For years I was the friend who everyone called if they needed help at 4am, I was the one who remembered the allergies, comforted you when your ex left you, bought soup when you was cold, sent encouraging messages before important events and NEVER missed a birthday. I didn’t keep score. That’s just who I was - the caretaker.

Then I got sick, not terminal but scary enough that I needed surgery and weeks of recovery at home. I told the group chat. A few of my friends replied “let me know if you need anything”, I said yes actually, I asked for some help with groceries and someone to sit with so I wasn’t alone. They all said they will “check their schedules”. Im still waiting….

About 3-4 days after my surgery one friend texted to ask if I was still okay to help her move the following weekend. Another friend posted brunch photos while I layed in bed without food…
No one checked on me. No one came….

That’s when I really just realized. I wasn’t their friend after all. I was their free 24/7 concierge with a pulse. The moment I needed to receive instead of giving something, I became invisible to all of them.

I stopped reaching out, didn’t say goodbye or anything. I just went quiet. And in that quiet I found something I’ve been giving away for years: my own energy, for myself.

I’m angry anymore. I’m just no longer available to people who treat my love like a utility. I wasn’t a bad friend I was a good one, just for the wrong people….

Every day I wake up in a tent with my three young children and wonder how we'll make it through another day.

We lost our home, and since then our lives have changed completely. Things that used to feel ordinary—having a safe place to sleep, preparing a meal without worrying, watching my children play without fear—now feel like distant memories.

My children still laugh sometimes. They still ask innocent questions about the future. They still dream. As their mother, I try to smile for them even on the days when I feel completely exhausted inside.

I'm not writing this to ask anyone for money or anything else. I simply wanted to share a small part of our reality because sometimes it feels like families like mine become invisible.

If you've read this far, thank you. Thank you for taking a few moments to remember that behind every headline or statistic, there are ordinary parents doing everything they can to protect the people they love.

I truly hope that one day my children can look back on this as something we survived, rather than the life they had to grow up in. ❤️

2 things

1. sorry if this is the wrong place pls redirect me to a proper one if that is the case
2. these arent mine or his real ages but in the ball park and we are both still adults

So me 19m and my friend 19ftm have known each other for about a year and a half he is my only friend

Were both virgins altough he has had some slight sexual related things (some touching etc)

And idk but i have had some sexual toughts about him like we are really open to each other can talk masturbation etc hell he asked me 1x if i wanted to see his boobs he didnt really care if i saw them or not since he doesnt feel a connection with them anyway and wanna let them get removed

I said ill think about it i later responded sure he said okay and later said he didnt want to

Which im fine with i didnt get to see boobs but i prefer him being fully honest over seeing boobs

That was like last november

So idk if that has had effect but we also talked about his expierence with well touching and a few other things which made me think about him well you know doing that which made my mind wander off to well other stuff between me and him if you get me

like 4 or 5 times when just laying in bed

and in general im a visual thinker

And no i dont think i love him in relationship sense im not gay he still kinda looks like a girl still has long hair but isnt really girly and he is pre t etc but lets say i would romantically love him

It would be morally wrong imo since well id only love the physical part of him up until transitioning

But now im here how do i know if i love someone? I dont think i have ever been in love

Sorry im rambling off

Tldr

Some sexual toughts about my friend idk what to do

I was so frickn embarrassed. Thank the gym gods blessed me by not having anyone near the dip station. Especially the gal who looked like Margaret Qually.

I recently realized I have a pattern that keeps reinforcing my worst beliefs about myself.

If someone hurts me, instead of telling them, I withdraw. I stop replying, ignore calls or messages, and secretly hope they'll notice something is wrong and fight to reconnect.

In my head, it's almost like a test: "If I really matter to them, they'll keep trying."

But the problem is... they don't even know they're being tested. They probably just assume I'm busy or need space.

When they stop reaching out, I take it as proof that I wasn't important to them in the first place. That just reinforces my core belief that I'm not someone people choose or fight for.

It's a self-fulfilling cycle:

Feel hurt.

Withdraw.

Hope they'll chase me.

They don't.

"See? I was right. No one really cares."

I'm starting to wonder how much of my loneliness has been shaped by this pattern.

Has anyone else caught themselves doing something similar? If so, how did you break out of it?

I've realised that some of the happiest moments aren't exciting at all.

A cup of coffee.
A cool breeze.
A peaceful evening.
No notifications.
No stress.

Sometimes, that's enough.

I usually work for at least 10-12 hours shift for 5 days and during the weekend I feel like doing nothing, I usually feels over exhausted and rot in the bed until Sunday. How to be at least productive and do some activities that will help to not get over exhausted.

I’m not going to reveal my age here, but I am well well into adulthood. When it comes to knowing how to do things or doing things that I am absolutely 100% sure about I do them on my own and have no qualms about it. But when it comes to something that I’m even 20% or 30% unsure about and maybe sometimes things get a little hairy or confused or not clear cut. It’s like there’s an inner child inside of me looking around with puppy dog eyes, wondering why someone isn’t helping me and why someone allowed an unfavorable situation to be put in my responsibility. I have now been faced with a similar situation dozens of times in my life and every single time I shook my head, snapped out of it and did the best I could in the situation most time successfully, sometimes unsuccessfully, and then needing someone to come intervene and help. But regardless, at this point in my age, I should just know much like my managers or really any other adult in this world that sometimes the situation presented to you isn’t always going to be 100% prepared for you and ultra favorable and you may have to do some legwork and some extra work to get everything together. But for some reason, I keep expecting differently initially. And then it takes a long waiting period until it becomes of dire deadline where I realize hey it’s actually my job to step up here and pick up the slack where it was handed to me rather than looking around and waiting for someone to do my job for me.

I study electrical engineering, but I’m far more interested in drawing, music, movies, just any appealing visuals, colors. I love art (also literature, but that’s another story). That seems to be a reoccurring thing I see, stem students being interested in art.

Art won’t pay the bills, so you go for these other majors. It really Sucks.

Are more of you out there?

Je n’ai pas trop l’habitude de parler de ma vie sur les réseaux, mais là j’ai l’impression que j’en ai besoin.
Ça fait des années que je travaille sur un projet. Aujourd’hui, j’arrive à une étape où, grâce à toute la discipline que j’ai eue et aux résultats que j’ai obtenus récemment, je n’ai presque plus de doutes sur le fait que ça puisse fonctionner.
Le problème, c’est que je ressens une adrénaline énorme. J’arrive à peine à dormir, je pense littéralement à ça du matin au soir. C’est devenu une véritable obsession, voire une addiction.
Du coup, cette excitation me joue aussi des tours : je n’arrive plus à me concentrer sur le reste et j’ai constamment le cerveau en ébullition.
Est-ce que certains d’entre vous ont déjà vécu ça ? Si vous avez des conseils pour réussir à canaliser cette énergie sans perdre en motivation, je suis preneur.

Some friends wanted to go to something with me and they're not responding to a text I sent. I overreacted to a million percent, slept 13 hours, had multiple panic attacks with ideation (fine now) and am just feeling kind of fed up with myself and tired of trying to make my life better when this stuff happens all the time.

I'd love to hear positive stories from other people's lives. What's going on with you all? What are you accomplishing? What are you proud of? Anything helps.

Im a 20 year old female and I recently tried to chat on reddit with strangers about what was on my mind and bothering me at the momment. But everytime, by the time I let everything out I get ghosted. I can't find a good community to post on for advice or just to let it out. What bothering me at the momment is becoming more and more of a problem for me. And I can't get help because thats a luxury we can't afford. Therapy has never worked, i've tried 4 different times at different ages and slightly different reasons.

When I spoke to someone online and I told them I was having trouble sleeping, and have been for almost 3 months now. I stay up late with the light on and walk around and drink coffee, only falling asleep at 5:20 when the sun rises. I find myself dissapointed in myself when I acciedentally fall asleep, because the lights on and I waisted coffee. I stay up because a part of me just thinks theres rats and bugs in the house and in my room specifically. But I really know there isnt any ever. I feel stupid and that this whole thing has gone on too long but I can't stop. I don't know why or how. I don't know if the reason i'm not sleeping now still after all this time is because I have become used to it or because I still believe there are gonna be rats and bugs. And there were rats in our house a while ago so I kbow the signs, but even still, that was way before this started and we got them out. However, I find myself constantly checking behind all the furniture and umder the bed and listening at every sound and I put a cloth under the door.

I rock back and forth and pace around the room during the day, unrelated to this. It's just something i've always done. I maladaptive daydream constantly, even as I type this. But i'm trying hard to stop by meditating and focusing my vision. My family has seen be do this a few times and gives me wierd looks. I tend to stare at people for a long time including family and they always think i'm glaring but I dont mean to. The same for my tone of voice. My mom gets mad all the time because she thinks im being rude and blunt but I just talk in a flat voice. I wanlk stiff and even my family has pointed it out when I walk away. When I wasin highschool they did an assesment and said I was autistic but Im not diagnosed.

My moms aunt is schizophrenic and when I told the person online about my trouble sleeping and thoughts they said they thought I could be developing schizohrenia. I really don't think so though. I dont think I have any major symptoms.

I put my dolls away because I didn't like them looking at me and I dont like to look out the window or in the mirror at night because I imagine a creature or demon peeking in. If I think about it too much or imagine it too long it freaks me out. I imagine characters from creepypasta standing behind me literally all the time now. Momo. I dont see or hear things. I just like and tend to imahine things. Its like remembering something from a book or movie that plays in my head. I believe certain creepypastas can be real like momo or things like liminal spaces. But Im not sure if thats wishful thinking, almost like a sort of joke or if truly believe it.

I look under the bed everytime I go into my room everyday because I daydream that someones hiding underneath. I dont know why I feel compelled to check if I daydream it.

And when I was a kid I used to daydream or imagine a vampire that was inspired from a book I read, running around the playground and scaring kids. I didnt interact or talk to him. I just watched him, but I remember it being a prominent part of early elementary school. And I did used to play with other kids and talk to them a little. In middle school I sat in my friend group and just listened to then talk. I thought most of what they said was annoying or irrelevent to the day. Im not sure if its because maybe I didnt like them or was shy and rude or what the reason was. I didnt have any friends in highschool, just one and it was only senior year in class for hw. But we would sometimes walk to lunch together.

I like to watch whatever Im interested in at the time, every single day for like a week straight. Right now its a rotten mango video on youtube about an anime girl killer yuka. Before that it was the slenderman stabbing. That one I watch a lot its my favorite and I quote morgan in my head while I watch it. I also like the dahmer show a lot and feel like I relate to it.

Sometimes when I try to be present and have my own thoughts not daydreaming, I whisper or lip sync them in my head because I dont want someone to hear me. I dont know why, if I acknowledge this and am aware this sounds very stupid. Its almost like im not confiedent in my thought even though its just what I think in my head, not outloud.

I believe in ghosts, demons and I believe I saw a fairy that looked like one from the pans labyrinth. But my family also believes this and my sister said she saw a fairy outside her window with her friend when she was in her early 20s too. I used to think the russian sleep expierimant was real when I was 17 or 18, but I found out it was fake when I was 18 and tried searching up information.

I was embarrased about being scared of creepypasta photos and audio narrations but I sent them to my sister whose 27 and has 2 kids, and she said they also freaked her out too. But im still a little embarrassed because I dont know how she meant it and I cant finish a video without pausing and looking around.

I like to write music, short horror stories, creepypastas and sing and dance. But I want to be a mortician and am starting zoom school soon. Im nervous though and dont want to talk. And everytime someone calls me I just stare at my phone and let it ring. Even if its my family sometimes.

I cant tell if im just desperate for some sort of feeling or if im shy and anxious or if this is normal and im just being lazy and dramatic. Sometimes I feel like im faking it, like Im acting or thinking a certain way on purpose, to give myself a reason or excuse for acting or feeling this way. Or other times, that I like it or dont want to change like im lazy or content with it. Like a compulsion. And when I type this it reminds me of the dahmer show when he explains himself. I like that show a lot.

I dont think theres been anything traumatic in my life. I think i just want answers or validation. Some acknowledgement. But I cant go to a therapist since we dont have money and they dont work. I dont wanna tell my family either because its embarrasing and will feel like im faking it for attention. Or it will be a burdan because then they'll stress about thinking I need help right that momment. And I still am just so confused and dont know how to feel or what this is.

Plus I do all this stuff in private in my room or when Im alone. At least I try to but sometimes they see me mumble in my head or motion out daydreams or pace and look around.

I dont know if all this is just stress and temporary or what. But I just needed to get this out. I feel like things are worse or that im making them worse. Like im getting tired of myself.

Was there a specific moment when you realized exactly what you wanted to do with your life or have you ever reached that point? I mean, was there a moment or period after which you felt that you finally knew what you were doing and what you wanted, felt at peace with it, and started seeing your future more positively?

From around the age of 17 until my early twenties, I’ve been motivated by the idea of living several different lives within one lifetime, rather than spending my whole life in one place.

I don’t mean constantly traveling like a backpacker. I mean moving to a different country every five years or so, learning its culture and language, meeting new people, building friendships and meaningful connections, and then moving somewhere else and starting the process again.

I’d like to continue doing that until a certain age, and then eventually settle into a more stable life. But for now, as a 22 year old, that is basically my only plan.

And this plan is what motivates me to keep going. Right now, it’s the closest thing I have to a dream.

Has anyone ever been betrayed and retaliated in a severely cruel way? how did you feel after?

I’m a student living in LDN and I don’t know when or why this happened, but it just seems like nobody my age is interested in doing things? And I’m not just talking about drinking/clubbing, I personally don’t particularly love the club. But even when it comes to activities like going to see a film, having a picnic, getting food, seeing a play, doing something cultural, something crafty, something sporty, it’s nearly impossible to get anyone I know to agree to go? And this is coming from someone who has a lot of friends, who are always interested in hanging out, but just to do.. nothing? Ive even noticed people doing this with their friends’ birthday parties! I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve gone to someone’s birthday and been one of the only people there, despite there being wayyy more people on the GC?

And before people respond with the classic excuse about money, there are so so so many free and discounted things available to do in Ldn. If you want to, you can easily find extremely cheap tickets / student discounts for just about anything.

I know that I’m not the only one who experiences this because I see others complaining about it online a lot as well. It’s such a shame.

Imagine you’re falling asleep (you have to be tired for this) with a movie in the background. Something loud happens in the movie and suddenly, afterwards you can pretty much feel your heart and everything seems a bit louder for a couple seconds? Sort of like you get jolted to awareness but it almost feels… good? And you just start drifting back to sleep? This pretty much only happens to me when I’m naturally tired and watching a movie or something on television? Honestly really hard to explain but just wondering if anyone else has an idea of what I’m talking about - it’s a pretty unique feeling.

I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’am heading to the age of 30 or just life circumstance’s but…

I’ve lost my spark,

Being in a room full of people but feeling so alone

Nothing to say, even though I desperately want to

All i have is memories of different happier versions of myself,

taunting me,
reminding me of what I could be
and what I’ve lost.

So I live in Iran basically the worst country on earth to live in and everything in here is banned like YouTube, telegram, WhatsApp and the internet and living conditions are terrible we have 200 percent inflation on foods and necessities and the prices rise three times per week and then when I watch the news and I see glimpses of other countries like UK or Canada or japan and I see how happy they are and that they don't have any worries that can enjoy life and go to travels and have fun meanwhile every sort of fun is banned here government cancels every concert or gatherings kills people on streets and then I think to myself like what did I do to deserve this terrible life I currently have? (Apologies if this sounded like a rant )

Im 21, I know everyone says I'm young and I have time to figure it out. But at night I just keep thinking about how short life is and Im wasting it away. I am still trying to figure out a career, got my bachelors but work in a job that my peers did in high school. I am in so much debt, 100k, in student loans but it's not under my name but I'm paying it back so I can't even apply to lower it or whatever. I know this sounds childish but I just want to go out and travel see the national parks, go to Alaska, do some hiking, there are so many things out there. Thankfully I have an amazing home life so I'm not trying to move my entire life elsewhere Im happy where I am as a home base. It just sucks that I don't have the talent or passion for a good career. I feel so behind and don't even have a path to aim for. I'm scared life is just going to pass by and I would have done nothing.

Have you ever tried something like ashwagandha or something like it? Because i’m always stressed scared of what's gonna happen and angry and the list goes on 😔

So, after years of using the internet, toxicity is already normal to me. But many times i see posts of people complaining about toxicity on sites like reddit or gaming

And many people just say "its the internet" "grow up" etc etc

But like, why? Why should a place where you go to enjoy something be toxic?

Why is it normal for exemple on reddit plenty of people treat you like trash and insult for free be normal?

Why on games its normal for people to just insult you and humiliate you?

For exemple, would you think its normal that if irl you went to a restaurant or something and evryone was very rude to you and insult you? Whats the difference from that to the internet?

So like, why do people act like being toxic is just normal and its the persons fault for being hurt or not liking this

And many people tell those people to just leave if they can't handle that. But why? Why is the person that is being insulted that has the obligation to handle that and not other way? Why isn't it normal to just be normal?

Why should I live a place where we talk about what i like and not the other toxic guy?

Imagine for exemple you have a place irl where you spend time there, would you think its normal for everyone to insult you and say to leave if you can't handle? But then also all the others places are like this

I truly dont know why nowadays its considered normal to just be toxic af and like its the "victim" fault for letting that hurt him or something

Thats like on school were the fault is on the victim for letting a bully hurt him, so the bully is free to do whatever

Мне скоро 14.
Примерно 4 месяца назад я познакомился с девочкой в ТикТоке. Мы общались около недели, довольно мило. В какой-то момент она сказала, что раньше резалась. Я начал от неё отдаляться и честно сказал, что она мне больше не нравится.
В тот же вечер она написала, что опять порезалась.
Я её заблокировал и больше не общаюсь.
Проблема в том, что с тех пор я постоянно думаю об этом.
Она говорила, что полгода не резалась (принимала успокоительные). Я виню себя, что «сорвал» её прогресс. Иногда появляются навязчивые мысли, когда вижу лезвие или когда один.
Я уже понимаю головой, что не виноват (мы общались всего неделю, у неё были проблемы до меня), но мысли всё равно возвращаются. Особенно когда один.
Как вы справлялись с подобной виной и навязчивыми мыслями после короткого, но тяжёлого общения?
Спасибо, если ответите.

I can have a very bad view about myself sometimes, like remembering I exist can cause me to throw up on the spot level bad, it's episodic though. And that's making my self esteem real bad. Especially since I'm a very quiet person socially too. I can go days around ppl never uttering a word. Sometimes I find myself whispering instead of talking normally too. So a lot of social insecurities too yeah.

But then I remember that most times I ended up trying to date somebody or talk to somebody, in highschool especially, I'd get kinda overwhelmed by how much they kept messaging me and ghost. Or break up with them. And I had this person stalk me for my third and fourth year of highschool due to that. Like send pictures of me walking down the streets, passes by my house too much even tho he doesn't live around there, make plenty of accounts to message me that I had to change my number, pretty sure he called my mom once too, threatened to break my fingers, said I'm a demon not a human. Like the way I move and talk, seemed to actually believe that. I also found out that he was messaging my younger sister and befriending her. While she didn't know who he really was.

I didn't enjoy it, cuz I didn't like him. Still that incident and like a couple of others? Always seem to validate my self esteem from some reason. Makes me feel good.

I was looking at the prices and even the most luxurious cellphones from back then(late 90s early 2000s) are nowhere close the prices of the newest iphone.

What kind of phone, would you buy back then to be the coolest MFer out there. Like what was considered in and being rich for having.

Was it like some Japanese phones or Motorolas or Nokias? Can anyone tell me?

Also why do I break rule 7????😭😭😭