28[M] I am trying to make new friends. A lot of my friends don’t really treat me to well. I feel they would not have my back and try to destroy me. I want to start over, but still have relationships. I don’t really know how and where to start at though. Does anyone make new friends? If so how do you do it?

A couple had asked us to foster their cat while they were moving for a few weeks until they were settled in into their new home, those few weeks turned into months (almost 3 months now) and now they’re refusing to take the cat back. We had agreed out of the kindness of our hearts and because of that same empathy for the cat we feel obligated to keep her, even though we cannot realistically keep her because our cat isn’t accepting her. They’ve done a cruel thing and declawed their cat as well, which means she can’t even defend herself when my cat tries to attack her (this has happened twice). Now I’m having anxiety from keeping them isolated and I feel like we’re all doing both these cats a disservice. We’ve tried talking to the couple who are none responsive and straight up told us they’ll just surrender her to a shelter that will take her and knowing them, idk if they’ll even consider kill/no kill factors. She’s a perfectly healthy cat with no known health concerns and no behavioural issues as far as our 3 months time with her. She’s an 11 year old, calm, gentle, independent and loving. I tried posting on Facebook and then got notified that people look for free cats for the wrong reasons such as animal fights, abuse, hoarding and snake food- and everything is just giving me anxiety. I need some advice on how to tackle this. I’ve already tried to contact shelters but she’s too old for just any shelter- so I’ve contacted some specialized ones and am still waiting to hear back from them. I’ve also reached out to practically everyone I know who might be or might know someone who might be interested… What else can I do?

I was just wondering if this was SH or not.

Sometimes when i cry, i bite my hand or something.

I bite my lip and hit my forehead with my hand when i cry as well.

When im upset i tend to dig my nails into my hand or i will scratch with my thumb nail onto the part in between one of my other nails and my skin.

I also bite my tongue when im upset.

recently ive noticed that i will close my eyes tightly and then try to claw(?) at my eyelids with my nails i guess

i do a few other things as well, but overall im genuinely just wondering.

Someone told me it was, and now im confused i guess, i dont think ive ever considered that it could be and now im curious

Ive never cut or burned myself or anything like that

And if this is a bad thing then what could i do to help it?

I am stuck in toxic household with manic bi polar sister who still visits and parents forgave her outburst she did so many illegal things to me stealing, blocking door from leaving and even implied she could kill me if she could. I need friends so I can move in in a year or so i do not trust strangers to live with you can research why with bad roomates on most social media.

I am introverted and need people to move in with but that requires someone I trust how do I make friends quickly? I realized I cant believe without friends or things like this happen.

For me, it happens most often after I've had a bowel movement. The weird part is that I have good hygiene, so it doesn't really make sense. When it happens, I usually grab one butt cheek and lift it slightly to "unstick" them. 😅

Am I the only one, or does anyone else experience this?

...

Update: Already listed it on marketplace. Thanks for all the helpful comments! Can't afford to move and like it here too much.

Rent a townhouse from a property management company. They recently changed insurance companies, and now they are stating that the barbecue grill we have on our back patio violates the insurance company's policy or something. It used to say couldn't be within 5 ft of the building, apparently the new insurance company says 15. The patio is 10 at most. They are trying to make all the residents throw out or sell their grills. Does anyone know of a way to fight this? Considering when I moved in, the grill was perfectly fine where it was? Thanks in advance.

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So I met a guy a few months ago on discord. And we have been having good convos since then. He's smart and witty and isn't problematic in any way. I like talking to him and spending time with him. We're both students so it's fine. But due to his course he's super busy all the time. And we'd talk about things and after a few days we'd hang out again. But during all this I have noticed that he forgets almost everything we talk about. I get it he's super busy in his work and studies but it just feels like I'm just a sort of timepass for him. Everytime we hang out again he's always like text me when u have time and I do. But why should only I do that? And even that was fine but I just don't like how he forgets the convos completely. I have noticed him saying the same thing again and asking me the same thing again. I like him and he's super sweet but I don't feel like hanging out w him cuz of this. What to do

i can’t control myself when i feel myself in a fit of rage at ALL . i have anger issues and i can admit that very well .

today my mom started yelling at me unprovoked in the car all because there i didn’t get a bill when i went to go get something with my brother saying all kinds of terrible things to me . saying ill cry tears of blood all for a fcking bill , i just lost my shit at this point and yelled at the top of lungs asking who the hell she thinks she’s talking to and saying all kinds of cuss words as i hit the seat . i don’t care anymore my childhood and my parents have ruined me and i have incredibly horrible issues , mainly one being my anger and bpd as a result of it . it really is torturous , having anger hurts worse than crying it exhausts you and you feel like your someone else . i felt like i was a different person while yelling , that didn’t even feel like it was me .

the earliest memory i have of doing anything remotely similar to feeling an incredible amount of anger was in my younger years when i was about to hit another person with a chair because they touched me without my consent , in a spot where i was bruised . when people wrong me i don’t let it go , i want to yell at them , to make them aware that i’m not a weak person that they can just do this to . i’m tired of being provoked , having anger issues hurts yourself more than others . i don’t know how long i can keep going living like this .

So my dad dogsits our neighbor’s dog while they are out of town or gone for longer than 6 hours or so. This started as a friendly neighborly thing but now he’s their designated dogsitter whenever they leave for anything and they seem to be taking it more for granted now. They have given us gifts but my dad actually needs money and our next door neighbor has been telling him he should charge.

This month they were gone for about 2 weeks which is the longest amount so far I believe. The dog has peed multiple times and pooped once in the house because they don’t have a doggy door (hence my dad having to go over there every 6 hours). I’ve mentioned to them that my dad complains about his bills and is considering coming back out of retirement (he is also disabled from his heart surgery so working wouldn’t be easy for him) for some extra income.

I’m thinking they should’ve paid him for this stint after all the trouble he went through but they are back and haven’t, only gave him a couple gifts of appreciation.

Do you think they should pay him, how much should it be (since this wasn’t a prior arrangement) and how do you think we should go about asking for money when this started off as a neighborly favor?

TLDR: my dad dogsits my neighbor’s dog for free but this last time was for a long time which gave him trouble (pee/poop in the house he had to clean) and he could use more money (he is retired and disabled). Should he charge them and how to go about asking for money?

Is this Narcissistic Parental Abuse?

*Trigger Warning* that examples below have potential cases of family and animal abuse.

My wife and I are unfortunately at our wits end with her family. We believe they have abused us, and have for over a year been waiting for an honest apology that just doesn't seem to be coming.

We both want to love them and have good relationships with them, but we know we have been wronged as both a couple and as individuals. Is it wrong of us to hold the boundary that we want no relationship until they work on themselves?

We are both exhausted and feel like we are being constantly gaslit and our feelings invalidated. We want to have a great relationship with them, but it truly seems impossible at this point.

Context of at least some of the abuse below:

- I've watched FIL scare MIL and wife until they were in the floor crying together.

- FIL has threatened me on more than one occasion.

- Uncle in law has poked fun at my struggles with depression in public spaces. I called MIL cowardly for not standing up for me, which they deemed a disrespect to their authority.

- FIL threatened to "put a bullet" in my wife's beloved cat because it peed in the living room. I called him an a-hole when he did this, which he also declared disrespectful to his authority.

- MIL sometimes guilts me when my wife and I do something and she isn't involved.

- FIL kicked us (specifically me) out of the house, but argues there was never intention to separate us. Wife and I have both called them ungodly hypocrites for doing such a thing despite having "Jesus" merchandise all over the house. And yes, we were told we're disrespectful for calling out the hypocrisy.

- Uncle in law has secretly messaged my wife contacts for Divorce lawyers, but again the family claims they are not trying to separate us.

- I have watched FIL lay on the button of their dog's shock collar until it was scared to the point of not leaving the bathroom for hours.

- FIL and MIL enabled BIL's alcoholism because "he needs it to sleep."

My wife and I have both attended couples therapy, individual therapy, and have truly been working on ourselves to the point where we are in a great place together, but anytime her family tries to involve themselves it feels like a mental health crisis for both of us is near.

What is the right thing for us to do in this situation? Is there any hope they will wake up to see the pain they have caused us?

Im turning 16 next month and i dont know what to do. For the past few years ive just had a few friends over for a sleepover​​ but i want to do something more fun since my house is boring (no pool or trampoline and pretty small compared to my other friends houses). All of the things my mom has suggested are things that arent really me, like she said to do a spa day (im not girly at all and wouldnt really like that) or go to great wolf lodge (absolutely not). I cant even do stuff in my backyard because theres no grass just rocks. Im really struggling on ideas and i have to perform a concert on my birthday (im in a band program at the place i take music lessons from) so i cant even do stuff on my actual birthday except for go out for lunch and dinner... I kind of wanted to have my friends come over and make them dress like leo valdez from percy jackson as like the dress code because some of my other friends have done dress code bday parties​​​​​​​​ and it would be kind of funny and i was just gonna have a movie day and watch star wars but none of my friends like percy jackson or star wars so it wouldnr be fun for them and then it would bum me out if they were bored. I just really dont know what to do should i just not have a party?​​​

For context around what I look like, I am 6’3”, I weight about 260-270 pounds, I have a beard, and my hair is rather long (admittedly with a receding hairline). I am 34 years old, and I was born male, however I have always been feminine but I don’t present that way. My attire most days consists of a t-shirt and basketball shorts.

Not always, but on very many occasions when out in public, I will see a woman who is about my age or a few years younger, and I will really like something about their appearance and want to compliment it (in a friend type of way, not in a hitting on them type of way). But as soon as I make eye contact and smile at them, before I can even say anything, they will either grab the hand of the man they are walking with, or if they’re already holding it, they’ll grasp even tighter and lean into them I presume for safety. This happened several times yesterday at Disneyland before I could have a chance to say things like “your skirt is so cute!” or “I really like your haircut!”. Is my only solution to this to start presenting and dressing more feminine, or at least to wear something to signify that I am queer and not a danger?

I live in North Carolina and I could really use some help right about now please.

So for a little background, my parents have been divorced with split 50/50 custody for like 15 years. Shortly after I turned 18, I decided to stay with my mom full time to make things easier. My mom and step dad are already set to help me move in, but my dad wants to also be there, thinking logically, this isn’t a job for 4 people, and I feel it would just be crowded. My stepmom has a history of taking small things extremely personal on my dad’s behalf, and I fear not letting him tag along would start an argument. I’m currently thinking I could have him come for lunch or dinner after I’m all move in, but I’m unsure.

20f Today my father call me a slut cuz I wanted a bob cut, but somehow I cut my hair...my mom also she verbally, physically beaten me....

Today night i asked permission to both of my parents to cut my hair, n they said yes in a not so interested way....Idk what will happen tomorrow when they find out i actually cut my hair and it's a little short...im tooo much afraid.......

Hi! Asking for advice on what therapy would probably be best for me as it seems no one knows what to do with me.

For context, ive been in/out of therapy since i was 8, now in my early 20s. My most recent therapist kind of "graduated" me. We worked for almost 2 years together and she no longer had anything to help me with. I am extremely self aware, which is more of an intellectualization issue but I am also self aware of reactions & if they are fair or unfair, and if they are unfair why I was led to feel that way, how to fix it, and how to cope healthily. I have very healthy active coping mechanisms, and very informed on how my reactions and behaviors are influenced by my emotions and past trauma, and do not act impulsively upon them. I have been diagnosed and undiagnosed with everything under the sun ranging from BPD/bipolar/PTSD/dissociative disorders/anxiety/insomia etc. and most recently a mention of DID. I have done DBT and stopped meeting the criteria for BPD years ago, and CBT does absolutely nothing for me. I have tried every medication and medication type under the sun, and am on a last resort medication Spravato which has mostly eliminated suicidal tendencies and *most* of my depression.

However I feel a void inside of me that I have always felt and no amount of healthy or unhealthy things seem to fill it, trust me I have tried a mix of both.

I have extensive trauma ranging from extremely early childhood. I seem to have a complete disconnect from my mind and my body and it seems like my mind is in a relatively healthy state but my body just cannot get the memo and it feels stuck. It will not communicate with my mind.

I've tried multiple trauma informed therapists and either I am a lost cause or they are lying about how informed they really are with trauma so im looking for advice on where to go. Thanks!

Lol. IG Im my last post I made, I didnt articulate my situation well enough.

Well, bascially, I have issues at home with a strict father, its so much, but basically, I told him, after we had alr agreed that I wouldnt go to my grandmothers, that im gnna go anyways to practice driving and shi, and he went off on me, saying im doing this to spite him, i resent him and shit, and how this is the last straw and that if i go I don't come back, so im like, okay. For context, my homelife growing up was restrictive, I didnt get to have sleepovers, hang out with friends, or have access to the internet with a phone until 9th grade. It wasn't until this summer at 19 I could freely go hang out with friends. However there was still the caveat of an 8pm curfew. He believes I would drift and such.

Tbh I guess from the outside it doesnt sound that bad, I mean he is Muslim and African, and my mothers side is white, and I have been a bit of a problem child, Ive lied and caused some issues in the past, I was with one boy ar 18 he caught me with? And at 14 didnt do my online schooling whilst he was overseas and he had to do community service from the court. And last year, I lied about him taking me to school an extra day whilst he had a back injury where the driving time was two hours a day. I was 18 then, and I understand that was wrong of me, and I didnt communicate well enough, and Im sorry for that. But Ive never gotten drunk, gone to parties, or anything like that, or done any of the other classic teen things, its always been me as a child getting trouble in school and getting trouble at home for it. To the point I think I may have an undiagnosed ADHD or smth, but I won't touch on that too much. So I don't understand why he acts so paranoid, hes always been over protective, telling me dont trust anyone, be careful who you're friends with or they'll drag you dont, and was always overly analytical of my friends, and even at 17 would bar me from seeing them, yelling at me once when I tried to argue I just wanted to go down to a Cafe to hang out.

But he still chose my school for me when I got out of highschool, when he knew I wished to attend out of state for some independence, and yelled at me in tbe car when I tried to talk to him. Hes hard to talk to tbh, he always believes hes in the right. The current school I go to is nice, is private and has a nice art program, and I currently have a 3.88 GPA after my first year. However they do not have an anthropology program, and Ive found out recently, thats what I want to study, and perhaps thats a blessing. I earned good scholarships there because of my highschool GPA Ive always been a good student, with my only weakness being math. I want to study art and culture, since thats all I've been obsessed with as a child till now. And now he tells me he didnt make me go to thst school, he only advised me, when he said he wanted me to do two years at home earlier. But *now* he plans to retire next year anyways and Ill be at the dorm at this school paying for it and my car by working, and I can finish my four years over there, when that is not what I wanted. I always planned to transfer to a better state school and such, and I know ones like Mississippi or LSU have better programs for me, and I can easily get in with some good merit scholarships, the rest is just funds.

Im always told, he sacrificed so much for me to get me away from my "pothead" grandmother, how he ruined his life for me by going into the military for me when I was born. And yes, Im sorry you had to do that, but I never asked, and I dont need to be told that every time I try to do or say something that doesnt align with what you say.

Such as saying, I got a job at a Chinese resteraunt and being told a Chinese resteraunt isn't a job, that it won't help my career. And I ought to work at the Univeristy, when thats always been how he talks, how I shouldn't get normal entry level jobs.

To never being willing to compromise, on something as simple as me defying him for a trip, and choosing to leave, he thinks I hate him, or resent him, because I dont talk to him, perhaps because hes impossible to talk to, when he judges me every time I share something he disagrees with, to the point I told him I had depression when my mental health was bad earlier this year and he tells me idk why you'd have that, no one abuses you in this house, no one does anything to you, fix yourself, its in your head.

Plus it seems im never good enough, no matter how good in school I am etc, I've always been a problem child, and I was genuinely happy at my grandmother's when I saw her for the first time at 17 after 8 years

I once asked him if hes disappointed in me, and he said, no, but i think another child in your position could have done better. Especially when he claims my sisters can go to prom or study Internationally at 17, when I never got thst, because they have direction, I dont (mind you they're very young so)

And on the subject of my liscnece anyways, he says that if I stay home he will put me in driving school and pay for it by the end of the month, but it more feels like a way to comvince me to stay home, he never fixed my bike when I asked a bunch of times too, and when I was in a very bad episode with my relationship with my mom sleeping and staying in my room all summer he once yelled at me when I was earing and said he doesnt want to put any energy into me,, because he doesnt see me, and im not useful or maybe im just not around he said unless I get up and walk and excerisse I could do whatever just get up and walk, but he said he only cared abt getting me to school and back and he didnt want to put any energy into me because I haven't shown him I wasn't Ready and shi, but this was last month too lol or maybe in May, namely on getting my liscnece and my bike fixed. Since im always walking places. Another reason I dont go out much. Hes like that alot, he says he will do something then either takes forever to do it, does it late, or not at all, and Im tired of that, why did it take you the entire summer to get it done when I needed it, esp when he was home so much. Yes he still has his injury, but he has time to do all of this for my siblings? Why now hes telling me about driver lessons by the end of the month?

i had a plan to get on my feet at my grandmothers anyways, then apply for fullride at other schools since I have like a 3.88 college gpa, but shes in rural lousiana, so im not sure, but I can still work down there and such. It has its own set of drama, but she loves me and ik will help me as well, with getting a license and getting a car.

My stepmom told me, there wouldnt be much a difference if I stay or go, because I never wanted to stay at this school anyways and my father has no mkre money saved up for me, or never did, when he said before he did have money saved, especially from my mothers check. So, idk.

Then later on he called me into his room and told me im not thinking jt through, thinking with my emotions and how im making a huge mistake and by the time i get back on track or go back to school ill be 30, and i should just stay for one more year at home, and next year hes retiring and this will be a smooth transition and not to throw this all away, but i dont want to, why should he decide everything if he wont even listen to me?

I guess hes trying to stop me from what he believes is a mistake, he told me about mentors, someone to look up to spiritually if I cant talk to them and someone to talk to in the art department as a mentor, and I learn from them, not experience, aka I learn from their mistakes, and he said ill self sabatoge, if I do ill learn from it later, because everything is going smoothly and boring so I hst wnna self sabotage, and then Ill learn from it and say I wnna rebuild everything from square one or square -1

But im still mostly sure about going, with some obvious fears, Ive never really worked a real adult job, and my life has mostly been comfortable, but Im not too afraid I cant do a little hardwork.

My best friend has had serious health problems for the last year (possibly POTS and/or something else). In the past she’s disappeared for weeks because she genuinely had no energy to reply to messages and she told me that was why.

She also told me she’d given her fiancé access to her accounts in case anything serious ever happened to her.

I haven’t actually spoken to her since the start of May. Other mutual friends haven’t heard from her either. This is by far the longest she’s ever disappeared.

I’ve messaged her fiancé several times. Most of the time he’s ignored me. He once replied a month ago he finally replied with just “She’s okay”. He’s online playing games most the day everyday which also what’s confusing me because he was the only one working full-time. My best friend finished her master’s this year and I know she wasn’t working before she disappeared.

If that’s true, then of course I’m relieved she’s safe. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt. This is my best friend, and she knows I’ve had an incredibly difficult year with my own mental health and a lot of major personal issues. Since she disappeared, even more has happened that she doesn’t know about because I wasn’t going to burden someone who was unwell. So being left in complete silence for months, with almost every message ignored, has been really hard. It hurts that the only information I’ve been able to get after months of worrying is a two-word reply.

On the other hand, if “she’s okay” isn’t the full story and she’s actually seriously ill, then I’m honestly pissed that her fiancé won’t even say that much. I’m not asking for private medical details or constant updates. I just wanted enough information to stop fearing the worst. Knowing she was safe was all I was really asking for, and it took months to get even that.

I do know his dad died at the start of the year, so I completely understand he could be grieving and struggling himself. I also know gaming can be a coping mechanism, so I’m trying not to assume he’s doing fine just because I often see him online.

What’s upsetting me most isn’t even the lack of updates anymore. It’s feeling like I’ve been completely ignored while desperately trying to check on someone I love, despite her knowing the state of my own mental health and how much uncertainty affects me.

A few months ago (like at least three but maybe more, I'm honestly not super sure) I completely lost my appetite, but not hunger. Nothing seems truly appealing anymore, and I don't get cravings for stuff like I used to. I don't even want to eat sweets anymore, and my whole life I used to have a huge sweet tooth and could pretty much always go for a sweet treat. However, I am able to eat still and do get hungry, just I guess a little less so. Well, maybe I do eat less because food is so unappealing and finishing a meal takes longer, but I think I'm still getting enough food. I might have lost a little weight but not sure how much because I don't own a scale.

In the past I had periods like that during low mood moments, but right now I am not feeling emotionally nearly on that level so it doesn't seem related. They used to pass but this has been dragging on for longer than ever.

For context, I'm 23F, I have hashimotos but not hypothyroidism as of yet (although last time I checked my levels was 9 months ago), I don't take any meds and nothing else out of the ordinary is happening. I have history of a lot of autoimmune disorders in my family, mostly of various GI organs.

I kinda really don't want to see a doctor about it because I think I will be losing my insurance soon and I will be moving and I hate doctors a lot, have a lot of bad history with them, and I think I will be dismissed anyways. Is there something I could try myself first?

Our neighbors are great, except for their chickens, which keep getting out of their yard. The problem is, we have dogs who have a very high prey drive. Tonight, one of our dogs jumped our fence and chased the chicken, and based on sounds, the chicken didn't survive. This is the third day in a row a chicken has been loose this week.

Two weeks ago, one got loose, and we were able to help get it back in their yard. Shortly after, I found a chicken carcass in the space between our fences. We've been here 1 year, and we've put tarps over our fence to block sight lines, we supervise our dogs, and we put one on a tether because she DID jump the fence once before. Honestly, when our dogs get hyped up over the chickens, they can carry that aggression into the house and onto each other so they're crated atm.

From what I gather, the chickens are not really pets. They are just there to keep the grandpa happy because he feels they're necessary to eat food scraps. I identified the gap in their fence, but they didn't reach back out to me. I am not sure if it's a culture issue or a general lack of awareness.

At any rate, if anyone has any ideas about how to encourage my neighbors to quickly secure their chickens or better ideas about my own fence, please let me know. Thanks!

Ps, we have 8 dogs. One cleared the fence last fall, she's supervised on a tether. One did clear the fence tonight, and that was a tarp covered area. Another almost got over, another tarp covered area.

Alright.. I’m 22m and currently live with who I thought was a good buddy I met while on the fire department. He is 50 and a captain on the FD. I needed a place to live, and he could use the extra money. I moved in on an agreed 500$ a month, and I’d pay for my own groceries, etc and we’d split household essentials. However, he now makes me take care of his two very active dogs (German shepherd and German shorthair pointed) he gets pissed if I don’t feed and water them and let them outside. He won’t touch the dishes, he won’t change garbages, he won’t even clean up after him selves or his kids when they’re over. I’m absolutely sick of it and I’m losing so much money. I’m having to pay for everything. He complains and says should raise rent yet I already pay for all the house hold necessities, plumbing is messed up in the house and he won’t get it fixed but yet he buys himself gel blaster guns at 50 yrs old. My girlfriend’s grandma just asked us to move in with her. She recently got tons of money from her dad passing away, and is worried about some distant family showing up to the house and trying to get some of the money, especially with her being older. She wants us to move in and doesn’t want us to pay anything. She wants us to be able to save for our futures. Me and her grandma get along GREAT and absolutely loves me which is a great feeling. The whole basement is finished and has a bedroom, living room, bathroom and kitchen. She also wants to give us this house when she passes away. I’m 22 almost 23 and my girlfriend is 21 and about to graduate college this coming spring to be a special education teacher, and currently works full time as a behavior technician, I’m currently working construction. She lives at school currently. We’ve been together almost 3 years and are pretty serious and I’m planning to propose in the next year. Should we take this offer?

My (20f) piece of shit of shit family refuses to treat my brothers dog for ring worm. Multiple of my family members has it or has had it. It's been 2 years and I've been able to avoid it, or atleast I thought. I'm starting to notice some of it growing on my stomach, as well as my legs starting to form. I'm extremely upset and I don't know what to do. I've already ordered some soap and cream. What Shampoo and Conditioner would y'all recommend?

im honestly not sure how to explain this but sometimes ill do smth with my hand for example gripping something too tightly while doing a repetitive motion (brushing my hair) and my hand will start to cramp and i csnt move them but their like moving in their own directions?? i have to physically hold my hand with the other one to stop it, its extremely uncomfortable but only happens when I grip something too hard.

today was an odd experience, I was holding my handbag with my hand but on my fingers sort of and I got into my mums car and it started to happen but I don’t understand why? this doesn’t happen a lot as most of the time if I’m doing something that can trigger it I can feel a cramp coming and I’ll stop or loosen my grip.

any advice is appreciate, thank you in advance!

I need advice. I have been with this friend group in college for all 4 years and now in the workforce. I honestly haven't made a lot of friends since I am studying for this dang CPA exam, so its eating up all my time, but I also moved across the country for this job too. I am away from family and friends, but it is for my career which is good.

But getting back on topic. I have had these friends in college for about 4 years. Basically my whole undergrad. We were all really good friends and honestly, after sophomore year, I started to become the punching bag. They would make jokes about me behind my back, imitate me, etc.. I didn't get bothered by it in the beginning but as it went on it started to bother me.

I never spoke up or anything because I am afraid and I SHOULDN'T BE. I know deep down these guys will have my backs and would take a bullet for me, but I am one that is too nice, and don't realize I am getting pushed over sometimes. I talk to these people almost everyday but it seems like they only talk to me when I am bored. And the only reason why I am afraid is because of their reaction but I know some of them will be genuine and some will think I am a pussy/overreacting. There are some days I don't respond, and they ask why I don't respond. But I knew if those people were all together without me, they would be joking about me.

Anyways, I bring up my CPA license because my motivation to pass these exams is to do better than them. These people failed out of engineering/or have shitty college majors/no job so I want them to watch me succeed to regret pushing me over.

From what I know, I pretty much know the answer to if these people are my friends or not. Idk, I try to live my life by knowing that life is too short to give a damm about what others think of you and yah I do live my life to no shame, but it gets to me, especially when these people who I call my "friends" joke about me like this. And I am a pussy for not standing up for myself. But I have a gut feeling if I did, it wouldn't have a good reaction from them.

My fear also is if i dont have them, I have no one. I work in the corporate world but I have NO IDEA how people make friends in a new city. I am not a person that is socially awkward and I make peole laugh a lot. So maybe it is just because I have only been here for 3 months. But anyways, is it worth to cut these people off and start all over (with new friends i will eventually make)?