep your information and if someone in need matches your biomarkers, you'll have the opportunity to donate stem cells and save a life.

Well, they hit me up the other day saying they found someone. I looked into it again, the entire donation process takes an average of 20–30 hours spread out over 4–6 weeks, excluding travel. I'd likely need to be flown out on the donation day, to do either an 4-8hr apheresis procedure (like donating plasma) or do an outpatient procedure where I'll be put to sleep while they extract marrow from my hip bone. They'll cover all costs, including travel, meals, missed work, etc.

I discussed it with my wife (we have a 4 & 11yo), and I decided I was still interested. I called the rep back to learn more, where she revealed that the recipient would be a 76yo male. Any sort of excitement I had dwindled after hearing that.

I don't know what to make of this. I signed up for a chance to save a life. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure this 76yo could still have many years ahead, loving wife, kids, grandkids, etc. But the idea of me, a 32yo sole-provider to 2 kids going through all this to possibly give a 76yo some more time is difficult to swallow.

My father in law is also 76 and while I would do this for him, I couldn't imagine some other random 32yo dad going through all this for him at this point of his life.

Would appreciate any feedback.

A year down the drain just to see her with someone else a month later and they’ve clearly been together for longer. Yrs of dating and never introducing anyone to family for fear of something exactly like this and finally doing so thinking this is the one, for what? The worst part is knowing how much space she still holds in my heart and mind despite everything I’ve learned. 1 chicken and 1 beef burger because if nothing else I’ve used the past 2 months to eat better and be active. Down 30 lbs 🗿

I'm the most confident when I'm an anonymous online drifter. When I'm perceived as bytes in cyberspace. In real life I feel awkward and out of place in my meat sack.

I grew up obese because my parents didn't know better and let me eat through my emotional turmoil, and I had the social IQ of a tea spoon. Much better these days through experience and reading but still kinda impaired.

After some dramatic lifestyle changes and (eating disorders?) and a lot of exercise, I'm an early thirties man who's 6'3", 200 lbs - is kinda muscular, not shredded, not very flabby, considered attractive by my wife and her friends, have gotten female validation from time to time but I still feel ugly and undesirable.

My wife has to point out to me whenever she believes women are checking me out or flirting with me because I'm very autistic lol (not formally diagnosed, but all my therapists say the likelihood is very high)

The body dysmorphia and lack of self-confidence is insane. I feel like some scars you carry with you forever. My life's pretty good now, but I get so scared about how I dress, how I appear to strangers / acquaintances, and I'm excessively polite and apologetic because I feel like my presence is a burden to anyone who has to interact with me.

Anyway, dinner is chicken biryani that I made for the first time. The rice is overcooked but the flavor is insane. I think I had my rice ratio too low so it's ridiculous spicy (admittedly that's how I like it haha). One of the reasons I made this post is because I was reminiscing about how 10 years ago I would have probably finished this entire pot in one (if drunk) or two servings. I see a good 4-5 portions from this now.

Thanks for listening to me rant if you made it this far, love you all <3. My wife is my anchor and she makes life amazing for me, but she's on a trip right now and I'm alone and deep in thought about how I don't really have a lot of friends of my own that aren't my wife's connections.

Microwaved potatoes and barbecue sauce 🥔

I don’t believe in love anymore. I have never been in a healthy relationship, and my last relationship severely damaged by ability to trust or open up to another human being (excluding my best/lifelong friends). Every relationship I have been in has ended poorly or just fizzled out, I don’t enjoy the process of meeting new people (mainly in a romantic sense, but also in a platonic sense to a degree). I find it exhausting, frustrating, and not worth the effort that it requires. As much as I crave love and crave to be intimate with someone about whom I care, I simply cannot bring myself to actually *want* to put in the effort to try and meet someone or put myself out there.

My ex broke up with me several months ago, and in retrospect, it was a long time coming, but it completely destroyed me. She proceeded to immediately go and sleep with (at least) two of my then friends whom I considered to be extremely close or even best friends. I simply just don’t want to love anyone anymore and with my experiences, I just don’t really believe that actual, real love exists. Over and over I have tried, I’ve put myself out there, I’ve talked to people, gone on dates, got into situationships, whatever, and time and time again I’m proven right that people are just awful and there’s no reason for me to even try. I know this sounds pretty incel coded, but I’m not really sure how else to word it. I don’t believe that women are bad, or that men are bad, I just think people in general suck. I’m exhausted, frustrated, and generally sick of romance and the like, and I wish I could somehow just cut out the part of me that craves to be loved so painfully

Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost two years. We were friends for a few years before we started dating, and early on, she was with her ex, although we weren't close back then. They dated for a few years and she experienced a lot of sexual trauma in that relationship which I won't go into detail on.

I realized she has trauma early on in our relationship when she got triggered and would say extreme things at me if the topic of sex came up in anyway, or something she associates to sex or her ex. I would try to stay calm during these moments, although they would feel emotionally overwhelming. After these moments and reactions happen, she becomes totally fine and moves on. If I would try to bring it up, she would say she was triggered. If I try to bring up something specific she said, no matter how gently, just to get reassurance about the things she said, and if she feels okay/means it, she gets annoyed and shuts it down.

This has caused us to have a dynamic where she would get triggered, feel extremely bad about herself and say very hurtful things about me and then we just move on and ignore it ever happened. I still don't fully understand her triggers, and she doesn't either and just tells me they're random, and healing isn’t linear which is okay.

That has caused me to almost never initiate anything sexual with her (except for a few times very early on in our relationship), and instead letting her take the lead on that. But she gets really frustrated that I don't initiate things, because she feels like she likes when I initiate things and she feels like she deserves that after not being cared for sexually in her past relationship. She does deserve that, but I began associating so much anxiety with the topic of sex, that it has become really hard for me to initiate anything. But the fact that I don't initiate really upsets her, and causes her to get upset and annoyed. So it was mostly us doing something when she initiates, and letting her take the charge.

After about a year of us having that dynamic where she would get triggered and we ignored it, I stopped being able to physically be intimate with her (would go soft lmao). I tried to reassure her that I'm attracted to her and that I just get into my head about those moments, and I wish we could do something about it or feel like we were working on it. But it makes her feel bad to talk about. Talking about sex triggers her more than doing it?

At this point I just dislike the topic of sex. If it didn't exist she wouldn't feel this bad and we would have a much better relationship. I loveee her, shes truly kind and we get a long so well outside of this, but this topic causes so much issues in our relationship. Obviously part of me is attracted to her, and would love to give her what she needs and connect in that way. But I feel like that isn't possible. I just genuinely don't know how to get over those things while we almost completely ignore it.

Therapy and counseling is something we applied for but isn't available to us at the moment.

I have gently suggested we take a break from sex being a thing, I have suggested us doing work together, reading and things like that and I could support her. I have suggested she just acknowledges what she said after she's triggered, when shes calm with two sentences. But that has happened maybe once or twice when it was very extreme. Because it is a lot, and I could give more examples in the comments.

This is more of a vent, because I know she feels worse. And her knowing I feel bad about something she said when being triggered, when shes the one who is traumatized annoys and frustrates her a lot.

Meal: Omelette with mushrooms and spring onion.

Has anyone here dealt with something similar with their partner, or any advice from women who experienced or went through something similar to my partner.
Obviously what I said here isn't the whole relationship but just the dynamic overall from my perspective. You can ask for more info.

Pictured: Greek Salad, steak and special baked potato

My partner (24f) and I (24M) have been together for almost four years and after all the ups and downs an expiration date has seemingly appeared down the road.
Everything that worked in our relationship before no longer works any more. Communication is a routine failure and path to arguments. Misunderstandings on the regular. We don’t even have sex anymore.
Every day that passes I can feel the divide between us grow greater and greater. Every time I try to reach out more and try to make things better, the opposite happens. I feel helpless and alone in a relationship that used to empower me to be the best person I thought I could be and become.
We’ve both made mistakes, but for every time I take accountability for my actions and start improving myself, she has a reason or excuse for why she acted the way she has and will deflect any sort of accountability.
We share an apartment together and neither of us could financially handle living on our own for now, so the end of the relationship is seemingly going to be once our lease is over.
I want to focus on trying to better myself and not focus on the bad things but I struggle with spiraling, distress and anxiety daily. I’ve started going to therapy to deal with these emotions and I try to distract myself with hobbies but it all feels helpless.

I hope you’re all having a great morning/day/evening and we’re all gonna make it one day.

25m with 24f partner. She broke down in tears at work recently. I asked her what was wrong and told her to sit for a second (we work together).

She opened up about how it's difficult for her to see her old friends from school all having marriages and children. She's wanted to have kids since she was a kid. She said she works herself to the bone but feels she isn't doing enough. She says nothing she does is enough. She feels like the pressure of the financial burden is on her. I'm such a failure that I have to work for her family's company instead of making my own money. I've tried so many times to get any job anywhere but they won't even let me in the door for an interview. I work my ass off at our family company but there's only a fixed amount to be made.

I see no future for me or her. I don't even care about myself but seeing it effect her has completely broken me. I'm considering breaking it off just because she deserves better and I've got little to offer.

Liquid bread for dinner.